Vicious
by xxWickedWench
Summary: "One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is LOVE." Every person in New York accepted Spot and Angel being together. Except one. .Complete. Part II of III.
1. prologue

**STOP (HAMMER TIME)! IF YOU'VE NOT READ _BLUE EYES AND EMERALD ISLES_, THE FOLLOWING STORY WILL NOT MAKE SENSE! Thank you.**

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**VICIOUS**

**Prologue**

A girl stepped off a gang plank of a large ship with ominous black sails and smirked at her surroundings. Her comrades were off gallivanting somewhere, she was sure, but she had docked her ship here for other reasons other than plundering and wenches.

She was dressed in odd clothing. A tattered, wind-beaten striped skirt and an off-white shirt that looked at least a size too big for her frame. She wasn't petite in the least, but she wasn't entirely bulky, either. She had a chain link belt that held her sword that swung maliciously at her hip and a dagger was tucked in the side buckle of her left boot. She had long, wild black waves of hair and dark eyes shaped oddly in comparison to the normal New York City occupants.

The pirate girl looked up to see another girl emerge from the shadows of the dusty streets. She had blonde hair, dark blue eyes and the most voluptuous figure the pirate girl had ever seen. She was dressed hideously in a saloon girl's dress, but she could hear the coins as she walked.

And the money was all she was interested in.

"You gonna give me the money now then?" the girl asked, her London accent thick and odd sounding. New York City may have been diverse, but it was still odd to hear different accents.

The blonde girl produced a bag of coins from inside her corset and dropped it into the pirate's waiting hand. The dark haired girl smirked at the heavy weight of the coins.

"You make all this workin' at a brothel?" she asked, directing her smirk to the whore in front of her.

The blonde ignored the jab. "It will suffice, then?"

The pirate rolled her eyes. "Sure. I'll get the job done," she said.

She almost felt bad taking all this money for a little task such as the one the girl wanted, but she wasn't about to tell the wench that. Might as well get something good for the childish task she had ahead of her.

"So what shall I call you? Since we are in business now," the blonde said, and the pirate noted how she was trying to act slick like she was doing business with the mafia. It made the girl smirk again.

"Just call me Pirate," the dark haired girl responded, pocketing her money with a satisfied grin.

Poor, stupid twit.

"Nice doing business with you, then, Pirate," the blonde offered her hand and Pirate shook it. Then the twit's mouth twisted into a little grin that looked sinister in the dim gaslight of the streets.

"I'm Desiree."

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**OMG! Sequels with confusing prologues! Haha. I would like to thank everyone to reviewed, demanding to have a sequel. I love you all, guys. Teehee. I think this means I have fans now... :). But I gots a proposition for you'se all. If you've reviewed BLUE EYES at least _twice_, you may join my casting call for VICIOUS. That's right, kids! It's on my profile page. Fill it out and send it to me via PM and I will most definately work you into my story!**

**P.S. - VICOUS is officially dedicated to my new e-BFF and beta Izabeal Finley, how is so much like Lissa that it makes me squee! :)**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked/Sara**


	2. of kings and queens

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter One**

"Why do ya always gotta be up before me?"

I smirked at the sleepy comment that was tossed at my general direction as I was running a brush through my sorry mop of hair. It had grown more blonde under the sunlight in New York City, almost all of the red lighting out. It looked like I just had blonde hair. You had to look close to see the red now.

"Old habits die hard," I told him simply, and laughed when he muttered something about 'damn riddles' and then pulled the worn blanket over his head.

I would never understand why he needed a blanket in the summer. Well, the tail end of summer. I smiled in spite of myself and shuffled back to my bunk where my sleeping leader was buried under the blanket. I smirked and stuffed my hairbrush into my things.

"We're going to be late," I said casually.

An annoyed grumble was my response, which sounded funny from under the blankets. It was like I'd poked a bear. A very attractive bear.

"Papes ain't going to sell themselves," I added.

This time, he didn't grumble. I grinned and pulled the corner of the blanket up, folding myself easily underneath it. The corner of his mouth tilted upwards and his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling my body flush against his.

Oh, how easy it was now to share a bed with him! Before, I used to not be able to sleep when he slept in the same bed as me. I used to lie awake night after night, terrified of his soft breathing, his warm hands, his steady heart that beat passionately in his chest against my ear.

I worked hard to separate Sean from my father. Sean was my lover. He kissed me in love, held my hand in love, did everything in love. My father did everything in lust and violence. He touched me in lust, hit in violence, grinned at my pain. Sean did none of those things. Ever.

Sometimes it still bothered me. Some I'd double take when Spot would grin my way, wondering what it meant. It was a work in progress. But right now, he felt nice. His hands felt right against the small of my back. They belonged there. They've _always_ belonged there.

"See? Dis is what I can get used to," he murmured and then kissed my nose.

I rolled my eyes. "You are insatiable."

"You can't prove that," he whispered in my ear, his nose nuzzling my neck. "Yet."

I pulled away from him, sitting with my feet touching the ground. But this time I ripped the blanket off of him and laughed when he groaned loudly. He got up, though, this time. I sat down at the edge of the bed, trying not to watch his back muscles move as he stretched on the other side of the cot. I licked my lips and looked away shyly, embarrassed at my gawking.

He pulled one of his shirts on and I leaned over, playing with his cane that had been leaning against the wall nearby. I smiled slightly when he came around and sat down beside me. He gave me a funny look.

"'S 'at my shirt?"

I grinned and looked away shyly. "It smelled good, so I put it on. Get over yourself, Conlon."

"Oh, yeah?" Spot's arm wrapped around my middle and he kissed my neck affectionately.

"Stop it!" I squealed, blushing deeply and then I stood up. "We have to sell. We don't have time for this today."

Spot looked up at me, with completely serious blue eyes. "Eager to get back to Manhattan, eh, Angel?"

I sighed softly. Obviously, Spot was still bitter about our little 'agreement' of sorts when we got back together a month ago. I was dividing my time between him and Manhattan. It was hard on my heart. Spot was, well, he was everything. But I was a Manhattan newsie at heart. I couldn't ignore either one, so I settled for dividing myself between them. And Spot was less than thrilled.

"You know it's not that," I said and then sat back down, placing my head on his shoulder. His strong, rugged, leader shoulder. God, he was delicious.

"Then what is it, huh?" I could almost hear the frown in his voice.

"It's not good for us to be around each other so much," I said quietly. "We'll fight and say things we don't mean. I don't want to fight with you."

Spot laughed bitterly. "Who toldja that? Silver?"

I lifted my head and glared playfully at him. "Shuddup, all right? Why can't ya just trust me for once?"

He rolled his eyes and it made me smile. It was the little things he did that made all this time between us worth it.

"Are you giving the King of Brooklyn orders?" He grinned up at me when I stood up to stretch.

"Is the King of Brooklyn enjoying it?" I shot back and it made him laugh. I liked making him laugh. It was a cute laugh.

"Yeah, maybe."

I laughed myself and then leaned down, pressing my mouth against his, comforted by the familiar warmth. He pulled me down into his lap gently and I sighed. As much as I fought it, I would always have time for this.

"You'se amazing, Lissa O'Rourke." He smirked up at me.

I poked him in the chest. "And don't ya forget it, Sean Conlon."

He stole another kiss from my mouth the second before I stood up, making me blush as I headed for the door. I pulled it open and then sighed in spite of myself. I was always going to be just a big pile of mush around him.

"Let's go, Your Highness."

I grinned back at him and then shuffled out through the Lodging House, down the steps and into the morning sun. Silver was waiting for me just outside, smoking, and he offered his arm to me, which I took graciously. I snagged the cigarette from his lips and inhaled, smiling as I blew a puff of smoke out from between my lips.

"Ya shouldn't smoke, ya know," Spot informed me and I smiled over at him. I didn't really care how exactly he managed to catch up, but it was still kind of funny.

"Yeah, it's bad for ya," Silver agreed and I rolled my eyes.

"Go swing on it. Both of you." I gave them both withering looks. "I smoke with _you_ all the time," I said, poking Silver in the arm. "And _you've_ never had a problem with it before." I poked Spot in the arm. Both boys laughed at me.

"We really shouldn't let 'er smoke, Conlon," Silver said, casually.

"You're right, Silver. Maybe we should start cracking down on her," Spot agreed, as if I wasn't even there.

"Is dat an invitation tah somethin', Your Majesty?"

"Don't even think about it."

I rolled my eyes and unhooked my arm from Silver's, sliding around them to catch up with the Brooklyn birdies that were clustered at the corner near the Distribution yard.

"Hey, Sneaky," I said, wrapping my arms tightly around Sneak from behind. The boy lit up in delight when he saw it was me, his light brown eyes warming easily.

"Heya, Angel! Ya look real pretty taday," Sneak said sweetly and I leaned down to kiss his nose.

"Ya little charmer. Save that for sellin', love." I gave him another squeeze before I let him go, trotting along after Spot to catch up with him.

His arm wrapped around my shoulders when I caught up. "Gonna miss ya bein' so nice to the birds, Angel," he said against my ear, his mouth warm against my cheek.

"Well someone has to, ya tyrant," I shot back and smiled fondly at him when he looked down at me, something warm making his eyes lighten to the color of Irish ocean waves.

We bought our papes without hassle and shuffled back out to the sidewalk. The only thing I didn't do with Spot was sell papers. It was the only thing he still did alone. Silver always joked about how Spot did _everything_ alone, until I came around, and then he started doing everything with me.

I thought it was kind of cute, but nobody would catch me dead saying that out loud. I was Queen of Brooklyn now, and had to uphold my King's title, which meant no mushy stuff in public. Unless he did it first.

It was a stupid rule, really. Well, _I_ thought so.

"Angel!" Sneak shouted, scampering across the dirty streets to reach me, arms full of newspapers.

I smiled. "Whassa matter, love?"

"Flint and Avery is sellin' by themselves taday, and I ain't got nobody tah sell with," he said, peering up at me, asking without asking.

"Go with him, Angel. I can afford one day of sellin' without ya pretty face 'round," Silver said, winking at me when I looked over at him.

I smiled back down at Sneak. "Sure, love. You can sell with me."

"Swell!" Sneak's face lit up and I turned around to tell Spot goodbye. Before I could, though, he tugged me in gently and kissed the corner of my lips.

"Come to the docks when ya done, Angel. Got somewheres to show ya," he said against my ear and I nodded slightly, squeezing the hand that rested on my waist for a moment before I pulled away and sidled down the street with Sneak to my usual spot.

After an afternoon of selling and messing around with Sneak, I walked him to the spot he was going to meet with Avery and Flint so they could go and cause trouble somewhere, after I gave him some money to get himself something to eat. He'd worked hard that morning and I had a soft spot for him.

I just needed a reason to give him money, honestly.

I jogged back through Brooklyn to get to the docks, finding my king perched on his rafter throne, staring out into the East River. I climbed up to his perch and tugged my cap off, long hair spilling around my shoulders.

"Angel, can I ask ya something?" he asked, after sitting in silence with me for a few moments.

"Yeah, sure," I said, looking over at him.

"Do ya like bein' with me?" he asked, almost like he was embarrassed. "I mean… well, do I make ya happy and all?"

I would have laughed if his face hadn't been so serious.

"I love being with you, Spot," I admitted in a small voice. "I've waited so long to find you again, and now that I have, I just… I don't know. That's why I can't decide between Manhattan and Brooklyn."

"I'd never make ya pick between us, Angel. Unless it was for your safety," Spot told me seriously, and then looked over at me. "Even if it was, ya'd fight like hell with me about it. Damn stubborn girl."

I smiled. "You love it."

"I can never tell what you'se doin' next, Angel. That's what I love. Ya keep me on me toes, doll."

I nodded. "Ya need someone to keep ya damn head from swelling too much, Mister Pride Issues. That's why I'm queen."

Something funny passed through his eyes and his lips tilted in a smile I could not place. The emotion was one I didn't recognize, mirrored in his blue eyes.

"_Tá tú mo chroí, Lissa_," he said, mostly to himself.

I looked away, shyly. "So where's this place you were talkin' about this morning?" I asked, not sure why I was so flustered.

He shook his head like he'd been slapped back into reality and then looked over at me. "I'll show ya."

Spot slid easily down to the worn wooden boards below and I inched down after him, stumbling a little when I landed. He made it look so easy. Once I'd righted myself, he grasped my hand and I walked beside him quietly through the Brooklyn streets. We got to Manhattan but we didn't go the normal way to Duane Street. We turned down a street I didn't recognize and into a little deli on the far corner of the street.

"The usual, yeah, doll?" Spot looked over at me and I nodded mutely. He ordered us two sandwiches and some water to split and for some silly reason, I found him endearing in the oddest way.

We walked upstairs and onto the patio in the back, sitting at these cute little white wrought iron café tables and chairs. It was very cute here; I had to hand it to the boy. When he wanted to be classy, he was pretty classy. We chatted through lunch, exchanging smiles and sandwiches halfway through for good luck. Once finished, I got up and joined Spot who was leaning against the railing, looking out at the New York City skyline.

"I _am_ going to miss you, Sean," I informed him quietly, hooking my arm through his and setting my head down on his shoulder as we watched the rooftops together.

"Ain't the same when you ain't around, Angel. Never is," he responded, just as quiet. "You make Brooklyn bright. I just take care of the business." He sighed quietly. "You'se me better half, Angel. Always have been."

He'd never actually told me he loved me. Just the one time, long ago, when he first discovered who I was, he said he'd _loved_ me. Past tense. As in, he used to love me when we lived in Ireland and I came to his parents' house late at night because I wanted to be safe.

But he never spoke those words again, not even now, when we _were_ together. I figured this was his way of saying it, without actually using the word _love_.

But I would always love him. Secretly, in my heart.

"Hey," I said gently and he looked down at me. "I ain't gonna be gone forever. I'll be back in Brooklyn before ya know it."

"Yeah, but that's too long," he murmured and then leaned down, pressing a kiss to my bottom lip, then pulled back with a sigh. "Oh, Liss."

I felt a grin split my face. "Oh no. Is the fearless, famous and most respected leader of Brooklyn _actually_ getting misty-eyed over a _girl_? Exty, extry! Brooklyn leader is CRYING!" I squealed and pulled from his arms, laughing.

"I am _not crying_," Spot growled and then barreled after me. I darted away, down the steps and out onto the sidewalk where I was attacked from behind and warm lips leeched to the curve of my neck.

I smiled and leaned back against him, giggling as he kissed my neck gently, his arms strong and sturdy around me, my anchor in the dark typhoon of life.

"So did I cheer ya up?" I asked innocently.

"Mmm." He snickered darkly against my skin and the feel of it made tremors rock my spine. "Ya ain't just a girl, Angel. You'se my girl."

Something about hearing him say that made funny things happen in the pit of my stomach. I pulled away from him before my body got more out of hand. I smiled softly up at him and he led me down the streets of Manhattan to Tibby's where I was normally handed off like a child from her nanny to her parents. Or was it the other way around?

Spot whirled me around and crushed his mouth against mine, which I eagerly accepted. I wormed my arms around his neck and kissed him back, his hand warm against my hip. When he leaned back, he smiled at me.

"Don't plan nothin' for Friday, Angel," he said offhandedly.

I licked my lips, blushing dark scarlet.

"I wasn't finished," I murmured.

"I know," he said, grinning like the fox that he was.

I resisted the urge to sock him.

"So what's happening Friday?" I asked. I knew _exactly_ what was happening Friday.

"Do I gotta have an excuse to take me girl out like a proper gentleman?" he asked innocently. "Nevermind. Don't answer that."

I giggled and then hugged him tightly. "All right. 'Till Friday, then, yeah?"

He nodded. "Yeah." He leaned down and stole another kiss from my lips, smiling when he left me breathless. "Bye, beautiful."

And with that, the damn King of Brooklyn strode down the street, back where he'd come from. I shook my head after him, until Race poked his head out of the door in Tibby's.

"If ya done playin' kissy face, Angel, we saved ya a seat," he said and I shoved him through the door playfully before following myself.

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**Yippeee! This chapter makes me smile. Angel and Spot are just so irresistable together, ain't they? C: Casting call is still open, kiddies! View my profile to join! :)**

**P.S. - VICOUS is (still) officially dedicated to my new e-BFF and beta Izabeal Finley, how is so much like Lissa that it makes me squee! :)**

**Oh, and sadly, I do not own the newsies. Do ya think I'd be here if a bunch of dancing boys (and Spot, the emo, badass, non-dancing child) were mine? C:**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked/Sara**


	3. of pirates and best friends

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Two**

I was greeted in Tibby's with a bunch of hugs and pats on the back. It felt good to be back. Manhattan was the first place I was accepted. They'd been my friends even when I was a pickpocket, stealing anything just to make it through another night.

I smiled when I saw Sarah sitting beside Jack, beaming quietly in her shy way. She was so sweet.

"Sarah!" I cried and she stood up, hugging me.

"Hello, Angel," she said, smiling at me.

I beamed and then sat down beside Race at the seat I figured he'd saved for me. Jack grinned at me and put his arm around the back of Sarah's chair.

"So how was Brooklyn, Angel?" he asked and the way he said it made me blush, but I covered it up by glaring at him.

"Shuddup, Kelly," I grumbled. "So did I miss anything here?"

"Oooh, she ain't answerin' the question. Guilty as charged!" Race snickered and I elbowed him, my nose wrinkling. But I didn't deny it or object. _Let them think Spot and I were foolin' around all this time_, I thought, rolling my eyes.

"Actually, ya did miss somethin'. Some_one_, actually," Jack said, leaning back. "Hey, Pirate! C'mere, doll!"

I looked up, watching a girl stand up slowly from the corner booth. She had long, sleek black hair and dark eyes and she was dressed oddly in a tattered skirt and a shirt that looked too big for her. As she walked over to our table, I noted her knee high boots with a dagger stuffed into the side buckle, metal gleaming maliciously. I swallowed hard.

"Whatcha need, Jack?" the girl asked and I was surprised by her cockney accent. It was a funny change. I'd never heard one before, just newsies around here trying to imitate it to be funny.

"This here is Angel. The girl I was tellin' ya about. Angel, this here is Pirate, me newest recruit," Jack introduced and the girl's strange black eyes moved to my face, her full mouth tilting into a smirk.

"Hello, Angel. I've heard much about you," the girl, Pirate, said.

I blinked a few times. "Oh." Something about the way she talked made me wary.

The girl smirked again and I wondered for a hellish moment if she enjoyed my discomfort. "Queen of Brooklyn _and_ the only girl newsie. It must be some life you live, Angel."

I blinked a few times. What was she playing at? "I guess," I said slowly, guarded.

"I'm sorry to inform you, but I've relieved you of your latter title."

"You're a newsie?"

"Indeed."

I nodded slowly, thoroughly creeped out, and then stood up. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat with you boys, but I promised Diana that'd I'd go see her."

Pirate smirked again as I stood up and righted my cap. All her smirking reminded me of Brooklyn and it made me nostalgic for blue eyes. Oi, it was so hard to be without him sometimes, even if it was to see my friends here in Manhattan. I waved goodbye to the Manhattaners and then made my trek across town to the large Queen Anne style home, fondly called Ashfield Manor, which housed my dear ballet friends, and Diana.

I stepped under the _porte-cochère_ and up to the door and knocked purposefully three times, smiling when the maid answered the door. "May I help you, Miss?"

I nodded. "I'm here to see Diana Pemberton," I informed her.

"May I inform her as to who is calling upon her?" The maid opened the door and allowed me inside, taking me to the sitting room to wait.

"Lissa O'Rourke," I told her and sat down, embarrassed by my dirty clothes and the clean, neat furniture I was sitting on.

I waited quietly until my dearest best friend came to the doorway, dressed in her best as always and I stood up to greet her. "Darling Lissie!" she squealed and we embraced like sisters.

"Hello, Di," I said softly, blushing.

Diana beamed at me. "Come, Lissie. Let us retire to the drawing room."

We walked together down the hallway until we reached the drawing room. As always, it was furnished beautifully and expensively, with fine cherry oak furniture, elaborate rugs, and expensive paintings. Diana pulled me down to sit beside her on a pink-upholstered daybed and smiled at me.

"I have something for you," Diana said, nearly bubbling with delight. She produced a large package from beside the daybed and thrust it at me with a grin.

"I was hoping you'd forget about this," I admitted, staring at the box in my lap.

"Nonsense!" Diana laughed. "I must have a good reason to spoil my very best friend! Now, open it all ready!"

I unlaced the pretty ribbons and pulled the top off. Inside was the loveliest gown I had ever seen. It was light white eyelet lace, a daytime dress, made up to the most fashionable at the time. The bodice was, of course, laced up in the back with pretty purple ribbons. I'd never seen such a color in my life.

"Oh, Diana. You spoil me so." I sighed. "Why are you such a good friend?"

"So you like it?" Diana asked and I almost laughed at how silly she was. Oh, how I wished I could be just like Diana, without a care in the world.

"I love it," I said softly. "As long as I don't have to wear those wretched corsets."

Diana scoffed. "Of course not, Liss. You never needed them anyhow. You have a nineteen inch waist naturally. Wearing a corset never flattered you completely."

I rolled my eyes. "Exaggeration is bad for the soul, Miss Diana."

"And a corset is bad for your waist, Miss Lissa."

I sighed and then ran my fingers over the lace of the bodice, amazed at Diana's depth of character. I was used to the shallow, bubble-headed girls of the wealthy upper crust of New York, not this charming, beautiful girl that I called my best friend. Yes, she had her shallow moments. Didn't we all? But she was different. I couldn't place the reason, but I just felt it.

"Come, Lissie. I want to see if it fits," Diana insisted and tugged me up the stairs with her. "Mary!"

The seamstress ran from one of the many rooms and followed us up the stairs to Diana's room. Diana made me undress and scrub my skin with rose water and Mary took my newsie clothes to be washed up and then Di helped me into my new dress, hooking the ribbons through each little eye in the back and then tying it securely at the base of my spine.

The skirt was very modern, hitching up a few inches above my ankle. Leave it to Diana Pemberton to push the modesty envelope.

Diana moved into wealthy-mode as Mary came back into the room, scrutinizing the dress as it lay on my body. I blushed under her close eye.

"I want the bodice lowered, but keep the skirt the same length," Diana instructed and Mary jumped to action, pinning fabric as much as she could while it was still on me. "And I want the waist taken in slightly. See how it just bunches all wrong here?"

Diana unlaced me once more and I slipped out, sitting easily in one of Diana's chemises while Mary took the dress back to fix it the way Diana instructed. It was funny how much real money Medda had, even just being a vaudeville stage performer. Most vaudeville performers just got by, but not Medda.

She was flourishing.

Diana and I talked again for about another hour while my clothes were drying out on a line out back. Once they were all done, though, I redressed in my now-clean clothes while Diana had Mary re-box my new dress up.

"Di, where are all the other girls?" I asked, taking the box from Mary when she was finished. It had just occurred to me that she was alone in the giant house.

Diana looked bashful. "They went to the opera tonight. I wasn't feeling up to so much excitement it so I requested to stay home. I feel fine now."

I grinned at her. So like my Diana, of course. Strong-willed as much as she could in this life. Stronger than me, at least.

I said my goodbyes to Di and then hurried off down the road, back towards Duane Street to meet up with the boys. I blinked in shock when I got there, seeing some man I didn't know speaking with Kloppman and some of the boys were hanging around.

"What's goin' on?" I asked Swifty, who was sitting outside on the curb. I sat down beside him.

"Someone tipped off the Bulls about us lettin' girl stay in the Lodgin' House a couple a' weeks ago. They wanna make an entire buildin' for the girl newsies," Swifty said and I frowned.

"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. There's only me and Pirate. Right?"

"Guess not. It's real shitty, Angel. Conlon ain't gonna be happy 'bout it when he hears." We exchanged glances and Swifty frowned a little.

I bobbed my head in agreement. No, Spot wouldn't be happy about this. The birds didn't know where this new Lodging House would be and that would upset him, since I was almost sure he had birds watching me every time I merely stepped out to have a smoke with Silver, let alone roam around Manhattan. I was pretty sure I was being watched at that moment, too.

I wondered for a silly moment how long it would take for word to reach His Royal Majesty. I would've bet an hour, at best.

* * *

**Yay for fluff-mania last chapter! C: Casting call is still open, kiddies! View my profile to join! :)**

**P.S. - VICOUS is (still) officially dedicated to my e-BFF and beta Izabeal Finley, how is so much like Lissa that it (still) makes me squee! :)**

**Nope. Still not mine.**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked/Sara**


	4. of secrets and nightshade

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Three**

I woke up early like I did every morning, only an hour before the circulation bell would ring. _That would be enough time,_ I reasoned as I scrubbed my face and put on my clean clothes. I didn't bother with my hat, just snuck out of the Lodging House and headed down the street towards the line between Brooklyn and Manhattan.

I reached a familiar house and shuffled up the steps, knocking on the door nervously, quietly. I felt like my knocking would disturb the quiet New York morning. I smiled up into dark eyes as Mr. MacLean answered the door.

"Miss Lissa O'Rourke. A was hoping ye'd stop back tae see us," he said and ushered me inside. "Won't ye have breakfast with us, dear?"

Since getting back with Spot, I frequented Nightshade's house with Silver when we sold together. Night and I got to talk more, and we actually became pretty close friends. She knew everything about me, and I felt safe telling her because she was practically a doctor anyways, even sixteen as she was.

I blushed. "I would hate to impose upon you, sir," I said shyly.

"Sir, eh?" Mr. MacLean grinned.

I sighed. "Fine, I will have breakfast. Only if you stop teasing me."

"Never!" He laughed and shoved me towards the kitchen playfully. It was like having a father. Well, a good father.

"Nightshade!"

"Angel!"

She and I hugged and then she leaned back and beamed at me. "Have ye come for breakfast?"

I nodded and her violet eyes danced delightfully. I knew how Silver could be smitten with her. She was just so sweet, and that adorable Scottish accent of hers just cemented the deal. Always would. Her freckles had gotten darker from the last time I saw her. I wondered if she'd been out in the sun.

I sat down with Night and her parents at their kitchen table and we ate and chatted about silly things, laughing. It was actually pretty nice. The MacLeans were very nice people. And Lara was quickly becoming one of my best friends.

Eventually, Night and I excused ourselves from the table to go and talk upstairs on her roof. In addition to being one of the most popular doctors in all of New York City, Mr. MacLean also had a large green thumb, thus the rooftop garden he had on top of his townhouse. It was beautiful. Night and I sat down on the swinging chair together.

"So, what's happened since A spoke tae ye last?" Lara asked.

I had been seeing Nightshade twice a week, without Silver, to talk about things going on in my life. It felt kind of funny, but it was better than writing in a diary for someone to read.

Like Spot.

Sometimes I couldn't talk to him about the things going on in my head. He had Brooklyn to worry about, not my trivial girl things. That's where Lara came in. She knew everything I couldn't tell Spot about, and I was glad.

"Well, I left Brooklyn yesterday," I said, frowning.

Night smiled knowingly. "Yeah, ye mentioned that last time. How are ye doin' with it?"

I sighed. "I'm all right, I guess."

"Ye miss him all ready," she decided and I smiled.

"Of course. I love Brooklyn. But I also love Manhattan. I could never pick between them. It would be too hard," I said, frowning at my hands.

"Ye know either way would be hard. If ye stayed in Brooklyn all the time, ye'd miss yer friends. If ye stayed in Manhattan, then ye'd miss Spot," Nightshade rationalized. "It's a Morton's Fork."

I blinked. "Ya can't talk Psych mumbo jumbo to me, Night."

Lara smiled. "It means having tae decided between two equally undesirable things. Being without yer friends, or bein' without Spot. Dividing yeself between them is prob'ly nae good for ye."

I nodded. "I know that. I just don't know what I would do if I had to pick. Is that wrong?"

Lara shook her head. "Nae at all, Lissa. It's perfectly normal nae tae know what ye would do."

"I mean, Spot's never made me pick between him and Manhattan. He told me just yesterday he wouldn't. But I wonder if he wants to," I said, thinking. "You'd think I'd pick Spot, though, since I'm his girl and all. But I really don't know what I would pick," I admitted. "I hope I never have to make that choice," I said quietly.

Lara took my hand in hers. "Yer fear is normal, Lissa," she said gently. "It makes ye human. Honestly, A'd be more worried if ye knew exactly what ye'd chose if Spot made ye."

I smiled at her. "So it's all right to… not know?"

Lara nodded. "Perfectly all right."

"Okay," I said, taking that in with a sigh.

"Have ye thought any more about yer father?" Night asked gently.

My father was something Nightshade and I talked about a lot. I never talked to Sean about my father because he knew everything my father did to me. But talking about it to Lara made things easier to deal with.

"Always," I murmured. "Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I just get so scared. I thought that was over with. I want the terror to stop."

Lara squeezed my hand. "These things take time, Lissa. It doesn't make ye any less healed because ye still get scared at night. Ye have a right. He hurt ye when it was nighttime."

I nodded. "But I thought I was over the nightmares, the fear. Sometimes I get scared of Sean for no reason. I don't want to be afraid anymore, Lara. I really just… don't." I looked away, afraid of crying. "I don't like these feelings, Lara. I hate it."

"What feelings are they?"

I pressed my lips together. "Helpless, sometimes. I can't stop myself from feeling scared. Surreal, because sometimes I'm just so blindingly happy with him and I never thought I'd feel so happy. Guilt, because I'm with him and every girl in New York wants him. And sometimes shame."

"Why shame?"

"I want to… sleep with him," I admitted in a small voice.

"Then why don't ye?" Lara smiled at me. "Ye deserve happiness, Lissa O'Rourke."

"I see the way he looks at me sometimes," I said softly, staring at my hands. "It worries me. I can't do it. Twice, we've come so close but… I just couldn't. It felt wrong. But I want to. So badly."

"Has he ever pushed ye for it? Ye said ye have tried twice. Did ye do it because he asked ye tae?" Nightshade asked.

"No. He's never asked me to do it," I admitted.

"Then why worry aboot it?"

"I just…" I sighed. "I want to be like every other girl. Any girl in New York would jump at the chance to bed Spot Conlon. So why is it that I'm the only girl that can't?"

"Are ye afraid of him, Lissa?"

I shook my head. "Of course not. I've never been afraid of Spot. I'm just afraid that when it does happen… something will go wrong."

"Like what? Are ye afraid ye won't like it?"

I shook my head, bashful. "I don't think that'd be possible," I admitted. "I'm just afraid that he'll get caught up in it and push too hard, or maybe he'll ignore me if I suddenly can't do it, you know?"

"Just like your… father."

I blinked a few times and then covered my mouth with my hand, tears in my eyes. "Oh, God, Lara, I _am_ afraid. You're right."

Nightshade looked up at me with her strange violet eyes. "Who's fault is it that ye feel this way, Lissa?"

"My father's," I said faintly.

The first thing Lara ever taught me was to quit blaming myself for the things that happened to me when I was younger. I did nothing wrong. I was a child. I did not flirt or dress inappropriately. I did not asked to be touched, penetrated, broken. I deserved love. I deserved Sean. I deserved happiness.

And I almost believed that.

"Ye done good taday, Lissa. Go an' sell some papes. An' if ye need anythin', come and find me. A'll always be here."

We hugged and then I was out of there, shuffling back to Duane Street just in time to hear the circulation bell ring. I jogged to catch up with Jack and David, who were walking together towards the Distribution yard. I wiggled in between the two of them and hooked one arm through each of theirs, beaming when Jack grinned at me and Dave blushed.

"Top o' the mornin', boys," I said sweetly, applying my native accent to the words, just to be a cliché Irish girl.

"Mornin', Angelface," Jack said and leaned down to kiss my cheek.

I grinned up at Jack. "I bet ya don't kiss Davey like that in the morning, Jacky," I teased him and then nudged Dave. "Ain't that right, Dave?"

"What? Oh, uh huh," David said, distracted. His eyes darted around us nervously and I felt embarrassed.

"He ain't here, Dave. Ya can talk to me," I informed him. Dave looked down at me nervously and I grinned.

I felt bad for him. I wondered how badly His Highness had frightened the poor boy. I made a mental note to give the King a swift kick in the pants when I saw him next. I walked with the boys to get papes and once I'd gotten mine, I hung back and fished for a cigarette and a match in my pocket. Couldn't smoke on the job. It was bad for business. And nobody was going to buy a pape from a smoking newsgirl.

I looked up when a lit cigarette was produced before me. I wondered what it was with people and giving me cigarettes when I couldn't find one.

"Consider it a peace offering," an English accent informed me and I looked up at Pirate, taking the cigarette from her fingers. "Didn't mean to give you a fright the other day."

I stuck the cigarette between my lips, frowning. "I ain't scared of nothin'." I said gruffly. _Liar,_ a voice whispered in my head, menacing, but I ignored it.

"Course not," Pirate agreed easily. "So you and Brooklyn, huh? Hear it's a big deal 'round these parts."

I shrugged. "Ain't a big deal to me. I've known Spot forever. It was only a matter of time before he wised up and we got together." Okay, so it wasn't a total lie, but it wasn't the truth either. "Ya heard about it?"

Pirate nodded. "Yep. The boys told me the first night I got here not to get any ideas 'cause it's a big deal and all that."

I shrugged again. It wasn't a big deal to me, but who was I to judge? I was the girl that didn't feel she deserved the bastard anyways.

"Heard that bitch Desiree still comes 'round for him," Pirate continued. "Least that's what Jack said."

I nodded, inhaling smoke. "Yeah. She's real annoying and trampy. But he doesn't want her," I said softly, thinking. "Dunno if he ever did."

_How do you know? Maybe he _does_ want her, _the menacing voice was back and I shoved it away, once more.

"Good. From what I hear, seems like you and Brooklyn would be a better match. He don't seem the type to go with whores," Pirate said. "Besides, she sounds like a complete bitch."

I smiled in spite of myself. "You know, Pirate, I think this could become something real beautiful."

Pirate smirked, but it didn't weird me out this time. I just figured being a pirate captain meant you didn't actually full on smile.

"Should we spit-shake or something then?"

"Damn straight we should."

So we did. And it felt good.

* * *

**Sorry for the mix up last chapter! Forgive me!**

**Yikes! Angel! Don't be friends with Pirate! She's a bad egg! xDD**

**Long chapter that (hopefully) explains some things about Angel. Casting call is still open, kiddies! View my profile to join! :) Most of your characters will debut in chapter five. C: Squee!**

**Nope. Still not mine. 'Cept for my Spot!muse. He's _all_ mine. -snuggle-**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked/Sara**


	5. of fun and disappointment

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Four – Of Fun and Disappointment**

"Oh my goodness, it's _Friday_!" I squealed, bouncing my way to the Distribution yard with the boys, who had heard quite enough about my excitement. I hadn't stopped talking about it since they got up.

"_We know_!" about ten boys shouted at me and I blushed, embarrassed at my own giddiness.

Okay, so I was a _little_ excited to see Spot. A _little_.

I sold my papes as fast as I could, hugging Pirate goodbye as I raced back to the Lodging House to get changed into some of my nicer clothes. I really didn't want to wear a dress, but I figured I probably should. So I slid into the new dress Diana bought me, lacing the ribbons myself easily, and then brushed out my hair, smiling into the dirty mirror in the washroom.

At least I looked somewhat presentable.

With one last nervous pat of my hair, I shuffled back down the stairs just in time to see the King himself entering. I stood on the bottom step and blushed as his eyes fell on me. I wondered how silly I looked.

"Wow, Lissa, ya look…" He searched for an accurate word to describe me.

"Girly?" I offered, smiling shyly.

"No, good. Ya look real good." I think he was blushing, too.

But he looked good himself. I mean, damn, his clothes were even washed. His hat was gone and his hair was pushed back out of his face. He looked… edible, to put it lightly. I flicked my tongue out to wet my lips and then flung my manners to hell. I rushed forward and crashed myself against him, hugging him as tightly as I could.

He hugged me back just as fiercely.

"Damnit, Angel, just come back to Brooklyn all ready," he whispered against my hair.

I smiled against his cheek. "I missed you," I whispered back. His mouth caught mine and I was a lost cause, my body responding to him unconditionally. I pressed closer, sighing. Goodness, I'd missed this.

When he pulled back, though, he smiled at me. "C'mon, let's get outta here." He took my hand and we walked out of the Lodging House together, shifting slightly so my arm was hooked through his.

Oh, he was so charming sometimes!

A very established young man with a very beautiful girl on his arm passed by us on the same sidewalk, giving a small smile to Spot and touching the brim of his hat respectfully as they passed us. Spot reached to tip his hat back but smiled bashfully, realizing he had no hat to tip.

I resisted the urge to crush my mouth against his at that very moment.

"I didn't know you could be polite," I said softly, peering up at him from under my eyelashes.

"You don't know what I can do," he replied, peering down at me in the same way, but he was grinning like a fox.

Damn him.

"So where's this place you're taking me, huh?" I asked, changing the subject before my body got any more out of hand. The more I thought about wanting to be with him intimately, the harder it was to control myself when he was around. I was almost embarrassed of that.

"It's a good place," he said, trying to sound nonchalant, but I could see he was getting excited.

But I was excited, too.

We'd been together for a month _today_ and it felt like we'd been together for years. I liked this feeling, and knowing that he knew about it and was taking me somewhere special because of it, made me smile. Sean Conlon hadn't changed all that much. He was the same, sweet, wide-eyed boy I'd known before, and that's what I liked best.

Finally, we reached a little place in the middle of the block and Spot steered me inside. I heard fiddles and harmonicas and even a piano, I thought.

"Conlon! I did nae expected tae see ye here tonight!" a very Irish voice called out over the singing men. They were singing Irish folksongs and I found myself enjoying it. _Very authentic,_ I thought.

Spot patted my hand gently and then let my arm go to shake hands with a burly man with dark red hair and a beard to match. "Heya, O'Malley. Toldja I was gonna bring me girl 'round sometime. This is her Royal Highness, Lissa O'Rourke."

Mr. O'Malley took my hand, bowing as he pressed a kiss to my knuckles like distinguished gentlemen do. I found myself blushing in spite of myself.

"It's very nice tae meet ye, Miss O'Rourke," he said. "Conlon's told me so much about ye. Though, he didn't tell me how beautiful ye were."

I curtsied shyly. "Thank you, sir. That's very kind. But please call me Lissa."

Spot grinned at me and I couldn't imagine why that was. Had I done something charming?

"The usual, eh, Conlon?" O'Malley turned to Spot, who nodded.

"A' course," he said and O'Malley was gone, back behind the bar counter. I turned to him and smiled.

"Is this the surprise?" I asked him.

Spot nodded. "Yeah. Too much?"

I shook my head. "No! Not at all! It's thrilling," I admitted. "So, what's 'the usual'?"

Spot grinned. "That would ruin _all_ of the surprise. Now come on, let's dance!" He pulled me towards the dancing couples, the band now playing a lively tune on their fiddles, something with a very Irish feel to it. Everyone was dancing around us and it ws very hard not to feel like you were getting sucked into it. They were laughing and shouting and enjoying themselves.

"Spot, I can't dance," I told him, blushing.

"Neither can I!" he laughed and we danced. It was possibly the most hideous dance I'd ever been a part of, but we were both laughing and I'd never had more fun with him in my life.

We danced for a long while until he pulled me off to the side. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I sat down and my feet started aching. I found out that the 'surprise' was pasta, which looked very yummy. We ate and chatted and I smiled at the taste of pasta and garlic on my tongue.

After a while, we shuffled out and I let out a small yawn when my face hit the cool night air. I blushed when Spot turned to look at me curiously, probably wondering why I had yawned.

"Tired?" he questioned and I shrugged.

"Not really," I said softly, leaning against his arm.

"Liar." He smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. "Why don't ya stay in Brooklyn tonight? I can take ya back tomorrow after sellin'. Swear."

I sighed. "Fine. Let's go then." There really was no way of getting out of this, I knew that. Not that I wanted to. I wanted to be with Spot for the night. It would be good for my heart.

"Good," he said, satisfaction in his voice.

We were quiet for a long moment, just walking in silence, the night air refreshing from the stuffy Irish pub we'd come out of.

"Spot, can I ask ya something?" I murmured after a moment.

"Sure can, love."

"Why didja do this tonight?" I asked. "I mean, really. Without the ego trip."

Spot looked down at me and I picked my head up to look at him. He looked confused.

"What're ya talkin' about, Angel?"

I straightened up considerably, frowning. "You don't know what today is? Really?" I asked, shocked.

"…Friday?"

I blinked a few times, speechless. How could he not know this? Well, all right, yes. Spot Conlon was a boy. Boys didn't keep track of things like this, but Spot Conlon was not just another boy. He was… my best friend. My lover. My everything.

Wasn't I all those things to him? Why did he not remember this?

"Liss, say something. You're scarin' me," he said nervously.

Blinking in shock, I shook my head, frowning. "Nothing. I was… being silly, that's all. Forget I said anything."

"Ya sure?"

"Mhm."

I was so angry with him. I wanted to sock him in the gut, I did. But I couldn't be angry with him. Obviously one month together didn't matter all that much to him. Damn ego trips and all. I leaned against his arm, too shocked to even cry about it.

How sad.

I didn't even remember getting back to the Lodging House or anything. I must have been dead tired, because the next thing I remembered was waking up against Spot's side, his arm tucked around my waist and his chest rising and falling slowly with sleep. It all came rushing back to me.

_He didn't remember._

* * *

**Sad chapter. But it's important. This marks the beginning of the end, my friends. :( Poor Spot and Angel. But luckily... your characters are all in my next chapter! Yippee!**

**Nope. Still not mine. 'Cept for my Spot!muse. He's _all_ mine. -snuggle- OH, and all the other characters in this. Teehee.**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked/Sara**


	6. of new friends and whores

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Five**

Dressed in some of Spot's old clothes, I shuffled to the washroom and splashed water on my face, sighing softly. I wished I didn't spend the night here, because I didn't want to take Spot's clothes. I felt bad for doing it. But I couldn't very well sell in a dress. Not a good idea.

I wiped my face dry and then shuffled back into Spot's room, flopping down on my bunk with a sigh. It still smelled like Spot and I tried not to be obvious about snuggling into it. I was still a little disappointed from the night before, but I couldn't let that get to me. He was a boy, and I would just have to be okay with that.

"Mornin', beautiful," he said as he strolled in. I looked up, watching him come over to me. He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned down to kiss my cheek. I yawned in response to him and smiled when he laughed.

"Heya," I responded and then sat up, pulling some borrowed shoes on and then lacing them up tightly.

"I'm glad ya stayed last night, Alyssa."

His voice was quiet and it surprised me. Any and all bitter feelings I had toward that kid was gone in only seven words. Damn my soft spot for him!

I turned back to look at him but he got up and put his cap on, grabbing his cane that he'd left leaning against the wall. He slid it into the loop of his suspenders and then went for the door.

"Ya comin'?" He tossed the words over his shoulder and left the room, leaving me gaping like a fish.

_What the hell?_

I stood up and hurried after him, leaving my dress in his room. I had nowhere else to put it. I trotted down the steps and out into the morning sun, frowning as a nasally voice killed everything that was good and holy in my brain.

"Spotty!"

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, glaring at Desiree as she fluttered towards us. Silver covered a laugh by coughing and rested his arm on my shoulder. Spot just scowled in her general direction.

"I came just like you said, Spotty! I can't wait to learn how to be a newsie!" she bubbled and I nearly fell over.

"Excuse me. _What_?" I exclaimed. Okay, I really didn't want to play the role of jealous girlfriend, but _seriously_.

Desiree directed her gaze to me. "Spotty didn't tell you?" she asked innocently but that thread of gloating was there. _I can't believe Spotty doesn't tell you _everything_,_ she should have said. It made my blood boil. "I'm joining the newsies!"

I glared at her. "Ya make more workin' at a whorehouse."

"Now, now, Angel. That's no way to talk to a fellow comrade," she said sweetly and I resisted the urge to rip out her tongue.

I stepped up to her, our noses inches apart, and glared hard at her. "You will _never_ be my comrade," I informed her coldly.

Flinching, I felt someone grip me around the waist, tugging me back gently. Anyone else, I would have decked. Without any question. Without looking. Without caring. But it was Spot, and I let it go.

For now.

"Come on, Angel," he said gently and I allowed myself to be pulled away as he addressed his best friend. "Silver, teach the girl how to sell. If she ain't good enough, then she can't be no newsie."

I walked angrily beside Spot, feeling fire in my belly. I was so worked up and Spot was just walking along, calm as a clam. I was so pissed.

"Gotta light?" I asked gruffly.

"Ya ain't smokin'," he informed me, calmly.

"The hell I'm not!" I hissed, irritated. "Damn it, Spot, why can't ya just let me do what I want?"

"Ain't gonna solve nothin', Angel, and ya know it. Calm down. You're gonna make a scene," he said, as if speaking to a child. He stopped me by gripping my arm and pushed me gently to sit on the curb. "Now take a deep breath and _calm down_."

I put my head between my legs and breathed deeply, feeling my blood slowly starting to settle back in my veins. I frowned, my world tipping right side up slowly as I regained my bearings.

"Why didn't you tell me she was becoming one of your newsies?" I asked softly, keeping my head between my legs, breathing slowly.

"She ain't becoming one of my newsies, Angel," he said quietly but I continued as if I hadn't even heard him.

I lifted my head and stared at him. "Does she sleep in your bed, too, Spot? Do ya kiss her when she gets up, too?" I stood up, fuming quietly. "Didn't take ya long to replace me, didja Conlon?"

He frowned and gripped my elbow before I was able to pass him. "Is that why you're mad? Because you think Desiree is still sweet on me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be naïve, Spot. Anyone with eyes could see it. Of course she's still sweet on you. _Half of damn New York is sweet on you_!"

"Angel," he said patiently, like he was trying to calm a child.

I scoffed at him, pulled my arm away and started walking towards the distribution yard. He caught up to me easily and wheeled me back around.

"Lissa O'Rourke, you listen to me," he enunciated. "You'se the other girl I ever let sleep in me bed. Ever. I know I got this reputation but I would never _ever_ cheat on ya. Can't believe you'd even consider the idea."

I frowned at him, not letting down my pride even though now I felt bad for jumping the gun with him.

"I still don't want her to be a newsie," I said quietly.

"She ain't becomin' a newsie," he repeated and I was starting to realize how juvenile I must have sounded. "Honestly, I don't know how good she's gonna do today. I don't got much faith in that," he admitted.

I sighed and crossed my arms, silent this time. I was still pretty steamed at him, because of this new development and the fact that he _forgot our anniversary last night_. I looked up when I heard the pattering of feet hitting cobblestones and saw a small girl with very red hair and red-rimmed green eyes. Much darker green than mine.

"Rainy Days, what's goin' on, kid? Somebody mess with ya again?" Spot asked as she caught up to us. She couldn't have been more than ten years old, in her tattered dress and her freckled face. She was cute, if not for her tears.

"No, Spot," she said, speaking in a clear voice that surprised me. She was a child, but she spoke very maturely. "I was just coming to ask if I should go and watch Desiree and Silver. Sneak won't let me. Says it's his job, not mine."

Spot nodded thoughtfully. "Go tell Sneak we'll talk later about him orderin' ya around. And 'a course ya can follow 'em. Make sure Silv don't punch the girl in the face."

Rain nodded dutifully. "So's this Angel, Spot?" she asked him and peered up at me with her green eyes.

"Sure is, kid," Spot smirked proudly at me and I bent down, spitting in my hand.

"Nice to meet ya, Rain," I told her and she spit in her own and I clasped her tiny baby hand in mine.

"Rain! God, there you are!" a girl said, sounding relieved. "I leave you for five minutes while I get us papes and you run off!"

"Don't worry 'bout it, Fire. She ain't doin' nothin' wrong," Spot told the red-headed girl, slinging an arm around my shoulders, probably out of habit.

Fire looked almost identical to Rain, only her eyes were blue. More so than Spot's.

"So this must be the illustrious Angel O'Rourke," Fire said, sounding impressed, as she looked at me. "I'm Fire. Nice to know ya."

"I'm Angel." We spit shook as well.

"The O'Shea's is me newest recruits. Rain's me new birdie and a damn good one, Fire keeps all the boys on the edge and Smooth's tough as hell and gets outta a fight without a scratch on 'im."

"Who's Smooth?" I asked, confused.

Fire grinned. "He's me twin. He all ready left for Sheepshead with Race. You can meet him when ya get back to Brooklyn."

I nodded and smiled. She hadn't judged me for being with Spot, and she hadn't jumped to conclusions about us. I liked her immensely all ready.

"So do you guys actually _have_ a girls' lodging house?" I looked at Spot, since he'd know the answer to that.

"Yeah, but the girls never use it. They tough it out with us. That's why there ain't many girls here. Fire's the only one that can hand shit back to me boys when they hand it to her." I could hear the pride in his voice.

Spot respected Fire because she was tough and put up with his boys, who were probably pretty ruthless with her. It made me smile. I wondered how far you had to go to impress Spot Conlon. I had it too easy, being his girl. It made me wonder if I would be tough enough to impress him, if not for our prior relationship with each other.

"Well, I'd love to stand here and have ya stroke my ego, Conlon, but I got to sell. Come on, Rain. It was nice to meetcha, Angel!" Fire waved and then they were gone.

Spot and I went to the distribution yard together and then went our separate ways as usual. I decided I would try my hand at Prospect Park, since I hadn't been in a while. I walked along Ocean Avenue, shouting out my headlines, trying to look weak and pitiful. I'd gotten very good at that, since two weeks ago I had a nasty bruise on my jaw to show off for sympathy. I usually told them my daddy beat me if I didn't sell enough papers. That got lots of rich folks to buy from me.

After I'd sold all my papers, I made my way towards the mouth of the Brooklyn Bridge, where the king himself was waiting and leaning against the railing. I smiled when he looked up and noticed me.

"Top o' the mornin', Your Highness." I beamed when he leaned down, capturing my mouth in a kiss.

"It ain't the mornin' no more, doll." He smiled at me and it made me blush. "Ya ready to go, then?"

I nodded and he took my hand. We walked quietly across the bridge and I wondered what made him change his mind about having to take me back to Manhattan. So I decided to ask.

"So why are you so nice about taking me back to Manhattan?" I asked him, peeking at him from the corner of my eyes.

"Figured it'd be easier for ya if I didn't make a big deal of it," he said simply.

I blinked. "Wow, that's so… selfless of you."

"I ain't heartless, Angel, just tough." He smiled at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, of course. You're very tough."

He smirked but stayed quiet, which surprised me. Spot Conlon never stayed quiet about anything.

We walked in comfortable silence to Tibby's, where I was to be handed off, as per usual. I smiled as a warm kiss was pressed to my mouth and was returned with a smile and light blue eyes.

_"A bheith sábháilte,"_ he whispered against my ear, the natural Irish of his voice making my mouth water in the worst way.

_"Beidh mé,"_ I whispered back, sighing as he pressed a kiss to my forehead and then he was gone.

I headed into Tibby's with a smile, greeted by the ever-friendly Manhattaners. I looked around the crowd of newsies, looking for Pirate, when I noticed one girl I hadn't expected to see there.

"Piper!" I shouted in surprise, causing her to look up and grin.

She leapt from her table and barreled towards me and we hugged like long-lost sisters, giggling and smiling at each other. I felt like such a little girl, acting so silly with her.

"Whaddya say, Pip?" I leaned back, smiling at her. "I thought you were stayin' in Queens!"

Another thing I did after getting back together with Spot was talk to Felicity often, because Queens and Brooklyn were always getting together for poker games or just to hang out on the docks or whatnot. I got to know her newsies real well, and Piper was one of them.

Piper's hazelnut brown eyes twinkled happily. "Nope. Patch thought it was a good idea to bring all the girls from Queens here, since the Lodgin' House is all finished. He doesn't want us girls gettin' in trouble with the Bulls."

"All the girls?" I was confused. I didn't know there were any more than her and Fee.

Piper nodded and motioned to two girls from the booth she'd been sitting in. One was sitting with Mush and one had been sitting by Blink. They both came forward when Piper motioned them over.

"Angel, this here is Iz. Iz, this is the Queen of Brooklyn," Piper introduced. Iz was pretty. She was short, but the baggy clothes didn't hide her femininity. She had mousy brown hair under a dark cap and green eyes. They were prettier than mine.

We spit-shook in greeting and she smiled at me.

"And this is Charlie. Ain't she a peach?" Piper snickered as Charlie did a little jig that made me smile. They both looked around Piper's age, but they were sweet.

Charlie's hair was tucked up under her cap but it looked red, and she also had green eyes that seemed to hold a perpetual state of amusement. I could see why Mush was fond of her. Mush was a silly one himself.

Charlie and I spit-shook as well and we were finally all introduced. Piper decided that I would come with the trio of them after lunch to sell the afternoon edition, even though I would be selling with them. Piper just wanted to catch up and talk. We hadn't seen each other in a while.

We made small talk over lunch and I found myself thoroughly enjoying Charlie and Iz's company. Charlie was always cracking jokes and Iz was always chiding us if we swore too much. It was great fun.

We shuffled together to get papes and then Piper led us down the street to a selling spot she used to have when she lived in Manhattan. It was outside a building called Meadow Alley. Outside was a pretty girl with dark hair, feeding the pigeons around her feet and cooing to them in a language I didn't understand. She was easily very beautiful. She had a very mature face so I figured she was older than Piper, and possibly older than myself.

But she looked up when she heard us approaching and smiled shyly. _"Guten Morgen, Freunde," _she said in a strange language. I couldn't tell her accent. It was strange to my ears.

"Heya, Wendy," Piper smiled and the girl shot her a withering look at the name. "Ya don't mind if we sell here, do ya?"

The girl shook her head and watched the trio walk across the street to the other side, so they wouldn't bother her as they hawked headlines. I approached the bench nervously, knowing that she was shy.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked her. She looked up at me with her strange light green eyes and then shook her head. I sat down beside her and took a piece of bread, ripping an edge off and tossing it to the pigeons she was feeding.

"You're Irish, aren't you?" she asked suddenly, her strange accent coating her words. It was so odd to hear.

I nodded. "You can tell?"

The girl smiled. "Your eyes. They remind me of what I think Ireland looks like."

I blushed. "And what are you? Your accent is very strange."

"I could say the same about you," she said and I was awed by her wisdom. "But I am German."

"I hear it's very beautiful there," I confided in her, and that got a response. Her eyes lit up happily.

"Oh yes, it's very beautiful," she gushed and we laughed together.

I didn't feel very guilty now about wanting to stay in Manhattan. As long as I had these good friends, I would be okay.

…Right?

* * *

_A bheith sábháilte - Be safe._

_Beidh mé - I will_

_Guten Morgen, Freunde - good afternoon, friends._

**Iz belongs to Izabeal Finley, the greatest person on this site. Rain, Fire and Smooth belongs to ThePen23. Wendeline belongs to DramaLo. And Charlie belongs to ThePenThatPaintedTheSun. -heart-**

**Hope I'se got all your characters right. Just let me know if I didn't.**

**Nope. Still not mine. 'Cept for my Spot!muse. He's _all_ mine. -snuggle- OH, and all the other characters in this. Teehee.**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked/Sara**


	7. of rumors and suspicions

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Six**

At dinner that night, Jack called everyone's attention as we were all finishing up dinner. I was sitting at a booth with Charlie, Iz, Pirate, and Piper, chatting and laughing with them.

"As ya all know, we have a new girls' lodging house and I can't be there, so I'se appointed a leader for the girls," Jack informed us all. "And I'se decided that Pirate will be the leader, since she's been captain. Figured she'd be the best."

The boys cheered and us girls gave her pats on the back. She grinned sheepishly, which was funny. Pirate never got embarrassed by anything. After a while, I excused myself and headed out of Tibby's. Walking around Manhattan while it was steadily growing dark was becoming increasingly more fun each time I did it. The night air on my face felt good, after being out in the hot New York sun all morning and afternoon, selling newspaper after newspaper to sucker after sucker.

I'd left my hat in the Lodging House, after taking it off once all my papers were sold. It really wasn't smart to walk around the city without your hat up if you were dressed like a boy. I'd heard stories of girls getting thrown into the Refuge for not dressing like girls. It was a stupid reason, yes, but the bulls made any excuse they could to arrest people.

More money for them.

So, I was sorry I'd left my hat. I couldn't afford to be in jail. I was too soft for my own good. I wouldn't last two hours in jail. They'd eat me alive. But I digress.

I was thinking as I was walking, naturally, with my hands shoved in my pockets. I liked wearing boy's clothes. You couldn't put your hands in your pockets wearing petticoats and a corset, now could you?

"How goes it, dollface?"

I whirled around, fists out, ready for a fight, until Silver stepped out of the shadows of a nearby alley. Shocked, my hands dropped.

"What are you doing here?" was my clever response to seeing him.

"Nice to see you'se, too, Angel."

I blushed. "Ah… what I mean to say is: don't you have to be in Brooklyn?"

Silver crossed his arms and smiled at me. "Like I'se said."

I laughed. "Let me try again," I offered. "I'm so glad you're here, Silver!" I threw my arms around his neck and smiled at him.

"Better," he approved. "Next time, say it like you means it."

We hooked arms and began walking.

"So brings you to this neck of the woods?" I asked him. "Because I don't believe you came _just_ because you missed me."

Silver nodded. "You're right. I didn't come just because I missed ya. I came to talk to ya about Desiree."

I wrinkled my nose. "Lovely. Let's talk about _her_."

"Well, it's like this, Angelface," Silver said nervously. "Desiree did… better than I'se figured she would."

I frowned. "How much better?"

"She bought thoity papes and sold forty of 'em by lunch."

"Damnit," I muttered.

Silver produced a cigarette and lit it, handing it off to me. I inhaled the nicotine gratefully, sighing. I licked my lips and glared at the street as we walked together along the sidewalk.

"Angel, say somethin'," Silver said nervously.

I sighed again. "If Spot says she can join the Brooklyn boys, then she joins," I said simply, frowning.

"That's it? No bitchy Irish-ness in ya? At all?" Silver elbowed me slightly and I looked up at him.

"Not even I can argue with Spot, Silv. What he says is law. He is king after all." I inhaled more smoke.

"Yeah, but I thought at least you'd punch her in the face, regardless of what Conlon's gotta say."

I smiled. Silver was such a boy.

"So I'll bet she's all over him, yeah?" I glanced over at him.

"Actually, she's not," Silver said, looking at me. "She hasn't said five words to the guy at all. And I've had Sneak and Rain trail her when she wasn't with me."

I snorted. Wow, I was so unladylike.

"That ain't gonna last."

"I dunno, doll." Silver shrugged. "She says she's over him. Now that you'se two is together."

I rolled my eyes. Silver seemed very convinced that Desiree was being truthful. But Silver was… a boy, a child. He was still young, regardless of how long he'd been on the streets. Some things you didn't learn until they happened to you, no matter how street smart you were. But Desiree was obviously very smart to con Silver into believing her little lie.

After a while, I said goodbye to Silver and headed back to the girls' lodging house, which was just down the block from Duane Street. Silver was heading back to Brooklyn to report to Spot that I was doing good. I wondered for a moment if Spot had birds follow me when I left him. Before I went inside, I looked around me, wondering where they were hiding.

I stepped inside, signed my name in curly, lady letters that I couldn't shake for the life of me, and walked up the steps. The girls' lodging house was roomy, probably because there weren't many of us here. But I had to admit that I missed the squeaky floor boards and they catcalls from the boys down the road. It felt odd to be here without them.

I missed them.

"Hey, Angel!" Piper called when I finally made it up the steps. I waved at her, pulling my boots off before I took a seat in the circle. Iz, Charlie, Pirate and Pip were all sitting in the middle of the room, talking apparently, when I'd come inside. Well, pretty much. Charlie was counting her coins from selling that day, I was sure, and Iz was braiding her hair for bed.

"Hey, guys. Whaddya say?" I asked, crossing my legs under me Indian style.

"We're plannin' on playin' craps tomorrow after sellin'," Pip informed me, smiling sweetly. "Care to join us in a friendly game?"

I smiled. Piper was just as bad a gambler as Racetrack was. I was so surprised that they weren't anything more than friends.

"Sure, girls. I'll meet you in the Square tomorrow after sellin'."

The next morning passed like clockwork. I sold papes, improvising headlines as usual, and then headed back towards the Square when I was finished. I waited with Iz there for Pirate, Charlie and Piper to arrive and I re-braided her hair for her, since I was a former sophisticated girl and Iz was convinced I could braid properly.

Which, was true, but I could braid only because Sean's mother had taught me on his little sister how to braid hair. I smiled silently at the thought of Sean's family. I wondered what they were doing, if they'd followed us after we'd left, and I wondered if they'd be proud of Sean to know what he was doing now.

Once the three girls had arrived, Pip produced her dice and, after Charlie deemed them unloaded, we began to play, laughing loudly and having a grand old time, until Pirate nudged Pip and I at the same time, jerking her chin the direction of an approaching police officer.

"Jesus," Pip muttered and gathered her dice in her hand, stuffing them into her pocket.

"Fine day, isn't it, ladies?" the officer said, stopping in front of us.

Five pairs of innocent eyes stared up at him.

"It's very lovely, sir," Pirate spoke, her accent making her words sound even more innocent than our dirty faces did. "How do you do?"

"I do well, dear, thank you," the officer said. "But are you ladies aware that it is illegal to play craps in the street?"

Piper shook her head, blinking with wide eyes. "Not at all, sir. We had no idea. We're so very sorry."

"Yes, well," the officer said, straightening up. "See to it that it does not happen again, or else I will have to escort the lot of you to the refuge. Young ladies such as you should not lower yourselves to such standards."

"You're terribly right, sir. It will not happen again," Pip said, her earnest seeping from her mouth. It almost made me laugh.

"Excellent. Good day, young ladies," he said, doffing his cap before lumbering off down the road.

We waited until he was out of earshot and then we all burst into fits of giggles, leaning against each other and laughing so loudly that we were beginning to make a spectacle of ourselves. Charlie jumped up and did impressions of the officer, accompanied by a most outrageous voice, and it only sent us into more fits of laughter until we were sure our sides would simply burst.

Leaning against the wrought iron fence, we instead decided to toss rocks across the way, all sitting in a line against the fence.

"You must tell us about Spot, Angel," Pip said, flicking a rock over the toe of her shoe.

"Yes, you have to!" Charlie added. "What's it like being his girl? Is it just marvelous?"

I nodded. "It is actually, yes," I admitted. "It's kinda funny, really. Almost every girl wants him and he picked me. Ain't that just the funniest?"

"But it's so sweet!" Iz smiled at me. "Spot Conlon is so incredibly dreamy. You are so lucky, Angel."

I blushed. "He is rather handsome, isn't he?"

We giggled amongst ourselves for a bit until Izzy looked up and frowned. I don't think I've ever seen the girl frown in my life. It was so out of place on her face. Her mouth looked much better smiling.

"She will rise from the grave, clothed in rags," she said, probably quoting a half-penny novel she'd read but I couldn't recall from which one.

Four pairs of eyes turned and four mouths frowned simultaneously. My girl friends knew all about Desiree and her ilk. Pip had filled them in on most the things that had gone on, and I told them the rest. Needless to say, my three new friends were not impressed by the twit that was walking out way.

"She looks like she's goin' to somethin'," Charlie added loudly, so the twit could hear.

"Round one is about to commence. On guard," Pirate agreed.

"Do ya need somethin', whore? Ya real bad for business," Pip told her as she approached us. And she was right.

Having a two-bit brothel whore hang around us was terrible for the job. Well, having Wendy around wasn't bad for us, though. Wendy was high class and high maintenance. I didn't even consider her in the same profession as Desiree, even though, technically, she was.

It just didn't seem like it. Wendy was nothing like Desiree.

"Not entirely," Desiree said, answering Pip's question. "I just wanted to come and tell Angel myself that I'm not interested in Spot any longer. So don't worry."

"I wasn't worried," I informed her and crossed my arms. "So why don't you like him anymore, _Des_? Because he's taken, or because you finally realized that he doesn't want you?"

"No," she said simply, and it annoyed me. "He's just... not my type."

Why wasn't she fighting me and taunting me like she usually did? It made me wonder. But I wasn't convinced that Desiree didn't want Spot anymore. It was such a terrible lie.

"Didn't know whores had a type," Charlie commented testily. I glanced at her. She was getting seriously irate. I wondered if she was going to get up and punch Desiree. Honestly, she looked about ready to.

"They do," Izzy told her and directed her glare to Desiree. "Men with money."

"Anyhow," Desiree said airily, as if my friends hadn't just completely defended my ass in front of her. "I just thought you should know."

I snorted slightly. "Glad you dropped by."

She smiled like we were old friends and then walked off down the street, probably back to her damn brothel for the day.

"Please tell me you don't believe a word of that shit," Izzy said and it surprised me. I'd never heard her swear before.

I smiled wryly. "Not on her life. But I do think I'm going to pay Spot a visit in a few days. I want to see how long this thing lasts."

"Well," Pip said and then stood up. "I don't know about you'se guys, but being a bitch makes me really hungry. And I'm itching to play cards. Let's go to Tibby's."

And so we did, but I kept quiet. I couldn't help fearing that Spot would be sucked in Desiree's deception. I wasn't sure what I would do if he had.

* * *

**-hides from the angry kids with no money-**

**Okay, I know this is seriously late as hell, but I've been working nonstop with no time to write PLUS having writers block... **

**Anyways, forgive me!**

**All characters that aren't mine belong to their owners. I just was allowed to play with them. (: Yell at me if I've gotten them wrong.**

**Funfact: Playing caps on the street was actually illegal. If you got caught, you'd either get a stern talking-to or a night in jail. :)**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked/Sara**


	8. of surprises and weirdness

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Seven **

I let things ride for three days, figuring Friday was an excellent day to go and see Spot. I figured I'd stay in Brooklyn for the weekend and go back to Manhattan after selling on Monday.

It was a good plan. A sound plan.

But I was still steaming incredibly from the goings on with Desiree and it spilled over into my attitude towards my friends. I was constantly apologizing for being a bitch to them. It wasn't their fault that my arch nemesis was obviously trying very hard to steal away my boyfriend. I wouldn't stand for it.

I sold my papers in record time for me, and hightailed it to Brooklyn, after saying a quick goodbye to my friends. I jogged across the bridge and onto Poplar Street, using the few minutes that I had to think.

"Queenie's back!" Sneak cried in delight as I shuffled along the docks. I smiled and gave him a quick hug, without breaking stride.

I passed Silver on my way to the throne room, who tipped his hat at me. I gave him a rude hand gesture and then climbed up to the rafter throne, tugging my hat off and smiling. The afternoon sun felt nice on my face.

It felt really good to be back in Brooklyn. It felt like home. And then, I waited. I didn't mind all that much. I lounged back and surveyed the Brooklynites who were lounging around themselves. It must have been too early to start swimming, or perhaps the water was a little too cold right now.

I liked the Brooklyn boys. They were as loyal as their king, really, and they fought until they couldn't anymore. I knew that, and I was proud of the fact that Spot had gotten to this place. Honestly, I was hideously proud of him, no matter what his father wanted from him.

I wasn't sure how long I waited for him, but I smiled slightly when I saw the king arriving, looking as fierce as ever, cane in hand, his face a blank mask, and his eyes cold and ice colored. The newsies who were on his good side greeted him jovially and some of the others stayed quiet. It was funny how some of them were good with him and the others were just terrified of him.

He greeted them the same, tipping his hat but saying nothing. His face remained firmly cold and in place.

I wondered how early it was, though. It was unlike him to be back so soon. Spot was either off his game, or didn't buy too many papes that morning.

Either way, it was odd.

"Conlon, 'bout time ya showed up," Silver said, his own greeting. Silver was possibly the only newsie in New York who actually got to talk to Spot Conlon the way he did. Anyone else would've gotten soaked.

On the spot.

No questions asked.

But not Silver. Nope. Silver was allowed to be a bastard and all Spot would do was give him a shove and grin.

"No kiddin'," Spot agreed and the two friends spit-shook in greeting. "Been thinkin' about payin' Angel a visit."

"She beat ya to it."

I took this as my cue and I slid to the ground, taking a few steps since I still was terrible at jumping down from the throne. Not everyone could land so sinuously like Spot Conlon.

I shuffled across the space between us, shoving my hands in my pockets after replacing my cap on top of my head.

"Nice of you to join us, doll," Silver said and I gave him a dirty look.

"So, didja really miss me that much?" Spot asked, giving me his trademark smug-ass smirk.

"Nope." I smiled. "I came here to see Silver."

"Damn straight," Silver readily agreed and pulled me to his side, giving my cheek a giant kiss.

I laughed and blushed. Silver was much too good to me.

"Well, as long as ya can share, Silv, we ain't gonna have no problems," Spot said, playing his little game without any malice in his tone.

Silver nodded. "Good. You can have her now, Conlon. She's mine tonight, though," he grinned and then shoved me towards Spot.

I smiled and took his hand, leading him towards the Lodging House. I felt his whole body relax a little more when my hand slipped inside his. I wondered if I made him feel less tense now that I was here.

"I've missed ya, Angel," he said softly, when we were far enough away from his newsies.

I smiled slightly. "I've missed you, too."

He squeezed my hand and I followed him up the stairs of the Brooklyn Lodging House. Once we reached his room, he kicked the door shut and I found myself against the wall with his mouth on mine.

I had no problem with that, though, but it did actually surprise the hell out of me.

I forgot why I came, really. All I cared about no was this warm body and the warm hands on my waist which was effectively diverting my attention from whatever it was that I came here to discuss with him.

His arms came around my waist and his mouth left mine. He kissed me gently on the cheek and I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. His chin sat atop my head. It felt so right.

"_Ná fág arís_," he murmured gently into my hair and I sighed. How I wished I didn't have to leave.

"_Caithfidh mé, sa deireadh_," I whispered back, looking up when he lifted his head to look at me.

We stared at each other for a long time before he led me over to his cot, and we sat down together. I leaned my head against his shoulder and his arm curled around my waist, drawing me into him.

"What's 'a mattah, Angel?" he murmured. "Why'd ya come?"

I frowned and closed my eyes. "Ya know I don't like her, Spot. Why let her stay here?"

He sighed and I felt it.

"I don't live to torture ya, Angel, but this is somethin' I gotta do," he said gently. "But she ain't me newsie."

I lifted my head and stared at him. "What?"

Spot frowned and looked away, taking his arm from around my middle. I sat up and frowned.

"What aren't you tellin' me, Sean?" I pressed. I didn't like secrets. Secrets were terrible things.

"She's been... spying on Johnny for me," he said reluctantly. "She's got an in there. Johnny likes her, I guess. So he don't s'pect nothin'."

"You mean… like a birdie?" I asked.

The birds weren't 'low class' in Brooklyn hierarchy, but they weren't too high up on the list, that's for sure. I wondered if Desiree knew that.

"Sorta. She only spies on him and then brings back the information to me. So yeah, guess she is." Spot looked over at me, frowning. "Word is that he's plannin' something. Didn't wanna scare ya, so I didn't tell ya. I've had a bird watch ya every single second after I found out."

I chewed my lip and looked away. I felt a wave of anger sweep over me. He had his birds watch me? What was I, _seven_? I didn't need policed. I balled my fists in my lap and glared at the floor. He noticed it, and placed a hand over my fists.

"I know ya don't like me lording over ya, but I gotta keep ya safe, Angel. I have to. I promised me dad I would," he said gently.

I'd never heard him use this tone with me. It was one you'd use to talk to a snarling dog when you wanted him to calm down and trust you.

I blinked. That got to me. "You promised your father you'd keep me safe?" I smiled a little up at him. "We were children."

He looked away, smiling wistfully. "Yeah, I know that. But I always hear me dad sayin' to me: 'Sean Albert Conlon, you look aftah that girl o' yours. Make sure she's healthy and happy and make sure nothin' bad ever happens to 'er again. You understand me, boy?'"

I laughed. "He called you by your full name _and_ called you 'boy'? He must've been serious," I teased him and snuggled up close against him again when he laughed as well.

"He was," Spot agreed. "But I'm going to listen to him. No matter what, I _am_ gonna keep you safe, Liss. Even if it means I gotta keep a bird on your trail."

I nodded slightly. I still didn't like that, but I made sense now. As long as I didn't see the birds, I would be all right. I knew they were there, but I wouldn't be looking over my shoulder for them at every turn. I hated feeling jumpy on the street. It was too much like back at home in Ireland, when I was terrified to get out of bed because I didn't want to be cornered by my handsy father who, somehow, always knew when I was awake.

"Spot?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think Johnny would kill me?"

He looked down at me, probably surprised, but I didn't return his gaze. It was possibly the only thing that made me nervous. I didn't really want to die.

"Nah, don't worry, Angel. Johnny's too much of a coward," Spot said, a smile in his voice.

"I ain't worried," I grumbled. "Just… not happy."

"I know Desiree ain't the person ya woulda picked for this job," he said, leaning down to kiss my shoulder. "Hell, she ain't me favorite either, but I need her to know what Johnny's doin'. Can't have ya gettin' hurt over a fight between me and him."

I wanted to ask him what they were fighting about. It must have been a big deal. Spot was very serious about whatever it was that Johnny was planning to have to have the birds trailing my every move. I figured, though, it probably wasn't any of my business. I'd ask when it seemed important to know.

"I just thought I'd ask you myself, since I don't want her all over you and all that," I said quietly, embarrassed.

"Are ya jealous, Angel?"

I looked up at him and glared playfully at his self-satisfied smirk. Oh, he was such a bastard.

"No," I said seriously. "Nothing she has is worth me being envious of."

He laughed and gathered me in close, kissing the part in my hair. _Well, at least _he's_ happy, _I thought dryly.

"Well, Angel, Queens is comin' tonight to play poker," he informed me. "How long were ya plannin' on stayin'?"

I snuggled into him gladly. "Oh, I dunno. Probably leave on Monday after sellin'."

"Good." He smiled at me. "'Cause tomorrow there's some shindig at Medda's. We should go together."

"Are ya askin' me on a date, Conlon?" I teased him.

"Like hell I am," he snapped playfully. "Why? Do ya want it to be a date?" he murmured against my ear.

I shrugged. "I guess we'll find out, won't we?"

He gave me a playful shove. "Damn minx!"

We decided to go to lunch after that, at Mary's Deli, which was beginning to become my favorite place. Nobody else went with us there; it was always just me and him. I wasn't sure it that was silly of me or not.

He slid his hand into mine and I suddenly felt a little foolish. He'd never held my hand before and it seemed kind of odd. I looked around at the distinguished couples that passed up and wondered.

"Spot, do you ever wonder what it would be like to be rich?" I asked him. He looked over at me, brow knotting together, probably because I'd pulled him from his own thoughts.

"Why?" was all he asked.

"Well, I was just wondering, since your father told you to make a good life for us. You know?"

Something like hurt flashed across his face but it was fleeting and gone when I blinked. It was surprising.

"Ya don't think this is a good life?" he asked so quietly I almost missed it.

I shook my head, frowning. "You misunderstand me, Sean. I just… wanted to know if you ever thought about it."

He looked away, possibly thinking but he was hideously quiet. It frightened me. Had I insulted him?

"Of course I thought about it," he said finally. "But I can't just drop everything with me boys, Angel." He pressed his lips together and I was sorry I'd opened my mouth. "Kinda thought this life was good enough for ya."

I stopped dead in my tracks, making him stop since his hand was laced with mine. He looked down at me with questions in his eyes.

"This life is the best I've ever known, Sean Conlon," I said quietly. "I don't need fancy clothes or hot food every day of my life."

"Then what _do_ ya need, Lissa? Somethin' I can't give ya, I'm sure," he said, removing his hand from mine to take off his cap and run his fingers through his hair, exasperated.

I put my hands on my hips and stared up at him. "I need safety."

"Oh, yeah? And do ya got _that _from me?" His eyes flashed quietly.

I didn't flinch under his glare. I was not going to be intimidated.

"Yes," I said boldly. "I do have that from you."

His shoulders dropped a little and the ice was gone from his eyes. He looked away from me, frowning like he usually did.

"My father made me promise that I'd protect you at all costs," he said quietly. "And I will protect you, Alyssa. I can't let my father down."

"You have protected me," I encouraged quietly. "I've never felt so safe in my life, Sean."

"But you want somethin' I can't give ya. Like money and a big house and all."

I frowned, too. "I only want you."

He smiled but it didn't touch his eyes. He bent down to kiss my forehead and I followed quietly after him when he started walking again, back to the docks. I left him alone after that, preferring to throw stones into the river with Fire. We talked and got to know each other better, which was nice. And I learned I would meet her brother that night when Queens came to play, since he'd be back from the tracks with Race by then.

I admired Fire, to be perfectly honest. She was fiercely independent and Spot was right. She handed shit right back to the dirty-mouthed Brooklyn boys. One boy stuck his foot out to trip her and she shoved him in the water, clothes and all. It was funny. I wished so desperately that I could be like her.

Queens came with whisky and cards and it was a full on party. I had to admit that I was disappointed when I didn't see Piper, Iz and Charlie, since they'd come from Queens originally and Pip was a Queens newsie at heart, but I stuffed it down.

I embraced Fee when she found me through the throng and Patch and Spot spit-shook in greeting. I played poker with Fee and some of the boys and won three hands but it quickly got old, so I retreated to an old couch with Silver, sharing cigarettes with him with my legs thrown over his lap.

Desiree kept her distance, talking and flirting with some of the boys from Queens. The entire time, she made sure to stay on the other side of the room from wherever Spot was. Most everyone would've thought this was a good sign. Desiree was keeping good on her word about being over Spot but I wasn't convinced.

I was practically suspicious by nature of some things and this was one of those things. Who was she fooling? I wondered. Definitely not me. If anything, her staying so far away from him only tipped me off more that she was definitely not 'over' him.

And I was determined to prove to everyone how big of a phony she really was.

* * *

_Ná fág arís - Don't leave again._

_Caithfidh mé, sa deireadh - I have to, eventually._

So this chapter is my apology for bringing the last chapter so late. xD. No real OCs this chapter, but you all know which OC is yours. Thanks for letting me borrow them and play with them. xD.

If you like it, then review, friends. I love you all.

CTB!

xx Wicked


	9. of protectiveness and fear

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Eight**

I sold papes with Silver the next day for a lot of the day, since both of us were fighting a hideous hang-over from poker and whisky the night before. We grabbed a quick lunch and then got back to selling. We were in no shape to sell papes, but it was the job so we trudged through it with less-than-admirable grace.

We sold until it was nearly time to go to Irving Hall and we had to wash up quick. I walked to Irving Hall at the front of the Brooklynite pack with Spot, which was hideously awkward. I liked blending in, but now I walked beside him in all his fierceness and I must've paled in comparison to him. But he held my hand tightly and unabashedly, and nobody dared tease him about it, lest they have their kneecaps removed via gold-tipped cane.

As per usual, Brooklyn made an entrance, being the last ones there so everyone turned around and watched us walk in. God, I was so embarrassed. Everyone greeted Spot and in the same breath greeted me. It was terribly odd that everyone knew me by name and was very nice to me now that I was Spot's girl. Before, only my good friends from Manhattan would clap me on the back and greet me by name. But, no.

Now every damn newsie in New York City was clamoring up to me, spit-shaking with me and called me _Angel_. God, it was so _creepy_.

Most girls would've preened under the attention, giggling and batting eyelashes at the boys who shook my hand and removed their caps in reverence like I was some kind of royalty. But I didn't feel the least bit flattered. If anything, I felt terribly out of place.

I didn't belong in the spotlight.

That's why I never liked dancing on stage alone. At least dancing with Diana gave people another girl to look at other than just me. Feeling eyes on me was possibly the creepiest feeling, other than being touched when you didn't want to be touched.

I squeezed Spot's hand and then left his side to surprise my friends who hdn't noticed me come in yet.

"Heya, girls!" I exclaimed and all four of them jumped up and hugged me at the same time.

"So how's Brooklyn?" Charlie beamed.

"Is he being dreamy as hell?" Iz wanted to know.

"Have you bed him yet?" Pip added.

I smiled and we group-hugged some more. It was kind of funny, and I'd missed them even though I only saw them yesterday afternoon. I sat down at the extra chair they had at their table and we gushed and talked some more until Pirate nudged my arm.

"Maybe you should go sit with His Highness. He's giving us the stink eye," she said, frowning slightly my way.

I rolled my eyes and excused myself politely. I fumed my way towards the King, who was sitting with Silver, Jack and Dave, holding a glass of whisky. He didn't look all that bothered that I was storming his way. I slammed my hands on the table, which made Dave jump slightly (which made me feel bad), and peered at him.

"I don't like being policed," I reminded him through grit teeth. I was trying to hold in my anger, since I never made scenes in public, but he was making it increasingly difficult.

"I know what's best, Angel. Don't go too far," he said with a note of finality. It made me so angry I could've spit.

Silver stood up and grabbed my arm. "Why don't we go dance, Angelface?" he pulled me towards the groups of dancing newsies and I made sure to give the King my own stink eye before allowing myself to be pulled away.

I was passed in between newsie after newsie, trying hard to loosen up and have fun but I was very aware of two blue eyes burning a hole in the back of my skull. It was pissing me off increasingly. So, when I found myself back in Silver's arms, I stopped dancing and looked up at him.

"Let's go smoke."

He seemed to understand what I meant without me having to tell him and we walked outside together. We leaned against the outside of the Hall and Silver handed me a cigarette from his breast pocket, before swearing quietly.

"No light?" I smiled.

"Nah," he shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Gonna see if Conlon's gotta light. You gonna be cool here for five seconds?"

I snorted. "I'll be fine when you light my cigarette. Now go find me one!"

Silver went back inside in search of Spot and I twirled the unlight cigarette in my fingers, pushing off the wall to walk towards the curb. I looked out at the darkened street and sighed.

"Well, well. Hello there, Angel."

Ice worked through my veins and I was suddenly very aware of his footsteps coming towards me. Oh, God. The darkness came rushing back into my brain, pushing down on it. Pushing harder and harder until-

He grabbed my arm and whirled me around to face him. I was instantly a stone statue. He let go of my arm and I inched around him, but each step I took backwards, he took forwards. It was a terrible dance until my back pressed against the brick and I stared up into his eyes.

He grinned quietly, like he could smell my terror. It was so unnerving. I couldn't breathe.

"I will have you eventually, Angel. Mark my words," Johnny informed me, his voice thick like he'd taken one too many drinks all ready.

"No, you won't," I said quietly. "Spot won't let you."

Johnny's mouth twisted in a sinister smile and I had to look away. He reminded me too much of my father. I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly through my nose.

"Do I frighten you, darling?"

My eyes snapped open and I glared up at him. "No. You do _not_ frighten me," I said defiantly, with a sudden burst of boldness.

Johnny smiled at me and curled a lock my hair around his finger and tugged on it. Hard. I bit my tongue to hold in the shriek of pain.

"Ah, so you've been hurt before." He smiled. "I will have to remember that for later."

I blinked a few times, my scalp throbbing from where he tugged my hair. He took the cigarette from me, lit it with a match and stuck it between my lips. I glared up at him and he smiled down at me like a man about to commit murder.

"Have a glorious night, Miss O'Rourke."

He brushed past Silver, who was coming back outside with a box of matches. I inhaled quietly and frowned, smoking quietly as Silver bombarded me with questions. _What'd he want? Did he scare you?_

"He lit my cigarette, and then told me to have a nice night," I murmured, frowning.

We didn't talk much after that, and I was glad. Talking about things always made them worse.

Spot didn't speak to me either on the way back to Brooklyn, but I felt him watching me from the corner of his eyes. I walked in between him and Silver. He took my hand halfway through the trek back home but his hand felt hot in mine, and I wondered if he was just really warm or if my hand was like ice.

I sat with the birds inside the Lodging House when we got home, tossing marbles with them and not paying attention. When I shuffled them off to bed, though, I noticed that all the Brooklynites were in for the night, except two. Frowning, I walked outside and found them on the sidewalk, but they weren't talking anymore.

Silver was on the ground, like he'd fallen over backwards, glaring hard daggers up at Spot, who looked unconcerned and wasn't staring back. He looked distantly over the dark streets, smoking a cigarette. That bothered me the most.

Spot Conlon didn't smoke.

"Did I miss somethin'?" I asked suspiciously.

A vein in Spot's jaw jumped but his mask betrayed nothing. "Nope, just discussin' some things, love. Ain't that right, Silv?" The way he said it made him sound like he was talking down to Silver. It was condescending.

Silver spit in Spot's general direction and I noticed that it was dark. I frowned.

"Yeah, _discussin_'," Silver muttered.

I was mad. Something went on here. "Well, if you two are quite finished 'discussin',' I'm ready for bed," I informed them testily. "Comin', _Spot_?"

"Yep, here I come," he said airily and tossed out his cigarette when he was finished with it. "We on the same page now, _Harris_?" he asked Silver, standing over him. I hated the way he looked down at Silver like that; like he was a bug to be squashed.

"We sure are, _Conlon_." Silver glared up at his leader but Spot was unfazed.

"Excellent. Let's go, Angel," Spot said and walked back inside.

I stalked after him and slammed the bedroom door shut when he breezed past me after I tried to get him to stop. I was so angry with him and I wasn't even certain what had happened.

"What did you do?" I demanded, watching him walk over to my cot and sit down. He leaned down and began unlacing his boots, smiling at me.

"Just what he said: we was discussin'."

"Bullshit, Conlon, and ya damn well know it," I spat and glared at him.

Spot grinned up at me like a fox. "He had to be taught a lesson, Angel."

I was horrified. Who was this man?

I stomped out of Spot's room and found Silver in the washroom, washing his face and spitting blood into the dirty sink. I crossed my arms.

"What did he do?" I asked. Well, demanded.

Silver smiled wryly up at me. "S'posed to keep ya safe, Angelface. I didn't. So he decked me in the mouth. Honestly, I was expectin' a thorough soakin'. He was pissed like a hornet at me, Angel."

"I know. He was _smoking_," I said, frowning. Spot only smoked when he was mad. "But he can't _hit_ you, Silver. It's not right."

"He can do whatever he damn well wants to and everybody knows it," Silver said angerily. "He soaks anybody he wants to and nobody says nothin' about it because he's the damn king. This is how it's always been, Angel. Don't worry. I'll get over it."

"I won't."

I crossed the length of the bunkroom once again and slid inside Spot's room, crossing my arms after I'd shut the door. I ignored the fact that he was shirtless as he came over to me, his hands surrounding my waist. His mouth found the apple of my cheek.

"Ya look like me standing there with that frown and that glare, Liss," he murmured sweetly against my ear, but I was in no mood for this now.

"You hit him," I accused.

Pause.

"Yep."

"Because he left me outside for two minutes."

Another pause.

"Yep."

I shoved him away and kicked the wall. "Oh, you are some piece of work, Spot Conlon! You can't just deck people whenever you feel like it. People don't' deserve to be hit."

"Then what should I do, Angel? Enlighten me," he growled. He wasn't glaring at me but it was dangerously close. I wasn't afraid of him, though.

"You can't smash your best friend in the face!" I exclaimed.

"He left you alone with Johnny," he informed me through grit teeth.

"He didn't know that," I defended.

"So? It still scared you."

"You can't prove that."

"You're shaking."

"I'm _pissed_."

"Is that all?"

I turned away from him, frowning. Of course I was still shaken up over the Johnny thing. Any girl in my situation would have been. Johnny was bigger, scarier and had the potential to do the exact same thing my father did to me. Of course I was terrified, but the didn't excuse Spot's actions towards his best friend. Not in my book.

"Still gives you no right to deck Silver. Ain't his fault I'm the way I am," I said quietly, and then turned to face him again. "Ya can't punish your boys for my father's mistakes. Don't make them pay for what he did to me, Sean."

He stared at me for a long time, his face blank, and I waited. Finally, he nodded once and then brushed past me to enter the bunkroom. I leaned against the door post and watched Spot approached Silver, who was walking from the washroom to his bunk.

"Listen, Silv—" Spot started but a grin split Silver's face.

"Yeah, it's fine," he said, cutting Spot off. The two friends spit-shook their truce and Silver put a hand on Spot's shoulder. "Can't blame ya for wantin' to protect ya girl, Conlon. Finally got yaself a good one and we ain't lettin' her get away."

"No kiddin'," Spot agreed and gave me a tiny smile. I was satisfied by this display and beckoned Spot back to me.

He still wasn't wearing a shirt and it made me blush as he pulled me back into his room and shut the door. I undressed myself, folding my trousers and placing them on top of my shoes, sitting down on the edge of my cot as I ran a brush through my hair and then folded myself under the moth eaten blanket.

Spot pulled me in close and I marveled at his easily we fit together, the way his arms folded around me just so and the way my head fit under his chin. We were made for each other, and as silly as it was, it made my heart constrict inside my ribs. Something odd happened then. A feeling I never felt before. It was warm and it covered my body like silk.

His mouth was warm against my temple as he kissed me goodnight there, whispering my name like a prayer to the Blessed Virgin.

I leaned against his chest, listening to the wet thumping sound of his heart beating inside his ribs. It should've grossed me out, but it was steady, rhythmic and it was making me sleepy. I listened until I heard his breathing deepen and even out, his arm slack around me but still encasing me.

I lifted my head and kissed the hollow of his throat gently, like you would kiss a dying loved one, and then moved my lips to his ear, whispering the words I was terrified to say when he was conscious.

"I love you."

* * *

**So this chapter is my apology for bringing the last chapter so late. xD. No real OCs this chapter, but you all know which OC is yours. Thanks for letting me borrow them and play with them. xD.**

**Oh, and this is easily my favorite chapter so far. I hope you would agree.**

**To all you happy hopping NML-ers such as myself, I am thinking about entering Laelyn's one shot fanfic contest. I'm still trying to grind through a plot, so you may see that in the near future. I have an idea, and it'll be a good one. :). Hopefully I place in her contest, though. I'm not all that fabulous of a writer. xD**

**If you like it, then review it, friends. I love you all.**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked**


	10. of worries and plans

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Nine**

Nightshade was not happy. I told her about Spot plowing his fist into Silver's jaw and she started ranting in Scottish, which was actually pretty terrifying. Scottish girls were like Irish girls: don't get them mad unless you weren't too fond of your kneecaps.

My Manhattan friends had about the same reaction.

"I can't believe that!" Pip fumed. "What a damn bastard!"

"I can't believe Angel didn't deck him," Izzy said, smoking a cigarette as we all hung out outside Tibby's, since she decided to smoke before heading in for lunch and Pip and I had shared a few inhales with her.

"It was tempting," I admitted and Charlie laughed.

"I'd pay big money to see Angel kick Spot Conlon's ass." She laughed again and slung her arm around my neck.

Wendy smiled. "He'd probably let her, too, being his girl and all."

I was glad Wendy was getting comfy hanging around us girls. I liked her immensely and I felt close to her, being a foreigner myself to this strange land. Although, I'd been around for six years, I still felt a little out of place. I was thankful that my Irish accent had thinned out, though. People here seemed to have this obscene notion that Irish people were below everyone else. It was idiotic.

"You know, it sounds like Spot's been acting off ever since he let Desiree stick around," Pirate said, having been oddly quiet during our conversation. Usually she was very animated with us girls. She was very opinionated and never went too long without dishing it out. But today she had been quiet, except for a few moments ago.

I chewed my bottom lip thoughtfully. "You're right, he has. That's so… unlike him."

"Maybe havin' Desire 'round makes him nervous, since he knows ya don't like her," Izzy offered her own thoughts, inhaling on the cigarette one last time before tossing it into the street.

Piper nodded. "It makes sense. That could be why he overreacted to Silver leavin' ya outside for thirty seconds. I mean, Johnny's not one to shit around with, but still. It wasn't like he tried takin' advantage of you or nothin'."

I sighed. "I dunno, guys, but I'm so tired of trying to figure this shit out. Let's go eat."

Charlie and Izzy left to go sit with their boys, both boys' faces lighting up at the same time. Blink put his arm around Izzy when she settled into the chair beside him and his mouth found the apple of her cheek, making her smile at him like a girl in love. And Mush hugged Charlie in close to him and then led her by the hand back to his table, continuing to hold her hand even though it made eating a sandwich hideously hard to do.

That left me, Wendy, Pip and Pirate to occupy the only open booth in Tibby's. We all ordered and after getting mugs of root beer, except for Wendy who opted for water, we moved on to lighter subjects of conversation, since I wasn't too keen on continuing the confusing saga of the complex man, with the even more complex life, named Spot Conlon.

We ate roast beef sandwiches until Wendy inquired on the time and nearly jumped out of her seat with Pip checked her pocket watch and told her it was nearly one o'clock in the afternoon. Piper finished her meal and then hugged both Pirate and I goodbye to take Wendy back to Meadow Alley, the name of the brothel she worked at. Wendy didn't like walking the streets alone, even though it was daylight out, and she and Pip seemed to be the closest. The boys called out their goodbyes to Pip as she left with Wendy in tow, leaving just Pirate and I sitting at the booth.

"Angel, I've got to tell you somethin'," Pirate said after a moment, leaning across the table towards me.

I took a swig of root beer and nodded for her to continue.

"I heard that Spot and Desiree went off alone together when he got back from walking you back to Manhattan," she said, frowning.

I frowned as well. "Where'd you hear it from?"

"Blue told me. He's my friend," she said and I nodded. Blue was a tough guy, with a mean poker face, but he was kind of like Brooklyn's body guard. Nobody wanted him to beat them up. He was huge. "Said Conlon told the birds no to trail them."

"And it's a sure thing, yeah?"

"Yeah," Pirate nodded. "I'm sure Sneak'll come by later to tell you himself." She reached out and grasped my hand. "I'm only telling you this because I care about you, Angel. You have a right to know. You're his girl."

I nodded. Yes, I knew she cared, but it bothered me. Pirate was right though, and I wasn't surprised. One of the birds did come and tell me about Spot and Desiree, but it wasn't Sneak.

It was the O'Shea sisters, Fire and Rain, that came to see me. Fire told me how Desiree was waiting for Spot when he returned to the docks. Fire knew this because she'd been talking to Silver all afternoon. She told me how he motioned Desiree to follow him, after informing everyone that Silver was in charge until he got back and that nobody was to follow him.

Fire also told me how Silver told her and rain to go and let me know about this, since Silver didn't like the feeling it gave him that Desiree and Spot were going off together, alone.

"I hope you ain't mad at me for tellin' ya," Fire said and it was the first time she looked nervous. I'd never seen her without her fierce face on.

I shrugged. "Ain't you fault a tramp is following my man." I kicked the wall outside the girls' Lodging House. "I just can't believe the cheek of that girl. She waited until I was gone to jump on him. Is it wrong to be pissed?"

Fire laughed. "Ain't nobody can't tell you what and who to be pissed at but you. Honestly, I'd be pissed too if some whore like Desiree was following my boyfriend around like a lost puppy."

"Everyone knows Johnny likes Desiree, though, Fire," I said and leaned back against the wall. "What if she's workin' for him or somethin'?"

Fire shook her head. "Conlon knows everything about everyone. Ain't no way that's goin' on. If she is workin' for Johnny, though, then he must be one smart sonova bitch, y'know?"

I sighed and started pacing, smoking my cigarette at an inhuman pace. "I almost can't leave Brooklyn, Fire. Maybe I shouldn't have split my time between Manhattan and Brooklyn. If I stayed with him all the time, this wouldn't be happening."

"Nah, that wouldn't solve nothin'." Fire grinned at me. "You'd be pissed all the time that you ain't here and bitchin' all the damn time about it. And this would still be happenin', 'cept Conlon'd prob'ly be sneakin' around on ya since he knows you ain't fond of the whore. And he couldn't face ya about it, since you'se kind of a bitch when ya mad, Angel."

I stopped mid-pace and grinned at Fire, who was grinning at me. "You're a damn smart ass, you know that, Fire?"

She nodded like this was a compliment. "And don't ya forget it, Angel."

Our meeting was cut short, though, since Rain decided that she was tired and kept tugging on her older sister's shirt and whining about it.

"I'll keep you posted about Desiree, Angel. Whatever she's doin' she ain't gettin' away with," Fire assured me and we spit-shook firmly about it.

Until she hugged me.

I blinked in surprise as her arm came around me, hugging me fiercely. To say I was surprised would've been a severe understatement.

"Don't be a stranger, Angel, all right? If you need anything, just ask," she said softly and left as quickly as she'd come, leaving me standing with my mouth open like an absolute idiot.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep most of the night. Not that I ever slept well, but this time I was lucky I got two hours of sleep. I was up most of the night worrying about what the hell Spot and Desiree were discussing in their walk of solitude. And why didn't he let the birds trail him? What was so damn secret that even his birds couldn't follow?

Just as my eyes were closing, I could hear Pirate shouting at all of us to get up to sell. I groaned slightly and sat up, rubbing my eyes. I walked half asleep to the distribution yard, smiling slightly when we caught up with boys, exchanging hugs and claps on the back.

I would never get tired of being in Manhattan. They were such nice guys, always clamoring to say hello or to be your selling partner for the day since you were a girl and they wanted to make sure nobody ripped you off. And it wasn't because I was Spot's girl. They were always like this.

"We're going to the Battery, Angel. Ya comin'?" Charlie beamed at me and hung her arm around my neck. I bobbed my head in agreement and walked with her and Mush to the Battery, calling out headlines as we went.

We skirted around the open air market and I hardly even bothered to pay attention to the headlines I was calling out, smiling and thanking people that pressed pennies into my hand. I hoped I was giving them their papers but I wasn't paying attention.

I waved slightly to Charlie and Mush as I went off my own way when we reached Battery Park, waving my papers around like a mad woman. I fished out an old story that I'd used when I was younger and had first started out as a newsie. Telling high-class women about my abusive father who would beat me mercilessly if I didn't sell all my papers by noon always won hearts.

After all, every lie has some truth to it.

_I squirmed deeper into the broom closet, crying out as his hands reached for me, forcing me o press my back tighter against the wall, hoping it would give way and swallow me up. I t never did. He grabbed my shoulders and hauled me out, tossing me away as quickly as he got a hold of me. I slid to the ground when my back hit the wall and sobbed once, fear in my eyes. He bent down and grabbed a fistful of thick, blonde locks, his breath smelling like rich Irish whisky as he sneered down at me. "I wouldn't have to do this if you weren't such a naughty, naughty little girl."_

I shook out of my memories when I received a sound slap on my back, making me jump, which made Charlie jump. I looked up at her and saw the fear in her eyes.

"Goodness, I thought you were havin' a fit," she said, sounding terrified.

"'Goodness'?" I tilted my head at her and she gave me another slap on the back, smiling.

"You've been off all morning. Do we need to talk?" She hugged her last few papers to her chest and I spotted Mush heading towards us.

I shook my head and took a step back as Mush joined us, sliding his arm around Charlie's thin, shapely waist. I felt so stupid, trying to be happy with them when I was just… not happy. I pressed my lips together and smiled at them.

"I didn't get my sleep last night. I'm probably just going to go back to bed," I said, almost honestly.

Charlie smiled. "Want me to bring you back some lunch?"

"No. That's all right. I won't be hungry," I told her, and then left the park quickly, stopping at the distribution yard to sell back my papers.

I shuffled along back to the girls' Lodging House, flopped on my cot and went back to bed. I woke up to the sounds of the city outside and sat up, rubbing my eyes. I leaned over and stole Pip's pocket watch that she'd left on her bed, looking at the time. It was nearly seven o'clock. I'd slept through lunch and dinner.

I ran a brush through my hair and then tucked it up under my cap, trotting out of the Lodging House. The girls weren't home yet, which only meant that they were with the boys until curfew. I stuck my hands in my pockets and decided to join them, stopping when I realized that a high class girl who was walking on the arm of a very distinguished gentlemen wearing a top hat was Diana Pemberton.

They were walking towards me and I debated on whether to say hello or to just pull my hat lower and ignore them. I blinked a few times and started walking again, only to have my arm grabbed. I bit back a shriek and looked up, realizing that Diana had grabbed my arm.

"Lissie," she said, looking as shocked as I felt.

She looked terrible, now that we were up close. Her cheeks were red, like she'd pinched them beforehand too long, and her eyes looked tired, yet there was no bags to be seen. Her dress was neat and tidy, laced up tighter than she liked, and she was fanning herself as quickly as was deemed appropriate. The man whose arm she was on gave me a sneer.

"You know this sewer rat?" he asked her and looked down upon me like I was utterly inferior to himself and Diana.

"Yes, I do," Diana said quietly, like she was trying to defend me but couldn't risk the scandal of talking back to a man. "She's my friend, Marcus."

"Yes, well, when we are wed, you will have no such correspondence with one so… vulgar as this dirty street child," the man told her with an air of arrogance that was nothing like Spot's; it was worse.

I blinked. "Wed?" I murmured.

"Oh, goodness, where are my manners?" Diana nearly squawked. "Alyssa, may I present my fiancé, Marcus Blanchett. Marcus, this is my best friend, Alyssa O'Rourke."

I held out my hand and smiled to be polite but he just glared at my hand. I was about to pull it back but he reached out and grasped it, pumping my hand once in a way that made me fear he was about to rip my arm free of its socket.

I blinked and rubbed my shoulder in pain, watching him wipe his hands on my trousers as if I was contaminated with some hideous disease. I frowned at him.

"Yes, well, I think that's quite enough of that," Marcus said. I rolled my eyes.

"I couldn't agree more," I muttered and then tipped my hat. "Goodbye, Diana."

I stormed off and rolled my eyes. I was so happy I'd left that life. God, I couldn't even begin to describe how hideous it must be to have to be married off to some horrible man like Marcus Blanchett. Yuck.

As I was storming, I didn't notice a boy coming towards me until we collided rather hard. I blinked a few times and rubbed my head, wondering why of all times that so much was happening to me. Until a hand was extended to me and I looked up into the most beautiful brown eyes I'd ever seen.

**:Whip pan to Third Person!:**

She smirked in the shadows and shook Pirate's hand, giving her a few more coins for god measure.

"Nice thinking with that guy. I have to give it to you. I picked well," Desiree said and crossed her arms.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm keeping my end of the bargain. You keep yours. Spot's still not interested in you," Pirate said, glaring at her. "I've all ready planted the doubt in that stupid blonde. Now get Spot to stop thinking about her."

Desiree crossed her arms and glared back. "Spot's very difficult to understand. It takes time to crack him. You have to give me time."

Pirate gripped Desiree's shoulders and gave her a sound shake. "There ain't gonna be no time when that nitwit figures out what's going on! She may be annoying but she ain't stupid. And those friends of hers will help her out. If they figure it out, I ain't coming to your rescue, ya hear me?"

"All right, just unhand me, you brute," Desiree huffed when Pirate let her go. "I will get Spot away from her. I mean, how hard can it be? They don't even live in the same borough."

* * *

**Woot! This plot twist came out of NOWHERE. But I'm loving it and it helps with the story arc that I'm working on for this story. And I'm hoping it will draw the story out as much as hideously possible because I'm LOVING this right now. Hahah, I'm such a creeper.**

**BTW, Miss Vivian, to answer your question, Piper is my character. She'd been buzzing around in my head for a while and I had to insert her this time around. So she's mine. Isn't she such a pistol? I love her. Hhaha.**

**Rain, Fire, Smooth, Izzy, Charlie and Wendy all belong to their respective owners who've given me temporary parental rights to their characters until I see fit to return them. Which will probably be at the end of the sequel to this story. (Oh geez, ANOTHER SEQUEL?)**

**If you like it, then review it, friends. I love you all.**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked**


	11. of doubt and cupid arrows

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Ten**

I blinked and rubbed my head, blushing as my eyes traveled from the hand extended to me, up the arm and into the face of the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. Well, second most beautiful. I am still pretty partial to the King.

"Hello there. I'm so sorry to have run you into the ground like I did," the boy said, with a heavy Spanish accent. It was delicious.

I grabbed his hand and he hoisted me up. I noted the guitar he held in one hand and quickly pulled my hand from his when I realized he was still holding it.

"It's all right. I wasn't paying attention myself," I said. Why was I so flustered? I had a boyfriend!

"I know, but I still knocked you down." The boy smiled and then bowed grandly. "I am Miguel."

"I'm Angel. But you can call me Lissa," I told him and bowed back, smiling when he smiled.

"Miss Lissa, it is terribly nice to meet you," Miguel said. "Would you like to walk with me?"

I blinked and then nodded. "Sure."

We walked together until we reached a large building that looked rather homey. Children were outside of it, tossing balls and jumping rope. I smiled as two boys ran past us with shaggy blonde hair that cried out to be trimmed. Miguel led me inside and I marveled at how many children could fit inside one building. And I thought the Lodging House held too many boys.

All the children that ran about couldn't have been older than twelve though. One little girl with dirty cheeks and bright blue eyes stopped and looked up at me.

"Miguel brought a newsie home!" she shrieked and I was suddenly surrounded by a bunch of children tugging on my trousers and my shirt sleeves. Was I really that fascinating?

No, probably not.

"All right, all right. What is all this fuss about?" A rather stout woman came down the stairs, with two twin girls in tow. I removed my cap in respect and the woman smiled at me. I noted the deep set wrinkles in her face but she looked friendly and sweet. Her brown hair was streaked with silver and pulled back into a modest bun and she wore a blue dress with a white apron over top.

"I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I ran into your boy here and kind of just followed him home," I said shyly, embarrassed for some unknown reason.

"That's not a problem, dear," the woman said. "And please call me Mrs. Wilson. You're just in time for lunch, dear. Won't you join us? I've had the cook make soup for us, and we always have too much. Please, join us."

I wanted to decline, since I remembered that Charlie was going to bring me food from Tibby's later, even though I told her not to. Knowing her, she'd tell all the girls when she reached Tibby's and they'd purposefully not eat some of their food to bring it home to me. Oh, my friends were so fabulous.

But Miguel smiled at me and I was kind of won over. He was so incredibly gorgeous. And I felt so bad for thinking it, because of Spot.

I sat down at the table with all the children, sitting next to Miguel and Mrs. Wilson after she'd helped serve everyone. It was potato and bean soup. And it was warm. Yum.

"So what exactly is it that you run here?" I asked Mrs. Wilson, sliding spoonful after spoonful of soup into my mouth. I must have looked barbaric. I could remember our house mother in my past lifetime as a rich girl tutting us girls at breakfast for shoveling flapjacks into our mouths since we had been so excited for them.

"It's an orphanage, dear, of sorts. If I hadn't taken them in, the Refuge would've gotten them, and I can't do that to these children," she told me, dipping some bread into her soup.

I ripped off a hunk for myself from the loaf in the middle and gnawed on it thoughtfully as she continued to speak.

"So you're a newsie, Lissa," Mrs. Wilson said. "Do you have a newsie name?"

I smiled sweetly at her. "Yes, I do. It's Angel."

Mrs. Wilson smiled as well. "Why is that?"

"I used to be a pickpocket, when I first came here from Ireland with my best friend. The boys called me Angel because I looked sweet on the outside, but I was a good thief. Nobody ever suspected me, because I guess I must've been sweet looking."

"I can see why," Miguel said from beside me and I blushed, digging into my soup once more.

"So who's your best friend? Is she a newsie like yourself?" Mrs. Wilson asked.

I shook my head. "No. He's actually the leader of the Brooklyn newsies."

"A boy?" Mrs. Wilson looked shocked and I blushed again.

"I know. It's rather scandalous, but it was for the best," I told her. "I came from a terrible home and his parents thought he and I were destiny so they sent us off to America so he could make a good life for us." I smiled, remembering.

"How sweet, Lissa," Mrs. Wilson sighed. I wondered if she liked those half-penny novels you got in bookstores with the dashing heroes and the damsels in distress.

"So you're Irish?" Miguel asked, and I nodded.

"Yes, very much so. Him and I both," I blushed and then sort of remembered that I was taken and stood up. "I should go. I have friends waiting."

"Let me take you there," Miguel said and then stood up before I could tell him 'no'.

"Thank you for sharing your food with me, Mrs. Wilson, it was delicious," I told her.

"Of course, dear, just make sure you come back to see me sometime," she said and I ducked out of the orphanage with Miguel, walking beside him as I led him back to Tibby's, where I knew everyone was still.

The girls were sitting outside, smoking and Piper was flailing about like a loon. Ah, my friends. I thanked Miguel quietly and he ducked into an alley and was gone.

"I can't believe that!" Pip exclaimed.

Charlie looked like her face might explode. It kept changing shades of red. Izzy elbowed her and giggled and Wendy and Pirate just looked on with smiles.

"What's goin' on?" I asked them and Piper looked up at me.

"Charlie's never kissed Mush," she told me and I smiled.

"That's so sweet!" I sat down beside Izzy and smiled at Charlie. "Why are you guys teasing her about it?"

"Because we want to help!" Izzy cheered. "I have a plan!"

"Oh, God." Piper rolled her eyes. "Not a _plan_."

"Yes, a _plan_," Izzy glared at Piper playfully and then dragged me into Tibby's with her, I supposed, to be part of the plan. She grabbed Blink who promptly dropped his sandwich to allow himself to be manhandled by Izzy over to a booth that was empty. She pushed us both into it, hard, and then sat across from us, steepling her fingers like a vaudeville villain under her chin.

"I have a plan, and I need your help," she told us. "Charlie and Mush have never kissed, and I have the perfect plan to help them with it."

I rolled my eyes. "Izzy, the last thing you need to do is get involved with peoples' love lives," I scolded her, which earned me a swift kick in the shin. I hissed and rubbed the sore spot. "Fine. What's the plan?"

She smiled sweetly. "Blink, I need you to convince Mush to ask Charlie out tonight. Angel, I need you to get Charlie to accept."

"I don't think that's goin' to be a problem. They _are_ kind of together," Blink pointed out and Izzy shot him a look that threatened for his shin to be the next thing sore, which promptly shut him up.

I nodded and Blink and I moved to positions to start the plan. I sat back outside with Charlie, finishing the cigarette Izzy had abandoned outside and talking to her. I apologized once again for being a bitch that morning and I assured her I felt much better now.

We both looked up when Blink and Mush came walking out. Well, Blink was pushing Mush out but it was the general idea.

"Well, uh, hey, Charlie," Mush stammered and I found it endearing of him. How cute.

Charlie blushed a new shade of crimson. "Hello."

"So, uhm, I was thinkin', ya know, Charlie, if maybeyouwantedtogoouttonight," he said quickly.

Charlie blinked once, her green eyes wide with innocence. "Beg pardon?"

Blink elbowed him and Mush swallowed hard. "I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out tonight," he said slowly, blushing himself. "I mean if you want to. You don't have to, I mean, but I'd really like it since we haven't actually had a proper date and well… Oh boy, I'm rambling. Okay, I'm done now. Done. Now. Really."

Blink slapped a hand across Mush's mouth to stop him from talking and Mush looked relieved. Charlie's mouth was open in shock and I gave her a nudge. She tossed me a look like you'd give someone if you were drowning and I motioned with my head towards Mush, who was standing there with Blink's hand over his mouth, looking insanely nervous.

"All right."

Her clear voice shocked all three of us, I think. Blink let Mush go, who nodded straight-faced, thanked her and went back inside, but you could hear him hoot with joy as soon as he got inside.

"Finally!" Pip cried as she, Izzy, Pirate and Wendy all barreled out of Tibby's together. "Come on! We have to make you beautiful for tonight! You're getting that kiss!"

We all skipped selling the afternoon edition to help Charlie prepare for her date (and her first kiss) with Mush. We styled her curly pink-blonde hair to frame her face. She had such a great face shape and we made sure her hair looked best around it. Next, we wanted to dress her up. _Wanted_ being the key word.

"No! Absolutely not," Charlie objected. "I'm not wearing a skirt. I hate them."

Piper growled loudly and put her hands on her hips. "Fine. A nice pair of trousers, then," she decided.

Charlie wasn't happy about it, but she decided it must have been better than wearing a dress. We found her a nice pair of brown trousers to wear and Pip supplied a nice shirt and a brown vest for her to wear. We all figured that Mush would've liked her better in her natural clothing than in a dress anyways.

"What time is it?" Izzy asked, smoothing down Charlie's shirt while Pirate was putting the finishing touches on her curls.

"Almost seven," Piper said, checking her pocket watch. "Shit! It's almost time!"

We all worked quickly to finish in time and all four of us jumped when there was a knock on the door.

"Shit! He's early!" Pip hollered and I laughed, jogging down the stairs to the door.

I opened the door and smiled at an insanely apprehensive Mush and a smirking Blink.

"Uhm, is Charlie here?" Mush asked, as if he wasn't sure it was here or not. Poor guy must've been scared out of his mind.

I smiled and pulled the door open more when I heard footsteps on the staircase behind me. I figured it was Charlie. She looked lovely, her hair in shiny ringlets and her green eyes twinkling shyly and Mush looked like he wanted to faint.

"I, uh, wow. You look… wow," Mush said sweetly and Charlie beamed, even though he hadn't actually complimented her in the least. It was so sweet.

Blinked nudged Mush, who produced a bouquet of small purple flowers. Charlie held them up there nose and smiled.

"Wow, thank you. They're beautiful," she said softly. I'd never seen her act this way before. It was pretty sweet. Usually she was loud and fun, but this Charlie was nervous and shy an blushed three different shades of red.

Izzy and Pip flanked me, watching Charlie tuck a posy behind her ear, which actually looked very pretty with her ringlets.

"I've never seen those flowers before," Pip whispered, watching the couple move towards the door.

"They're called forget-me-nots. They symbolize true love," I told them, using my rather useless knowledge of the meanings of flowers that I learned in my past life as a rich girl.

I was actually pretty impressed that Mush knew the meaning of forget-me-nots, or perhaps he merely thought they were beautiful and that Charlie would love them.

"God, you'd think they'd never met each other before," Piper said, watching Charlie and Mush just staring shyly at each other. "Have her home before curfew." And then she shoved Charlie at Mush and then shut the door promptly.

I gave Pip's shoulder a push. "Why'd you go and do that? It was so sweet."

Pip rolled her eyes. "You are such a hopeless romantic, Angel."

I shrugged innocently.

"So now what?" Izzy asked, sliding her arms around Blink's waist.

"Now we follow them," Piper said confidently.

And so we did. We were determined that tonight was the night Charlie was going to get her kiss.

We trailed behind them as they walked and talked together, blushing and smiling at each other as they went. It was all rather sweet. Mush took her Central Park, where a lovely string quartet was playing. People looked on and enjoyed the atmosphere and Mush took Charlie to a quiet bench under a large tree and they sat together, holding hands.

We all hide in a nearby bush.

"I cannot believe we're spying on them. This is so wrong," I said quietly.

"Shush!" Pip hissed.

The night wore on. I had no idea how long we were in that bush, but then it happened. It was getting dark and they both looked at each other at the same time. All three of us girls just held out breaths, waiting.

And then Mush leaned in and kissed her. Charlie looked… stunned, but she got over it rather quickly and leaned into him as well.

And then we ran, squealing slightly. Blink should be so happy he didn't decide to join us in our spying. I'm sure he wouldn't have liked all the squealing girls.

As we waited for Charlie to get home, I climbed up onto the roof and smoked one last cigarette before I crawled into bed for the night.

"Charlie said you were having a fit this afternoon," Pirate said from behind me and then came to it beside me on the roof.

I shrugged. "Not exactly. But I have been feeling really bad lately."

"Is it because of what I said about Desiree and Spot?" Pirate asked.

I sighed. "I dunno, Pirate. I'm just worried. I don't want to be jealous or odd about it, but I can't help feeling far away from him."

"Well, you're in Manhattan and he's in Brooklyn," she joked and I cracked a smile.

"I know. Sometimes I wish I didn't have such a connection here. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so terribly."

"You really do like him, don't you?" Pirate asked and I looked over at her.

"Yeah. I really do," I said quietly. "He's a rock, you know? Solid. It sounds sort of silly, but I like that about him. He's so unshakeable. It's rather breathtaking."

Pirate smirked. "I've never been in love, so I wouldn't know."

"I dunno if I would call it _love_," I said quickly and then blushed.

"You don't love him?"

"I'm not capable of loving someone, Pirate," I told her.

"Everyone can love, Angel."

I shrugged. "Not me."

"Well, I'm glad we got you to come out tonight. You needed something to take your mind off the boy that you _don't_ love," Pirate joked and I found myself smiling.

She was right, because I did.

* * *

**So this is a filler. Boo for fillers. But special thanks to ThePenThatPaintedTheSun for the plot bunny that expanded into the plot thread that became this chapter. OH, and to Miss Vivian, I hope you don't think I am stealing your character. I've always liked the name Piper for a newsie name and she just kind of came into being. I apologize in advance if you were offended. :) No hard feelings, I hope. Oh, and by the way, I love you so much for putting my sorry stories on your fave list in your bio (yes, I WAS creepin'). This chapter is deticated you, my dear. -heart-**

**Rain, Fire, Smooth, Izzy, Charlie and Wendy all belong to their respective owners who've given me temporary parental rights to their characters until I see fit to return them. Which will probably be at the end of the sequel to this story. (Oh geez, ANOTHER SEQUEL?)**

**If you like it, then review it, friends. I love you all.**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked**


	12. of tension and arguments

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Eleven**

I spent most of that following week dividing my time between Mrs. Wilson's orphanage and selling papers. I sold all morning, had lunch with the guys at Tibby's and then left to help Mrs. Wilson all afternoon. I'd forgotten all about my sadness and my worry about Spot and Desiree because I was giving the rest of the energy I hadn't spent on selling that morning to something else. There was no time to dwell on worries and anything else. But I loved all those children and Miguel was enchanting, of course.

One afternoon, though, I excused myself to go outside. I didn't like telling them that I had to excuse myself to smoke and Miguel followed me out and I didn't mind that. We sat together on the sidewalk, me smoking and him playing a rather beautiful Spanish tune on his guitar. We didn't say much to each other, but I did enjoy listening to him play. His Spanish melodies were actually very nice to listen to. They were calming.

I didn't expect to see Sneak barreling up the road, ducking around distinguished looking people. I straightened up and smiled when I saw him, hoisting myself up as he came running into my hug.

"Sneaky! Haven't seen you in ages!" I exclaimed. "Where ya been, kid?"

"Watchin' Desiree for Spot, that's why," Sneak explained. "Oh, and Spot's lookin' for ya in the Lodgin' House."

"He's in Manhattan?" I was so pleased that I nearly bolted right there.

"Yeah!"

I waved goodbye to Miguel and walked with Sneak back to Duane Street, listening to him talk animatedly about the trials and tribulations of being a Brooklyn bird. It was like I'd forgotten all about my life in Brooklyn and all my friends there. Gosh, I was such a terrible person.

I stepped into the Lodging House, pushing Sneak in gently before me, smiling in utter spite of myself when I saw him sitting there, talking to Jack with a smile on his face. His hat was gone and he looked so… perfect with his hair all tousled the way it was. God, how I'd missed him! Sneak left my side to go and sit with some of the younger Manhattaners and I slid into the empty space on the couch next to Spot, smiling smugly.

"Hiya, Your Highness," I said.

He turned and smirked my way, his arm coming around the back of the couch. My heart tripped all over itself and I felt silly, even though he didn't know my heart skipped beats. If he knew how many times that happened when I was around him, he'd surely laugh for at least ten minutes. If not more.

"Hiya, yourself."

I leaned up to kiss his cheek but he moved at the last second and our mouths connected. Why did I not see _that_ coming? The boys hooted around us and I smiled, wanting to pull away but I couldn't find it in me. I think he was smiling, too.

I sat back quietly and slumped a little, not really enjoying the fact that nearly everyone was now staring at us. It made me feel really silly. I hated people watching me. _Hated_ it. It made me nervous, since I always figured I'd screw up more if everyone was watching me do it.

I watched Spot and some of the others play cards on the floor in front of the couch and I leaned back, smoking a cigarette while he played. He leaned back between my legs and I smiled, sliding off the couch to sit beside him, worming myself under his arm, earning myself a chaste kiss against my temple, his eyes never leaving the cards. I smoked quietly as I watched the game progress, enjoying everyone's poker face and I carefully composed mine, even though I knew Spot was going to win. He had a great hand. And he did win, smirking in triumph as he collected his coins and pocketed them.

"I'd love to stay here and continue takin' your money, boys, but I gotta be gettin' back to Brooklyn," Spot said, standing up, pulling me with him.

I supposed that meant I was going along as well. Spot signaled Sneak, who was playing marbles with a bunch of younger newsies. He dropped his marbles and was at Spot's side instantly. I hugged my girl friends goodbye, congratulating Charlie again on her kiss (which made her blush, to my delight), and then followed Sneak out the door to find Spot waiting for us on the sidewalk.

We walked in comfortable silence, my hand inside Spot's, watching Sneak try to balance himself on the edge of the curb in front of us. We didn't talk very much about what had happened when we weren't around each other and I was kind of glad. I didn't know how I as going to tell him about Miguel and the orphanage. And I wasn't exactly too keen on hearing about his excursions with Desiree, if I was going to hear about those at all.

Reaching the docks, I saw a shapely figure sitting rather tautly on a crate, apparently waiting for us. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Spot's jaw harden ever-so-slightly. Anyone else would've missed it, but I didn't.

"There you are! I've been waiting for—" Desiree said, standing up, and then she stopped when she realized there was three of us. "Oh, Angel. I didn't expect to see you."

"Why? So you could have Spot all to yourself?" I snapped and then pulled my hand from Spot's. "I s'pose I'll let you two discuss things."

"Angel, ya don't gotta leave," Spot said, frowning at me, though I wasn't sure why he was frowning. Perhaps it my snapping at Desiree or perhaps it was the fact that I was leaving. Maybe a bit of both.

"No, I should. None of my business what you two talk about, yeah?" I walked Sneak into the Brooklyn Lodging House, smiling slightly when a few of the boys greeted me. Fire waved at me from her bunk and I waved back slightly.

I ruffled Sneak's hair and he peered up at me. "You really don't like Desiree, do ya, Angel?"

I smiled. "No, I really don't."

He laughed and then flopped onto his bunk, looking like he was going to fall asleep.

"Take your shoes off before you go to sleep, Sneak," I instructed him and turned at the doorway of Spot's room to see Sneak push his shoes off and curl up on his bunk.

I smiled and walked inside, pushing the door closed with my hip. I sat down on his bed and unlaced my own shoes. I plucked my socks off and curled up against his pillow, inhaling. It felt good to be here again. I'd missed it. I'd missed the smell of him all around me. It was a good smell.

I must have dozed off since I awoke from a slight nudging in my back. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, yawning slightly, when I realized that it was just Spot. I flopped back against the pillow and closed my eyes again.

"Why did you wake me up?" I murmured.

He leaned down to kiss my neck. "I'm hungry."

I groaned. He'd woken me up to inform me he was hungry? What an ass. "So go eat something," I grumbled.

"Come with me."

"Make me."

I was sorry the second the words came out of my mouth, because I was promptly flipped out of the bed. The damn bastard lifted the mattress off the frame and waited for gravity to force my body onto the floor.

I let out a shriek and hit the floor hard on my stomach. Thank God it didn't knock the wind out of me, though.

"Damn it, Conlon," I muttered and then looked up to see him sitting on his bed, smiling down at me, the shaft of light coming in from the window making a halo of white in his hair.

Oh, the bitter irony of it all.

"This is a good look for you," he commented airily.

"Ya think so, do ya?" I muttered, pushing myself up slowly, as if I was in pain.

"Yeah, I do. You okay, doll?" He leaned down close to me which was definitely the wrong thing to do.

I pushed myself up, quick as a whip, and attacked him. Normally, I wouldn't have been able to move him at all. You see, Spot Conlon is a solid rock in which none can sway even in the slightest. But I had surprise on my side. So when I attacked him, he was sent sprawling over the bed and onto the floor, loudly, with me on top of him in a slightly awkward way. It would've been so much nicer if my foot didn't catch slightly on the sheet, making me land at his side, but still kind of on top of him.

I scrambled to straddle him and pushed his shoulders against the floor, smiling like an angel when he blinked up at me in shock.

"Well, damn, woman," he said, shock coloring his words. I flushed under his words like he'd praised me.

But I was rather proud of myself.

"How's it feel to be underneath me for once?" I teased him and then leaned down, kissing the hollow of his throat gently, which made a strange rumbling emit from deep in his throat.

"Hmmm. You have no idea," he said quietly and I stood up, thoroughly embarrassed that he took my simple question the way he did.

Boys!

"Yes, well, now I am hungry. Wrestling with you is hard work," I said and turned towards the door, and I was sorry I had.

My knees gave out as I was tackled from behind, landing me on my stomach, yet again, with Spot on top of me this time, pinning my wrists with the strength of a lion. I murmured colorful words and then sighed.

He leaned down to kiss my neck yet again and I could feel his mouth smiling against my skin. "Didn't Silver teach you not to turn your back on a fight?" he whispered, his breath sending frissons of fire up my left arm. Dear God, forgive my traitor heart!

"We were not _fighting_, Sean Conlon," I hissed, trying to squirm out from under him but he wasn't moving. It didn't hurt, but my wounded pride was enough.

"You attacked me first, so I attacked you back. Sounds like fighting to me," he said, his voice soft in a way I'd never heard before. It was delicious, honestly.

"You flipped me out of your bed!" I shrieked and then sighed again, resting my forehead on the gnarled wood of the Lodging House floor, listening to him laughing quietly at my frustration. Damn bastard.

The door opened and my head shot up like a bullet, my eyes going wide as Silver stood in the doorway, mouth open, his eyes wide as well. Spot was unconcerned, just continued to kiss my neck like nothing was wrong. I wanted to slap him but the vice over my wrists were unshakeable.

"Uhm, wow," Silver said, blinking a few times. "I'm sorry to interrupt your, uh, potential sex." I shot him a death look for that. "But I'm starving. So you could you please finish up so we can go eat?"

"Sure, Silv. Be out in a minute," Spot told him easily and the door closed again. The vice grip was relieved from my body and I pushed myself to my feet, dusting myself off through there was nothing there. I was debating whether to punch the boy in the face or start screaming.

I decided that I would do neither and just stalked out of his room without a backwards glance, pulling Silver along with me without breaking stride.

"I can't believe you slept with him! What was it like?" Silver stage whispered and I gave him a sound shove.

"Don't encourage him!" I hissed and then blushed, crossing my arms as I walked in between Silver and Spot.

Silver was trying to hide a smile and Spot was chuckling soundlessly. Oh, I was so glad they were enjoying themselves at my expense. Damn Brooklynites and their sadistic ways.

"Hey, guys! Wait up!"

I cringed just slightly at her voice, sighing as she jogged to catch up with us and smiled as she reached Silver's side. Spot's arm slung around my shoulders and I frowned at my feet as they shuffled innocently along the sidewalk.

I wasn't sure whether he did that to remind himself that he was taken, or if it was to make me feel better. Either way, it made worry knot in my stomach.

"Do you mind if I tag along? I'm starving," Desiree said and then laughed as if she were the funniest girl in the world.

I wanted to snip her tongue out. Her laugh was incredibly grating on the ears. Like nails on a blackboard. Or a cat sharpening her nails on the woodwork.

"Do you guys mind?" Spot asked. I was quiet, my answer obvious, and Silver just shrugged and didn't look at him.

Yes, we were purposefully snubbing her, Silver and I, but with good reason. At least, _I_ thought it was good reason. She needed to stop preying on my man. But I digress.

"Guess you can come with us, then," Spot muttered. "Just don't get in my way, got it?"

"Sure thing!" Desiree chirped brightly.

I bristled slightly and Spot squeezed my shoulder slightly. I peeked up at him and our eyes locked for a moment, before I looked away. He kissed my cheek and then pulled the door of the bar open. I walked through and he followed my heel, letting Silver hold the door for Desiree.

Spot may have had manners, but he wasn't nice all the time. But I couldn't help wondering if the only reason that Spot did what he did just now was because he knew I was pissed off at Desiree.

_What's wrong with you today?_ my brain hissed. _Stop jumping to conclusions and being so suspicious. Gracious._

I sighed and sat down at the table beside Spot, eating my food quietly when it came. I didn't speak; I was too busy kicking myself for acting like such an ungrateful bitch.

There was nothing to be jealous of her for. It was useless. Completely and utterly useless. She wasn't anything interesting. In fact, she was rather squeaky-voiced and annoying. So why was I so jealous and being so suspicious? Maybe I felt guilty because of my initial attraction to Miguel. I was feeling a little guilty over it, but I wouldn't voice it. I was almost completely sure that some girl had walked past Spot and he'd thought she was cute. So it seemed all right.

It wasn't like I was cheating on him. _Right?_

It was a rather awkward supper, actually. I wouldn't know completely, since I was lost in my thoughts, but when I forced myself to listen in, it was weirdly quiet. Silver didn't look up as he ate, Spot's mask was firmly set in place, and Desiree looked happy as a clam.

Honestly, I could almost _hear_ the wind whistling between her ears. _Stupid broad,_ I grumbled to myself.

It was silent on the walk back as well. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and looked everywhere but at them, trying to decide how I felt at the moment. I decided that anger was the only logical reason for my strange feelings of guilt mixed with jealousy. I wondered if Spot knew I was pissed.

"Look, I know you're mad, Angel," Spot said, letting Silver and Desiree walk down the docks ahead of us. He stopped us just before we reached them.

"Really? How'd you figure that one out?" I crossed my arms and looked away, annoyed. "I know you're trying to be nice to her, but she's only doing this to rub it in my face that she gets to stay here with you all the time, because I can't bear to be away with my friends."

"That ain't my fault," Spot said simply, crossing his own arms.

I was shocked.

"No, it ain't. I'm just saying: that's why I'm pissed," I said, confused by his reaction to me.

"Like I said, Angel. Ain't my fault ya chose to go to Manhattan some of the time," Spot said nonchalantly. My fingers tingled like I wanted to slap him.

"What the hell, Spot? I never said anything like that," I said, feeling the anger mounting inside of me.

"Then why'd ya say it? Ya know it's true. If ya were here all the damn time, ya wouldn't be feelin' jealous."

"Ain't no reason to feel jealous. She ain't got nothin' I want," I informed him. Hadn't we all ready had this conversation?

"But ya _are_ jealous. That's why ya pissed. Ya don't see me flippin' shit over that kid you been hangin' around with. I trust ya."

His comment nearly knocked the wind out of me. So he knew about Miguel _and_ he thought I didn't trust him? What kind of game was he playing?

"Are you trying to fight with me?" I asked quietly, irritated.

"No," he said easily. "Just statin' the facts. I trust ya. That's why I haven't asked ya about him. But you obviously don't trust me if ya gotta keep knowin' about Desiree. Guilty conscience or somethin'?"

Wounded, I raised my hand to actually slap him this time but he caught my wrist. We glared at each other for a few moments.

"You'se me girl, Angel. Ya always will be. But ya need to quit worryin' about Desiree. I have her around to get in with Johnny, like I told ya. No other reason. Ain't my fault you'se so insecure about every damn thing."

I grit my teeth. "Take it back."

He let my hand go, his face betraying nothing. It made me so angry. Why couldn't he be human sometimes?

"Take what back?" he asked.

Like he didn't know.

"Take back what you said about me being insecure!" I said loudly, causing some of his boys look in our direction. He wasn't concerned.

"Are ya sayin' ya aren't?"

"That's not fair," I choked, hurt by his cold indifference.

When he didn't say anything, I felt the anger resurface again. I'd never seen him act this way before. Not towards me. Who was this man who stared at me with cold blue eyes, just like I was one of his boys?

"Maybe I don't want to be your girl, if you're going to act this way toward me," I said frostily, glaring at him.

His eyes flashed, anger slipping through the mask. "Oh, yeah? Ya think you're gonna find anybody out there that's any better?"

"Anything's better than this!" I shouted and shoved him slightly, hurt mixing with anger to create something hard in my soul like betrayal.

"Well there's one thing that I can do that no man could ever do."

He gripped my arm, pulled me in and kissed me hard. Our teeth practically clinked together and it felt like my lips were going to bruise from his force. My anger was dropping, leaving my body as quickly as it had reared. Until he pulled away and I stared up into the most arrogant, smug face I'd ever seen.

He'd used me, just now. Used me to show me that he was better than everyone. Better at everything than anyone. With acid in my throat and betrayal in my heart, I slapped him. Right in front of everyone.

A gasp spread quietly through the boys that were all now watching us.

"I am willing to take that risk if it means never being treated like this ever again," I hissed and then stormed away from the docks towards the Lodging House and away from the expressionless Brooklyn leader.

**:Whip pan to 3rd person!:**

Silver had watched everything. He'd not gone too far, knowing that it would blow up soon. He could feel the tension back at Mar's. Angel was thinking and her brows were knitted together as if she were frustrated. And Spot pretended he wasn't worried.

Unbeknownst to Angel, Spot had been severely stressed out over the whole Johnny situation. Spot didn't like using third parties to get information. Completely unreliable. That's why he had the birds. The birds ran to whichever place Spot told them to, extracted the needed information and then reported straight back to Spot. Unless he wasn't around, then they usually found someone trustworthy such as Silver or Angel to tell.

But Spot Conlon was not a heartless guy. He would never risk his birds' safety by sending them into the minefield that was the Bronx. Which is why he had Desiree around. She was desirable and attractive, if you were into that sort of girl, and it was easy for her to get on Johnny's good side because she was, well… _talented_.

Silver had never seen Angel and Spot fight like they had, though. Sure, they had their little couple spats every now and again, from the strain of Angel's loyalty to her first home in Manhattan and her heart's loyalty to her best friend turned boyfriend in Brooklyn. But they'd never fought like this.

And Silver had never seen Spot act so coldly. Not to Angel, at least.

"Ya shouldn't've done that, Spot," Silver said, shuffling up to his leader with a frown on his face. "Ain't gonna fix things."

Spot turned his cold eyes to his best friend. "What the hell would you know, Silver? You ain't the leader. Ya don't understand what it's like."

"No, I ain't the leader. And lately, you haven't been much of one either," Silver said, getting angry. "You're always out with Des and you are snappin' at all of us. Ya treat us like shit as of late and honestly, I'se tired of it. Nobody ain't got the balls to confront you, but I ain't scared of you."

"Well thank the dear Lord ya ain't in charge, eh, Silver?" Spot hissed coldly. "Ya ain't got no idea what it's like bein' in charge. It's a whole lot of stress. I gotta look out for the boys, the birds AND Angel."

"Ya ain't been lookin' out for her!" Silver shouted. "Ya ain't spendin' no time with her. And sleepin' in the same bed don't mean spendin' time with her."

"Ya know what, Silver? You can just keep ya mouth shut until I ask for ya opinion," Spot said. "I'm in charge and what I say goes. As for Angel…" Spot snorted. "She'll get over it. Always does, don't she?"

Silver didn't think. He just pulled his fist back and slugged Spot Conlon in the face.

* * *

**Sad chapter. But it's 4110 words! I know that doesn't make up for the sadness in this chapter, but I'm pretty proud of myself here.**

**You know which character is yours. :) Do I ever need to say it? ****Make sure you review, though! And give Angel and hug for me, wouldja?**

**If you like it, then review it, friends. I love you all!**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked**


	13. of revelation and betrayal

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Twelve**

Over the next few days, I felt alone. The last time I felt alone in this way was when I finally got the courage to inform my mother of what my father was doing to me and her response to me.

_"Lissie, darling, I have enough stress in my life. Please do not add to it with your wild lies."_

I never told her a thing again.

I'd moved myself and my things into the main bunkroom, opting to sleep in the empty bunk beside Fire and Rain. Silver begged me to sleep in the bed next to him, but after tending to Silver's wounds the night Spot and I broke up, I figured it was better if I stayed with the girls.

It angered me that Silver had defended me to Spot. I didn't mind being defended but it was stupid on Silver's part because he got his ass handed to him. Spot hadn't spoken a word to me, which suited me fine. I had nothing left to say to him.

I sold back and forth with Fire and Silver. Today I was with Fire and she, Rain and I were all headed to Sheepshead to visit her brother, Smooth, and the King of New York himself.

We chatted happily on the way there, selling papers as we went, because it was a rather long walk to the other side of Brooklyn. Eventually, sine Rain was getting rather tired, we hopped a trolley and sold aboard to a few people, smiling and thanking high class gents that pressed pennies into our waiting hands.

All the upper class women chirped and beamed over Rain, who smiled up at them with watery eyes and her red little nose. They all told Fire how beautiful of a girl her little sister was and Fire smiled politely, giving me gag faces when they weren't looking. She didn't enjoy being 'nice' for too long. She was so funny.

They gave us extra and told us strictly before we left he trolley to buy Rain a nice large lunch later in the day.

"She's too thin! Goodness, fatten that little darling up!" one of the ladies chirped and we were all smiles, tipped our hats and then jumped off the trolley as it was still moving.

We walked a block before we finally reached Sheepshead, smiling at Smooth and Race, who had been waiting for us outside. Once inside, we girls all bought caramel apples as treats for the race. I'd never had one before in my life and they smelled so good.

"They're the best, Angel," Rain informed me, her cheeks all ready sticky from taking a large bite into her apple.

I took a bite myself and smiled. The caramel mixed with a Granny Smith apple with nuts all over it. Yum.

"Have you ever had ice cream before?" Rain asked me as we sat down at in an empty part of the stands to eat before we started selling again.

I shook my head. "No, never."

"Neither have I," Rain said and smiled.

She was too cute.

I figured that the boys had long since sold their papers since they were enthralled with watching the race, hooting and hollering like barbarians. Fire, Rain and I all journeyed to the powder room to clean off the caramel from out mouths before we went back to selling.

It didn't take very long. Men wanted a paper to read for the carriage ride home and women bought papers to take home to their husbands. Everyone wanted to buy from Rain so when her papers were sold, we gave her ours and she returned with the money, smiling happily the whole time.

Once the race was over, Smooth and Racetrack were hooting with joy because their 'hot tip' finally paid off. Their horse had actually won the race.

"We'se gonna eat good tonight, Racey!" Smooth grinned. They were outside on the sidewalk, counting out their money with grins on heir faces.

"Like kings!" Race agreed.

They divvied up the money, half for Race and half for Smooth, and pocketed the bills with smiles on their faces.

"I s'pose you ladies wouldn't like to join us for a feast at Tibby's?" Smooth offered.

Fire patted her stomach. "I'm all full of apple, but thanks."

Smooth laughed. "If you was a real lady, you'd bust a corset with the way ya eat."

"Then thank God I ain't no lady, eh?" Fire punched her brother in the arm and they laughed.

It was almost eerie. They both had the same exact blue eye color. It was like a cornflower color. Not icy blue river water color like Spot's.

_Spot._

I shoved my hands in my pockets and sighed. Thinking about Spot made me strangely sad. I didn't want to admit that I was upset about what had happened, but I was. I was very upset. But I hadn't cried over it. That was the one thing I wouldn't let myself do. I wouldn't cry over him.

But this stalemate between us was killing me inside.

So I said goodbye to my friends and took the long way to Manhattan, so I could think. I would've walked with Race and Smooth, had I been in a better mood, but I felt terrible and only wanted to be by myself for the time being. I reached the MacLeans' house and knocked on the door, smiling when Nightshade answered the door.

"Lissa!" she called and hugged me tightly. I blushed and hugged her back.

"Hello, Nightshade."

Lara leaned back and eyed me warily. "What did he do?"

I blinked at her in shock. "What? Who?"

"Yer newsboy. What did he do?"

I pulled myself from her with a huff. "Since when does everything have to be about him?"

Nightshade gave me a no-nonsense look. I sighed.

"All right, it is about him. I needed to talk to someone and you're the only person I could think of."

We walked to the parlor and I spilled everything to her. The Johnny situation, the weirdness that was going on with Desiree, and Spot. I told her that he hadn't been mean to me up until our fight, but I figured that he had been since Silver said he was snapping at them all over the place and provoking fights. I told her of my worry and suspicions about him and Desiree, though I admitted they were silly. Because they were.

Nightshade just smiled. "Ye need tae talk tae him, Liss."

_"What?"_ I shrieked, forgetting my manners. I stood up and glared at her. "You can't be serious! After what he did to me! After what he _said_! You are daft as hell? Whose side are you on, Nightshade?"

Lara's hideously creepy violet eyes regarded me coolly. "Ye have tae, Alyssa. Ye know it."

"That's the _worst_ advice you've ever given me!" I ranted, pacing in front of her now. "I can't believe you'd even consider me apologizing to that sorry son of a—"

Her hand was over my mouth and I glared death at her.

"He only wants what's best for ye," she said slowly. "He's goin' through some real hard stuff and that doesnae excuse him for what he did tae ye. Nae in the least."

'Then why the hell would you suggest something as ludicrous as me apologizing to that bastard?" I hissed.

"Because he loves ye."

I stopped short. Blinking. Breathing. "What?" I squeaked.

"The only reason he's stressing over this thing with Johnny is because he loves ye," Nightshade said. "Simple."

"How do you know that?" I whispered.

Night smiled. "Because he's acting like a boy in love, Lissa. He's losing sleep over this, he's snapping at the boys. All for what? All because of ye. Because he loves ye. That's why A want ye tae talk tae him."

I sat back down and stared at my hands. "I… I love him, too." I blinked, the emotion in my throat. "Oh, God. I love him. I _love_ him!"

Nightshade smiled. "A know ye do."

I almost cried. Almost. It was possibly the best revelation I'd ever had, other than it wasn't my fault what my father did to me.

"What do I do now, Lara?" I asked.

"Talk tae him," she said simply. "Tonight. Wait until no one is around and then talk tae him. Tell him ye love him. Tell him everything that's worried ye, and tell him why. Everything will work out, Lissa. It always does, in time."

I nodded and then hugged her goodbye. I was going to tell Spot that I loved him. Tonight.

After I left Nightshade's house, I went back to the Brooklyn Lodging House, smiling at Silver who jumped up when I walked in.

"Angel! Where have ya been?" Silver asked, looking worried. Now that Spot had relieved his role as my number one protector, Silver jumped in readily for the position.

I smiled. It was still hard to see him with his black eye and bruised jaw but whatever Nightshade have given him was taking the black away rather quickly. It was all ready yellowing and it had only been a few days.

"I went to see Nightshade," I confessed and then smiled.

Silver smiled as well, knowingly. "Want to go hang out on the docks? It was boring in here waitin' for ya."

I nodded, dropping my hat on my bunk, and we clomped down the stairs like maniacs, laughing and messing around, until Spot stopped in the middle of the doorway, blocking us for a moment before he stepped into the Lodging House out of our way.

Silver placed a protective hand on the middle of my back and I tossed him a smile. "I'll be out in a second. I promise."

Silver had been increasingly… difficult with Spot. He didn't like talking to him and he didn't like it when Spot and I talked, which was all of no times during the last few days. But his dislike was obvious, since Silver gave Spot a face and then left the Lodging House.

"We need to talk, Spot," I said, staring right at him and he stared back.

"I know," he said quietly.

"Tonight," I pressed.

"All right."

I nodded and attempted to shuffle past him to go catch up with Silver when he grabbed my arm. I looked down at his hand, strong and warm, on my elbow and then looked up at him.

"How are you?" It didn't sound like a normal question. It sounded like he was begging, like he was dying to know.

I blinked. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"Fine."

He let go of my arm and I walked outside into the sun with the distinct feeling that we both knew that we had just lied to each other.

Silver and I moseyed around Brooklyn for a while and I told him about what Nightshade had said and I told him that I was going to talk to Spot tonight. I was tired of the stalemate and the tension. I wanted things to be okay again, and they were going to be okay after tonight. I would confess my feelings and feel so much better for it.

When nightfall overtook New York, Silver and I split up but he informed me that he wasn't staying too far away, just in case things went sour. I was convinced that it would be fine, but Silver would not be moved.

I found Spot on the docks, sitting on a crate, waiting for me. I smiled a little when he noticed me and stood up, but then I saw her. Walking towards him with a mission and I frowned. He turned to look behind him, to find whatever it was I was frowning at, and I ducked behind some stacked crates, glaring at my hands.

Leave it to Desiree to have the worst damn timing in the world. Or did she plan this?

I peeked over the crate and Spot looked around, probably looking for me but it was dark and he couldn't see very far. Desiree started talking and trying to touch him but he kept backing off and pushing her away. I had a good feeling that he was just going to storm off until she did it.

Desiree looked right at me for two seconds, if I'd have blinked I would've missed it, and then kissed him. Hard.

I didn't need to continue watching. I ran from my hiding place towards the Lodging House, tears in my eyes but I wouldn't let them fall. I looked up when Silver caught me in his arms.

"Angel, dollface, I know this looks real bad but I'm sure there's a real good explanation for what just happened," he said, defending Spot for once but I wouldn't hear it.

"I don't care what the explanation is," I said, choking on my tears. "They kissed and I'm so sick of being here. I can't live in this world, Silver. I won't do it. I won't live in this world without him."

I stormed up the stairs and went to my bunk, with Silver hot on my heels. "Okay. So ya won't stay here. Manhattan ain't that far away and I can still see ya."

I was half packed all ready, stuffing things into my dirty knapsack. "No, Silver. I ain't goin' to Manhattan. Well, I am, but I ain't stayin' in the Lodging House."

Silver dropped to the bed beside me. "What are ya sayin'?"

"I'm done with this whole business, Silver. I'm done bein' a newsie. I'm going to back to Medda's," I said. It was irrational, yes, but at that moment, I didn't care.

I wanted to hurt Spot the way he had been hurting me. He needed to hurt.

"That's crazy, Angel! Ya hated bein' a rich girl. Why would ya go back?"

I looked up at him and sniffled. "Anything is better than this, Silver. I'm sorry."

I grabbed my music box from my possessions and waked into Spot's room. I scribbled a note on some loose paper and set both my note and the music box in the middle of his bed, sniffling again. I was not allowing myself the luxury of crying.

Grabbing my knapsack, I slung it over my shoulder and Silver stood up, looking torn. "What do I tell Spot when he asks?" he asked quietly.

"I don't care," I told him. "I never want to see him again."

**:Whip pan to 3rd person!:**

Spot walked into a rather quiet Lodging House and went towards his room. Desiree had kissed him and he wasn't happy about it, and he didn't get a chance to talk to Lissa. And he'd wanted to. Wanted to tell her how he felt, but he wasn't sure how to do that. He hated himself for being so hurtful to her. She didn't deserve his treatment.

Walking past Silver, Spot noted the sadness in his friend's eyes. _Odd,_ he thought and then frowned, seeing Lissa's music box and a note on his bed.

Something very bad had happened.

Sitting down on the bed, Spot read Lissa's note, which was written in a firm, well-penned hand:

_Maith dom, ach ní féidir liom seo a ghlacadh níos mó. Is tú mo ghrá. Slán._

Her name was signed simply at the bottom _Lissa_. No 'Love' no 'Sincerely'. Just her name. The paper slid from his fingers and hit he ground quietly.

And for the first time in six years, Spot Conlon wept.

* * *

**_Translation - Forgive me, but I cannot take this anymore. I love you. Goodbye._**

**Yes, more sadness. And Angel is a rather petty girl, isn't she? But feel bad for her anyways. Haha. NO more Spot for a few chapter, so boo for that. Maybe he'll show up. You'll never know.**

**If you like it, then review it, friends. I love you all!**

**PS- This chapter is being put up because RiotAct updated her story and I was so jazzed that I have to put this up. So blame her for this! :)**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked**


	14. of new lives and rich girls

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Mrs. Ruby, our housekeeper, was not happy to see me so late in the night. Not with my wild tangled hair and my dirty newsie clothes and tear streaked face. She insisted on running me a bath and I spent a good hour scrubbing my skin clean under her watchful eye.

After explaining that I had given up the newsie industry, she agreed to allow me to re-enter the upper class life but I would have to explain to the social circles that I and the dancers were in why I suddenly appeared. I could do that. Anything so I wouldn't have to go back to being a newsie.

Here, everyone detested the newsies. They were dirty, ugly street vermin and the upper class cared not for them, unless they needed a newspaper.

The next day, I slept. Off and on and I refused all meals sent up to me by the maids. Medda came in around the late afternoon and I finally cried in her arms. She didn't ask for details and I didn't offer them. She knew enough.

I went back to sleep and didn't wake up until the next morning.

"Get up! Get up!" Mrs. Ruby pounded on my bedroom door and I sighed, rubbing my eyes as a maid shuffled in, opening the curtains and smiling at me.

"Good morning, Miss O'Rourke," she chirped.

I frowned slightly. "Good morning. Uhm, could you prepare me some rose water? I'd like to wash my face."

"Certainly, Miss O'Rourke."

The maid bustled out and Mrs. Ruby came in, frowning at me. I frowned back.

"Why couldn't you just leave me be?" I asked.

"You came back of your own volition. I will not tolerate lying around in bed all day because some hideous newsboy did you wrong. You will get up this instant."

Ah, how I'd missed her cold-heartedness that endeared me so!

I slipped out of my bed, looking down at the bright white chemise I was in. I'd not remembered changing and yet, here I stood in a chemise. I sat back down on the edge of my bed and sighed. I couldn't lay in bed all day, true, but I wanted to. I felt awful. There was a hole in my chest and it hurt every time I took a breath.

How did things get so badly?

I looked up when Mrs. Ruby came back into my room with Diana in tow. She looked overjoyed to see me but couldn't rush over and hug me in front of Ruby. We girls were not allowed to be childish like that.

"Miss O'Rourke, we have much to do today. Firstly, we need to acquire a new corset. The one you had needs new boning and I haven't the time for that. Secondly, you need dresses. You shall visit the dressmakers and have at least a half dozen made for you today." Mrs. Ruby ticked off the things on her fat fingers. "Miss Pemberton with accompany you and Mrs. Haleson today on your outing. She knows what I require and what you are to get."

Mrs. Haleson was our chaperone, because it was unseemly to have two young, beautiful girls out by themselves where we could get mugged or pick pocketed.

"Yes, Mrs. Ruby," I said dutifully.

"Miss Pemberton with loan you a corset and dress of hers for this outing and you will return it when you have your own. Am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am," we both said.

"Indeed. See to your morning routines and then join us in the dining hall for breakfast."

She shut the door and Diana and I embraced tightly. I leaned against her shoulder and nearly sobbed all over again.

"I heard about Spot," she whispered.

"Don't say his name," I begged. "I don't know how things got so out of hand, Di. I really don't. One day things are better than I ever thought possible, and now this."

"I am so sorry about what happened, Lissa. Really, I am."

I sighed and leaned back. "No use crying over it now, honestly. I'm moving on. I am determined to make this life work this time."

Tina, the maid who'd opened my curtains that morning, returned after Diana set out my corset and a dress of hers for me to wear. Diana did not lace my corset up that morning, so I walked stiffly and painfully to breakfast. I'd been out of the damn things for too long. I wasn't used to the squishing of my organs.

Diana and I entered the dining hall and I frowned at the three girls all ready present there, standing behind their chairs, waiting for Mrs. Ruby to enter. I'd forgotten about the Three Witches.

There was Lucy Park, a terrible girl with high cheekbones and long waves of blonde hair and brown eyes that reminded me of dirt. Next to her was her minion called Hattie Warren, who had hideous fire-red curls and blue eyes. She was rather stupid and could not think for herself, unless someone had all ready stated their opinion in which she would readily agree to.

The worst of the trio was a sweet-looking girl named Asha-Lynn LeFavre. She had brown hair and brown eyes but she was vicious and horrid. Diana and I moved to our usual spots at the table and Asha smiled at us.

"I hear Miss O'Rourke used to run with Spot Conlon, King of Brooklyn Trash," she informed her cohorts and I glared at my hands.

"Scandalous!" Lucy whispered. "But why is she here?"

They were talking about me in front of me to be catty, because that's what they did for fun. They hurt people.

"I think it is because she got pregnant, and he didn't want her anymore." Asha looked right at me as she spoke. "Good riddance. She's not even pretty."

I slammed my hand on the table. "Take that back!" I shouted.

"Girls, what is all this fuss about?" Mrs. Ruby clucked as she re-entered the room, looking around at all of us.

"Nothing, Mrs. Ruby," everyone but I said. I removed my hand from the table and glared at the floor.

"Anything you'd like to discuss, Miss O'Rourke?" Mrs. Ruby asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing at all."

We all sat down and I reached for a roll the same time Asha did ad she swiped the one I was about to take, smiling sweetly at me as if we were old friends as she spread apple butter all over it.

I have met the devil, and her name is Asha-Lynn LeFavre.

After breakfast was concluded, Diana, Mrs. Haleson and I climbed into our carriage and took off to complete our tasks. First was to get me a corset and then be fitted for a new dress. We entered the dressmakers and one of the ladies escorted me to the back. I undressed and stayed quiet as they measured every inch of me.

"Thirty-four inch bust," the woman clucked and another younger girl, younger than me, scribbled it down on a pad with a quill. "Twenty-three inch waist. Lovely. And thirty-four inch hips. You have a near perfect hourglass figure, Miss O'Rourke. With a proper corset, your waist will be nice and tidy."

I smiled shyly. "Thank you, ma'am."

Diana gave me a smug look, like she knew I had an hourglass figure, but stayed quiet beside Mrs. Haleson who was admiring fabric and fawning over it.

"What do you think, Miss O'Rourke, do you desire for your corset?" the woman asked as I redressed, this time with Diana's help so that my corset was not biting into me.

I tilted my head thoughtfully. "I'd like a coutil, of course. It breathes so much nicer, don't you think?" The woman nodded and the younger girl took notes as I spoke. It was like I was royalty. "And I would love ivory boning. It is so lovely."

The woman nodded and fingered the corsets she had all ready made before selecting one. It was lovely, of course, with the material and boning I requested. We shuffled behind the dressing screen in the back to see if it fit, which it did surprisingly. I sucked in my belly and allowed her to lace me up.

I forced a smile. We'd been out nearly an hour and all ready I missed Spot. I would be out selling papers, messing around, having fun. And yet, here I stood, ready to purchase my new corset for my new life.

Next was my dress.

Diana and I fluttered around the store, beaming over this color blue or that color white. Silk, lace, cotton, linen. All such rich lovely fabrics. After a while, I settled on a cornflower blue silk material with white chiffon and lace sleeves to go along with it. I stood quietly as they traced fabric around my body, making marks and snipping away cloth here and there.

I picked out a few more colors and Mrs. Haleson told the dressmakers to have the dresses delivered to our home by dinnertime. After I was, once again, redressed in my borrowed dress from Diana, we were off to meet our carriage which was down the block.

Diana came to stand beside me as we waited for Mrs. Haleson to exit the building and Di pulled herself a slight bit taller and I turned to see who she was doing that for. I had to hold my jaw from falling as a young man walked towards us in a black top hat and was carrying a sleek black cane in his left hand. The cane reminded me of Spot.

_Spot._

I blinked and watched him approach us. He was a very rich-looking young man with slick dark hair and brown eyes that twinkled as he came to us.

"Miss Diana Pemberton, it is a pleasure to once again be in your presence," the young man said, taking Diana's hand and kissing her knuckles, but I noted the playfulness on his face.

"Oh, Thomas, you flatter me so," Diana said, in her sweet voice. "Goodness, where are my manners? Lissa, this is my good friend The Honorable Thomas Edwards, of England. He is the viscount's son, here with his family on holiday. Thomas, may I present to you Miss O'Rourke?"

I took his hand gently, as was custom, and smiled coyly when he bowed slightly. "Please call me Thomas, Miss O'Rourke. There is no need for formalities among friends."

I smiled and blushed. "Then call me Alyssa, or Lissa, if you please," I said. "It is wonderful to make you acquaintance."

"I shall do that very thing," he agreed. "It is my pleasure of knowing you as well, Miss Alyssa."

He dropped my hand as Mrs. Haleson returned to us and addressed Thomas. "Mr. Edwards! How grand to see you again."

He took her hand and kissed her knuckles like had with Diana. I couldn't wait to see him again, because then his mouth would be on my knuckles. Oh, the thought was thrilling!

"As is to see you, Mrs. Haleson. Have the girls been giving you much grief his fine morning?" Thomas asked.

"They have been most agreeable, actually, Mr. Edwards. Thank you for asking," Mrs. Haelson said.

"I am afraid I must be on my way, but I was hoping to call upon you for our dinner party two evenings from now," Thomas said, stealing a glance my way. He was so very charming. "My mother has all ready sent your house mother a card. I would like very much if you ladies could join us."

"We would be honored, Thomas, thank you," Diana told him, before Haleson could answer for us.

"Splendid. I shall see you all on the morrow," Thomas said grandly and then bowed. "It was lovely to meet you, Miss O'Rourke."

Diana hooked an arm through mine and we followed behind Haleson to talk. She smiled at me.

"He is a most agreeable man, don't you think?" She beamed and I suddenly realized what she'd done.

"Oh, no, Di. I am not courting him. I…" I faulted a little. Why shouldn't I court him? Spot and I were nothing now. Not together, not anywhere near each other. But I couldn't help feeling like my heart would be betraying him, if Thomas were to court me.

"Lissa, you've accepted this life. You must accept all the ways in which we do things," Diana said quietly and then frowned. "Even if you do not wish to."

I wondered for a moment what in the world she could mean, before we were shuffled into the carriage and we were off once more.

* * *

**_The next few chapters will be rather fast-paced, because I hate writing them (because I miss Spot) and because my Lissa!muse hates them as well. xD. Totally trippy, I know, but it's true._**

**_This chapter shall be dedicated to Miss Elaine Vivian, who made me laugh with her review. Literally, I laughed. People stared at me. Don't worry, my dear, Desiree will get hers in the next few chapters. Revenge is rather sweet. :)_**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked**


	15. of parties and sadness

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Two days after, Diana and I walked together to meet her mother in the parlor for tea. It was nearing lunchtime but Mrs. Pemberton had insisted upon it, and Diana told me it would probably be to discuss her wedding, yet again. I felt sorry for her, but there was nothing I could do but pray and hope for the best for her.

Mrs. Pemberton did not look happy to see that I had tagged along with Diana for tea. In truth, Diana had begged me to join them. She didn't like being alone with her mother and I didn't blame her. Mrs. Pemberton was not the most cordial woman, even to her own daughter.

She was a lovely woman, though, and stood to greet us when we entered the room. She was dressed in a lovely gown of frothy white with ruffles everywhere and a large hat with peacock plumes sat perched atop her head. She looked much like Diana, with shining chocolate brown ringlets and light brown eyes. Her cheekbones were set high giving her the air of elegance and her gloves looked expensive and satin. We were only meeting for tea but a rope of pearls hung from her neck and her earlobes. It was not very tasteful of her to be so dolled up for tea, but no one said anything to her about it, not that they would anyhow.

She smiled at her daughter and it faltered when she looked at me. She would never speak it out loud, but she abhorred me as her daughter's best friend for the simple fact that I was Irish. Diana told me of several comments she had made to her in the privacy of their home, and she made skirting comments to me sometimes when we were in public. But her obvious prejudice hung thick in the air like a muggy summer day.

"Miss O'Rourke, how lovely to see you again," Mrs. Pemberton said, her voice soft as we took our seats.

"How do you do, Mrs. Pemberton?" I asked politely. She smiled as if enjoying a private joke and then poured us tea.

"I do very well, thank you, dear," she said and then looked at Diana. "Darling, have you thought any more on which flowers you will choose for the wedding?"

There was no small talk around Mrs. Pemberton. She was always strictly business. I wondered how Diana could bear it.

"I have decided on gardenia, Mother," Diana said, spooning a sugar cube into her tea.

"Darling, why not calla lilies as I suggested? They mean much more than gardenias do," Mrs. Pemberton said airily and took a sip of tea.

I spooned two lumps of sugar into my own cup and sat back, sipping quietly as I listened to them talk.

"I do not care much for calla lilies," Diana said, and I wondered if it was because they meant _feminine beauty_ and she did no wish for her groom to think of her that way. She was so against this marriage. I didn't blame her. Marcus Blanchett was a hideous man.

"Very well, darling. Gardenias are very lovely flowers," Mrs. Pemberton said and something crossed Diana's face. I wondered if she wished for her mother to fight back, to argue, and not sit back and take it like she always did.

Mrs. Pemberton was as much a coward as my own mother had been.

We spoke lightly of Lord and Lady Edwards' dinner party, which would be held the next night and Mrs. Pemberton smiled and spoke of his mother like they were te best of friends. Diana smiled wryly. She'd told me the night before that Lady Edwards could not stand her mother, but Mrs. Pemberton was too blind to see it.

_"My mother never sees anything she doesn't wish to see," Diana had said bitterly and I'd wondered what she meant._

After a while, a maid came in to inform Mrs. Pemberton that her carriage had arrived. She kissed Diana on both cheeks and smiled. "Goodbye, darling. I shall see you tomorrow at the party," she said. "Goodbye, Miss O'Rourke."

I murmured my goodbye, ignoring the slight as she walked from the room, leaving us sitting alone in the parlor.

"My mother is such a hideous woman," Diana said after a moment, pouring herself more tea and adding more than the acceptable amount of sugar into it.

I couldn't agree more.

After lunch, I begged Mrs. Ruby to allow me to have our driver return me to Brooklyn so that I may get my belongings. I'd forgotten I'd left some things at the Lodging House and was not too keen on going back but I needed to get them.

Mrs. Ruby agreed but informed me that I was not to stay a moment too long. It was unbecoming of a lady of my status to be seen cavorting about with street rats. Honestly, I was surprised she let me go. It was... so unlike her. I rode in nervous excitement in the back of our carriage and took the hand of our footman as he opened the door to allow me out.

"Shall I accompany you inside, Miss O'Rourke?" he asked.

I smoothed my dress down and smiled up at him, still wearing my gown from this morning's tea. I hadn't seen fit to change until dinner and the sky blue of the dress set my eyes off rather well. I was donning my new white gloves and I straightened my bonnet nervously.

"Not at all, Mr. Fields. I shan't be but a moment," I told him and then marched into the Brooklyn Lodging House.

It was empty, of course. All the newsies were out selling for the day and I was just fine with that. I didn't need pestered about. I reached Spot's room and opened the door, gathered my skirt in one hand as I stepped inside.

And then stopped.

There he was, sitting on the window, smoking a cigarette. I hadn't expected him to be here, and seeing him made my entire resolve crash down into my stomach. He looked terrible. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd not slept at all. His clothes were grimy, like he hadn't noticed they needed washing or didn't feel up to changing them. His hair was mussed slightly and there were dark shadows under his eyes, like the kind you get when you get punched in the eye. And he didn't look over at me when I entered.

"Hello, Lissa."

I blinked, shocked by how terrible he looked, and then moved to my bunk, pulling out the knapsack I'd left underneath of it. My money and some extra clothing were inside. I pawed through it lightly, to make sure it was all there.

Satisfied, I straightened up and gripped the knapsack tightly in my hand. I walked to the door and stopped when a hand gripped my elbow. I hadn't heard him get up, but I had honestly expected this.

"You've no jurisdiction over me any longer, Sean. Let me go," I said quietly, turning my head slightly to look at his fingers curled around my elbow. God, his hand felt good.

"You'll leave if I let go," he said, just as quiet.

"Isn't that what you want?"

"No, it's not." He pulled me around to look at him and I frowned slightly into his tired eyes. "You could come back," he offered weakly.

"No," I murmured. "That's no longer an option."

He let go of my arm and we stared at each other for several long moments before he spoke again.

"You make a better rich bitch than a newsie." His words were a slap, swift and true.

I lifted my chin. "I know," I responded, a slap of my own. "Goodbye, Spot Conlon."

I walked out of the room and stopped slightly when I heard the click of a lock, but no footsteps leaving to return to the window. I waited for a moment, wondering, and then stalked out of the Lodging House, smiling as Mr. Fields as he took my things and placed them into the carriage, then held his hand so I could climb in. We rode out of Brooklyn without a backwards glance.

**:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Everyone was bustling about the next afternoon, maids helping us girls with our corsets and helping to secure lavish hats and silk dresses. A rather ornate stagecoach was called for us so that we may arrive in style of the Edwards' summer home in the lower part of Manhattan.

Medda was informed of our outing but since she was performing that night, she could not accompany us. I was pretty sure that Mrs. Ruby was greatly pleased by this information.

Diana and I were in our room preparing ourselves when I noticed something on the back of Diana's leg, after securing her corset over her chemise. I grabbed her arm and returned my eyes to the back of her knee. Like patchwork, jagged red lines crossed back and forth on the back of her leg. To me, it looked like someone had taken a needle, jabbed it into her skin and then dragged it along, removing it only to create a new line to go over that one. I was horrified.

"What is that?" I pointed at her knee and she pulled herself from me, glaring hard.

"It is nothing, Alyssa. Do mind your own business," Diana said harshly and her defensiveness sparked familiarity inside of me. She was hiding something.

I grabbed her hand and she whirled around to face me again. I stared into her eyes.

"Have you done this to yourself?" I whispered.

Diana's shoulders slumped just the slightest bit and she looked away. It looked as if she was about to cry.

"Lissa, you do not understand. I do not wish to marry Marcus. He is hurtful and my mother sees nothing. She is too worried about marrying me off so that she can cover Father's embezzlement frauds." Diana sniffled. "It is the only way I can have control over something. Do not take away the only thing left in my life that I am able to control, Lissie. Please don't take it away."

I nodded slightly and let it go, sorry I'd gotten involved since now I wouldn't be able to think of anything else at this dinner party.

We exchanged pleasantries at the party when we arrived, the Wicked Threesome batting eyelashes at Thomas but he winked at me when nobody looked. Yes, he was saucy and charming as hell, but I couldn't help thinking he was nothing like Spot. And Spot was who I was in love with, even if he was an enraging, prideful bastard.

Thomas regaled tales of fox hunting in England, and Asha begged him to tell them about English summers. She wanted to know if the skies were really perpetual gray like all the novels she read. I sat smugly and knew that it was, because Ireland had been much the same way. There was no such thing as a blue sky in Ireland. Perhaps that is another good reason I loved New York so much.

I sat quietly until dinner was over, eating with my elbows up, dabbing my mouth with my napkin lightly. It was easy to remember my manners, even though it had been nearly three months since I was under them. It was tedious, honestly, to not be able to shovel food into my mouth like I did with the boys. After a while, realizing I had been lost in mythoughts, I lifted my head and caught Thomas's eye, who stood up and smiled right at me.

"Mother, I think Miss O'Rourke would very much like to see the painting of Grandfather in our library," Thomas said.

This was the first time I heard about it. Had I mentioned that to him at all? I doubted it.

"Lovely idea, Thomas. We shall all visit the portrait. Come along, everyone," Lady Edwards squawked.

I was not entirely sure what has just taken place, but I was certain that Thomas had just lost.

We all shuffled towards the library and Diana pulled my arm. I fell in step beside her and tilted my head.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, surprised.

"I am sure Lady Edwards is going to ask you questions. Think carefully and make sure you don't make any slip of tongue. If she likes you, you are set for life. If she doesn't, then you are shunned. I know from experience."

"How do you mean?"

"I refused Thomas as a suitor a few weeks ago. Her mother never forgave me. Not like it helped anything. She all ready abhors my mother as it is."

I nodded. "I'll keep that in mind, Di. Thanks."

She smiled and then fell back so I could fall in step beside Thomas, who smiled at me when he finally noticed me. We reached the library and I looked around, delighted. Libraries always amazed me. I could lose myself for hours in them, looking at titles and admiring the work of great authors. I was so very fortunate to have learned to read upon arriving in New York.

"Your grandfather is very handsome," I said politely, taking the portrait of him in that was placed over the ornate fireplace.

"Yes, he was an Admiral in the Royal Navy," Thomas said and then stuffed his hands into his pockets. "You look ravishing this evening, Miss O'Rourke," he murmured quietly.

I blushed at his bold comment, surprised, but no one seemed to be paying us any attention. "Thank you, Mr. Edwards."

"I assume you will be attending the masquerade Miss Larkson holds every year, will you not?" Thomas asked, looking back at the picture with a smug smile.

"Yes, of course. That is in but a fortnight. I had nearly forgotten about it," I said, blushing. I had forgotten about Medda's Venetian ball. It was a lovely time. It always was, every year.

"Will you do me the honor of saving me a dance then?" he asked a little shyly.

I leaned back and suppressed a smirk. "Indeed, I shall."

"Miss O'Rourke, tell me, how do you find Miss Larkson's abode?" Lady Edwards came upon us then and I turned to smile at her, embarrassed at being caught speaking with Thomas alone.

Remembering Diana's words, I thought about her question before answering her. "It is a most agreeable house, of course. I find it most suitable, actually."

"So have you thought at all about your upcoming season?" she asked.

I pursed my lips slightly. "I have, yes. I am so pleased to be able to have this opportunity to have some social standing. I am Irish, as you know. So it is a great honor."

"You're Irish, Miss O'Rourke?" Lord Edwards chimed in.

I smiled shyly. "Indeed, I am. I hope I have not offended you by saying so. I know my peoples' reputation precedes me."

Mrs. Pemberton made a face that I ignored.

"Not at all, Miss O'Rourke. Why, my Mrs. Edwards is very Irish herself. I find the Irish rather endearing myself," he said and gave a booming laugh. "That explains why my boy is so charmed by you."

I blushed. Thomas was charmed by me? Still yourself, traitor heart!

We left shortly after, enjoying a quick tea in the parlor. I sat in quiet silence on the way home. Asha-Lynn glared death at me, but I couldn't help feeling a little smug. Not because I wanted Thomas for myself, because who I really wanted was Spot, but I wanted to get back at Asha for her years of torment toward Diana and I.

But what Diana said was right. I chose to step back into this life. And if that meant courting Thomas, then I would have to bite the bullet. Honestly, Thomas was an attractive man, at least two years my senior. But he was no Spot.

And if I kept comparing every man to Spot, it would be my downfall in this life.

* * *

**_WHAT? ANOTHER UPDATE?1/ My muse is on overdrive. Blame her. :)_**

**_Spot in this chapter, but not a happy Spot. Boo for his tendencies towards emo-ness. But we'll see him again. Or have I given too much away? :)_**

**_I really like this chapter. Well, maybe it's because I really love the Victorian Era. Come on, the way they talk is just FABULOUS. xD -is now worried she sounds like a spaz-_**

**_If you like it, then review it. I love you guys. All of you._**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked**


	16. of old friends and operas

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Fifteen**

Three days later, all the girls seemed to have forgotten Thomas Edwards and his obvious infatuation with me, and I was so very glad for it. I did not want to think about Thomas, because it made me think of Spot. I did not want to think about either of them. I didn't want to think about anything.

This didn't stop Asha from trying so very hard to ruin my life, of course.

"We've tickets for the opera tonight, darlings. Isn't that just glorious?" Asha beamed and her cohorts readily agreed, talking about what dress they shall wear, who shall be there, and what in the world shall they do with their hair!

Diana sent me a cheeky gagging face and I smiled as I took a bite of toast. I enjoyed her delicious wit in the midst of this tiring life. Asha had seen her face, though.

"It's very unbecoming of a lady to make faces, Di," Asha said, like they were old friends, using her nickname I came up with.

"It's even more unbecoming to use a girl's first name if she has not given her consent," Diana snapped back.

I rolled my eyes and busied myself with eating my breakfast. It was delightful to hear their pettiness, really it was, but my mind wasn't always there and I figured I had better just tune out while I was ahead. And I was just fine with that.

I had spent the last week wrestling with myself, angry that I still had rather intense emotions concerning an attractive blue eyed boy in Brooklyn, plus my growing curiosity towards Thomas Edwards, who was all charm and all mystery most of the time. It was confusing. I had severe loyalty to my first love, which was Spot, but I had left his world to enter this new one. I had no tangible loyalty to him any longer.

And I was pretty damn sure he'd moved on, regardless. I hoped he had, at least.

"Miss, O'Rourke, you've a package," Emily, one of our maids, said. She bustled over to me and produced the package, curtsying.

"Thank you, Emily," I told her earnestly. It was not marked as to whom the sender was, but a neat, fancy hand penned my name across the front _Lissa O'Rourke_.

The wrapping was thick and grooved like wallpaper, which told me it must have cost a fortune. I slipped my finger under the seam and pulled the paper back carefully. Diana leaned over to peer into the little box as I pulled the top off. There was a note inside, a small business sized card of thick parchment that simply read: _Beauty for a beauty_.

Underneath wrapping paper was the most delicious looking necklace I had ever seen. It was made of silver, my favorite, with faceted emeralds. I held it up and Asha's face flushed red with fury.

"I bet Mr. Edwards sent her that!" Hattie crowed, delighted at the gossip.

Mrs. Ruby smiled slightly at me from her morning glass of wine. "You have that boy thoroughly bewitched, Miss O'Rourke."

I blinked, shocked. "It certainly seems that way, doesn't it?" I murmured, shocked at his boldness with such a gift.

"Allow me to clasp it!" Di squealed and jumped from the table in a most unladylike fashion, clasping the lovely necklace around my neck, where the jewels shimmered against my collarbone.

They were lovely, of course, but much too gaudy of him, really. It made me wonder if Thomas was really bewitched by me, or if I simply was something new to look at.

Bothered, I excused myself from the table and shuffled out the back door and into the garden. I sat down among the iris plants and buried my face in my hands. I was sometimes so very sorry I had come back. I didn't want to be caught up with people like Thomas Edwards, because it made me ache inside. Sometimes I could hardly sleep at night because it was so cold in my stiff white sheets without Spot's warmth and his comfort.

I hated being alone at night. It was too familiar, and I had been spoiled by Spot's closeness and the tenderness he readily supplied until my body was pulled under by sleep. Now that it was gone, I found myself wondering about who I was. I wasn't good at anything, really, except being with Spot, and apparently I hadn't been very good at that either, because here I was, sitting alone in a garden, dressed like a damn rich girl with no one to blame but myself.

Beside the fact, I wasn't good for Thomas. I was not the type to show off and dress up and marry. I wasn't that sort of girl. I was rather unattractive, really. Freckles all over my shoulders and green eyes, when I should've had honey blonde hair and blue eyes 'that shine like the sky' and china white skin that glowed deliciously in the moonlight or some such thing like that.

Like Diana. I would never be like Diana.

I looked when I heard slippers on the stone path and smiled slightly at Diana when she came to sit beside me on the lovely wrought iron bench I was sitting on. She took my hands and beamed.

"Ruby has asked us to accompany Emily to the market today. She thought it would do you good to be out and about, what with your surprise gift from Romeo," she teased and it made me smile, though it tugged at my heart.

Nobody should worry about me. I didn't deserve it.

"I think that's a lovely idea," I said and stood up. "I have been moping around as of late, and I must agree with Ruby. …If I ever do agree with her again, please hit me with something large."

Diana beamed. "There's that Lissa wit." She stood up and we hooked arms, heading back into the house, but I couldn't help wondering something:

_Am I witty?_

**:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

After spouting off our large grocery list, Diana and I headed off into the market, each with a third of the list to procure. Di and I went straight for the fruit, getting peaches, apples, grapefruit, strawberries and my most favorite blackberries.

Then we headed for the vegetables. Cucumbers, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, peas, corn and various others. Then there was everything else. Potatoes, white rice, flour, sugar, pasta noodles.

Emily even bought a pint of milk, saying that there was some tabby cat that prowled around outside sometimes and she set milk out for him. She said sometimes he even brought round a white colored cat with black paws.

The porter helped put our things into the carriage and we were about to head off when I noticed two very familiar faces headed down the sidewalk, shouting headlines. I nearly dropped my groceries to run over to greet them.

"Izzy and Blink, I have seen you two in ages!" I smiled and Izzy gave me a once over and then put a hand on her hip.

"Does I know ya?" she asked in her applied accent, earning an affectionate nudge from Blink. Izzy had quite a brazen attitude. It was one of the reasons she and I got along so well together.

"It's Angel," I said slowly, wrinkling my nose. Did I really look that different?

"No, it ain't." Izzy laughed and then stopped when I didn't laugh. "Oh, Jesus, it really is you, ain't it? Ya look like a damn tart!"

I rolled my eyes. "Nice to see you, too, Iz."

Izzy hugged me then and laughed. "What are ya doin' dressed like that anyhow?"

I sighed. "Me and Spot had a big fight so I went back to Medda's and now I'm a rich girl."

"For serious?" Izzy looked shocked. "That's horrible. Ya want I should kick his ass?"

I smiled. "No, that's all right. I'll get around to it eventually."

"Good. He deserves it," Izzy said, smiling, and then gripped my shoulders with sudden urgency. "OH! I almost forgot to tell you! I'm pr—"

"Lissa! Let's go!" Diana called from the carriage.

I sighed. "I have to go. It was nice seeing you guys again!"

I hugged them both nice and tight and then left, never getting to hear what Izzy's big news was.

The night at the opera was… hideous. The entire affair was so hideously ludicrous that I was, once again, sorry I'd bought back into this life. Operas were for one thing only: to sink your teeth into more gossip. Opera glasses were out even before it began, to spy on lovers and friends, who came with whom, and to share juicy tidbits about that lady or that gentleman. Euch, it was so disgusting. The opera house was huge and lovely and yet I felt as if I were suffocating under the weight of everyone else's ferocious behavior.

I excused myself to the ladies' dressing room and left without getting an approval from the hawk-woman named Mrs. Ruby. I stepped out into the hallway outside and sat down, trying to catch my breath. My corset was laced tighter than usual and I wondered if that was why I felt as if I couldn't breathe.

I stood up when I noticed Lord and Lady Edwards coming towards me, with their delicious son in tow. I was so happy I'd worn his gift that night, for now he could see me in it.

I curtsied when they came towards me and smiled when Thomas turned and noticed me.

"Hello again, Mr. Edwards," I said to Thomas, blushing slightly.

"Mother, Father, you remember Miss O'Rourke from a few nights ago? She is the one I sent the necklace to." Thomas tossed me a wink when his parents turned to me.

I curtsied again. "It was a most thoughtful gift, thank you, Mr. Edwards," I told him earnestly, before smiling at his parents. "How do you do?"

Lord Edwards smiled at me. "We do quite well, thank you, Miss O'Rourke," he said, answering for his wife as was custom.

"How are you finding the opera, dear?" Lady Edwards asked. I wasn't used to such endearment. Even Spot never called me 'dear.' It was always 'doll' or some such variation. I found myself aching to be called it again.

"It is thrilling," I admitted. "I've never been to an opera before, so I confess I find myself caught up in the excitement of it."

"Well, we do hope you enjoy yourself. Are you with someone?" Lady Edwards asked.

I nodded. "I am with Miss Larkson's girls and Mrs. Ruby, our headmistress of sorts."

"Ah! You are a dancer." Lady Edwards nodded her approval.

"Yes. I dance ballet," I said, embarrassed to be exposing parts of myself like this to his family. What if they found out too much and shunned me?

"Lovely dance. I am an appreciator myself," Lady Edwards said. Ladies always said things like that, even if they were not. It was etiquette that demanded we girls say something polite and sweet at all times. If you have nothing charming to say, keep your mouth shut.

It was horrid, and I found myself angry with Lady Edwards, since I did not know if she was merely being polite or truly did have an interest in my hobby.

"Well, if you excuse us, Miss O'Rourke, we must reach our box before intermission," Lord Edwards said, sounding like he was scolding his wife.

"Oh, yes. Do not allow me to hold you back," I said, embarrassed again.

"It was lovely to see you again, Miss O'Rourke," Thomas said, kissing my gloved fingers gently before he left with his parents.

I must confess that the most exciting part of my night was Thomas Edwards' mouth on my hand.

* * *

**_Filler chapter. Booo._**

**_But I wanted to get this up as a present for all of you in the U.S. like myself. Happy America day. And to those of you in various other countries, I, Wicked, allow you to point your finger and laugh like a maniac at all of us ungrateful Americans. We're terrible, I know._**

**_If you like it, then review it. I love you guys. All of you._**

**_Hope you all have a lovely July 4th, wherever you come from. And don't worry, the plot picks back up next chapter. It's almost time for the climax! And I think you all will be either horridly disappointed or outrageously happy. :)_**

**_Oh, and to answer Elaine, and any of you other shy children that didn't ask, Diana is cutting. I know, it seems like a modern problem, but believe it or not, girls were doing it back then. Just not as often, or for the same reasons. I researched. I promise!_**

**CTB!**

**xx Wicked**


	17. of masquerades and mysteries

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Silver was rather shocked to hear that Angel had returned to the Lodging House. And even more shocked that Spot had been such a bastard to her. He'd been moping around ever since she left, but he was snapping at everyone, provoking fights and selling much too many newspapers. Spot Conlon was deteriorating very rapidly and everyone noted the change in their leader.

He could've cared less about what was going on in Brooklyn. He didn't even care to learn more about Johnny. Desiree draped herself all over him, wanting to comfort him with her… _special ways_, but he'd have none of it. Always went off alone somewhere, leaving Desiree pouting like a petulant child. Not that Silver blamed him. Desiree was grating on everyone's nerves as of late.

The tension and awkwardness was rather tangible, though. During a usual poker game with Queens, some mouthy kid decided it was all right to ask Spot if he was off his game. What did one girl matter to him? There were tons of girls in New York. Why did she matter? When did a _girl_ ever matter to Spot Conlon?

Silver never saw Spot so angry. Three very large guys had to pull him off the kid, who lay broken and seriously bloody all over the wooden floor. Spot left for his room then, and Silver stayed up all night, just to make sure Spot didn't come out for round two.

It was scary as hell, honestly. Spot was frosty with everyone, sending glares everywhere and walking with audible purpose in his steps. It was terrifying. Eventually, Silver grabbed Spot's arm when he went to walk back from the docks to the Lodging House. Spot glared at him, the effect making it's mark, and Silver removed his hand.

"Ya got somethin' to say?" he snapped.

Silver frowned. "I need to talk to ya."

"So talk."

"Not here."

Spot nodded and the two of them headed inside and up to his room. He sat down and Silver finally saw the mask come off. Spot looked broken. There wasn't darkness behind his eyes, like he was pissed at the world. There was _nothing_ there. He was empty.

"Ya miss Angel." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I do." It would do him well to admit his true feelings once and a while. He had no face to save. Not in front of Silver, at least.

"So get her back."

Spot laughed, cold and bitter. "Easier said then done. You saw how hurt she was when she left. Ain't nothing I can say to bring her back."

"This coming from the same man who said 'she's just bein' a baby'?"

Spot sighed. He'd been a jerk in the beginning of this. Haughtily claiming that she was being a baby and being unreasonable, selfish, and melodramatic. She'd have to come back. She needed him.

When in reality, Spot was the one that needed her. He was being unreasonable and selfish. He'd driven her away with his callousness and his obsession with Brooklyn and knowing every single thing about every single thing that there was to know about anything.

He was so bent on protecting her from Johnny and learning everything he could, that he'd pushed her away. He didn't even know how it happened. One day, he was holding her tight and the next, he turned around and she seemed leagues away, calling for him blindly in the dark, frightened.

And it didn't help that she was in Manhattan all the damn time, but Spot couldn't allow that reason on his list of excuses. He should've been able to make it work, for her, for them. She'd done nothing wrong, except love him.

_Love._

Spot grabbed the little music box from under his bunk and placed it in his lap. He took the key from around his neck and pushed it in, slowly, until he heard the faint click of the lock. Inside, he'd placed the note Lissa had left for him.

"What's with that?" Silver asked, motioning to the music box.

"It's Lissa's," Spot explained. "Her mother gave it to her to take on our journey from Ireland. Lissa gave me the key for safe keeping, but when we got separated, she took the box and I took the key. It's been locked this whole time."

"So why'd she leave it behind? Must be special."

"That's why she left it. Because it was special. It's probably the only thing left that she has from Ireland. And she wanted me to have it, I guess. But there's nothing in it. I wonder what she wanted me to do with it." His eyes scanned the note she'd left for him, for the millionth time, and sighed.

He was such a damn fool. She was probably going to tell him that night that she loved him. And he would've readily clamored in to tell her he loved her, too, because, he realized, he did love her. Loved her dearly. Loved her so much that he was stumbling around Brooklyn, trying to remember what life was like before she came back into his life. It was like coming up for air after being underwater and being so shocked as your head breaks the water that you forget how to breathe for a moment. He never had to remember how to breathe around Lissa. She was his breath. But now that she was gone, he had to breathe on his own.

And he hated trying to remember how to breathe.

"You think I can get her back, Silver?" Spot asked slowly, looking up at his friend.

Silver looked shocked at this sudden change of heart, but was glad nonetheless. The sooner the two of them got back together and ended this stalemate, the sooner he could get some damn sleep at night.

"Medda says there's some masquerade party she's throwing at some fancy hotel in Manhattan. All the girls are going to be there," Silver offered, hoping it would spark something in his friend's brain.

"And Lissa?"

"Yeah, Angel will be there."

Spot nodded and smiled, locking the music box once again and tucking it safely into his things. He stood up, grabbed his cane and his sling shot.

"Thanks for your help, Silver. I gotta go," Spot said and headed out the door.

Silver sprung up and barreled after him. "Where are ya goin'?"

Spot grinned. "To get me girl back."

**:-:-:-:-:**

The next two weeks leading up to the ball were hellish. I refuse to go into detail here, to spare you all the horror as well, but I shall sum it up. We perfected our waltz under the watchful eye of Ruby, countless hours of getting the steps just right and moving which way. Then we had to learn etiquette. Which fork to use, what not to say, how to laugh ever so sweetly that boys would be charmed and ask for our hands in marriage straightaway. If that weren't enough, we each had to come up with something to show for the parents and guests in attendance.

Asha and Hattie were to sing a ballad, which I was sure would be horrid, and Lucy would recite a lovely poem. Diana and I decided to re-enact the final romantic scene in _Romeo and Juliet, _with some surprises. How delightfully boring. I may have been partial, but I figured Diana and I will be the most interesting of the performers.

The afternoon of the party was that of terrible bustle. Fix that train, tighten that corset, chin up, chin down, stand straighter, don't smile so much. Oh, it was all so confusing.

Diana smiled at me, securing my mask in place, being careful not to disturb the ivory and emerald comb that pulled up my newly curled strawberry blonde hair on the left side, to show off the emerald dripping from my earlobe. I hated the way my hair looked when it was curled. It looked different, in a bad way.

I then secured Diana's mask, careful of her own comb which was ivory as well, with amber stones to match her beautiful eyes. The emeralds always just set my eyes off, but amber always made Diana's eyes brighter. She was so lovely.

Until she was pulling on her dress and I saw three long red cuts on the bowl of her left hip. They looked new. Perhaps an hour old. How had this slipped past me? We were together all afternoon. I frowned at her and she turned to me, her smile disappearing when she saw my face.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"You did it again."

"Did what again?" She tried to sound innocent, but the guilt was thick in her voice.

"Diana!" I frowned again.

She looked guilty for a flash, looking away, and then she turned her eyes accusingly towards me. "Of course I did it again, Alyssa. You didn't tell me to stop."

I realized that I was in a losing battle with her when it came to hurting herself. I couldn't tell her to stop because she didn't want to stop, and I couldn't tell her to continue on because she was hurting herself deeply and I cared too much for her. I didn't push it, though. I wondered if she wished I would have.

The maid came in to help us into our dresses, well, helped me into mine since Diana took the liberty of doing it herself so the maid wouldn't see her fresh wounds. Diana was really being ballsy, wearing a gown with no shoulders, not that she needed to worry about her upper body. She had lovely, light cocoa colored skin and her shoulders were slight and her frame was athletic and sinewy like a dancer's. Whereas I had the shoulders of a boy and freckles all about my shoulders, which is the only reason my shoulders were currently caked in stage make up to hide them.

Freckles were not pretty in high society.

We grabbed out beaded clutch purses and our extravagant feather fans, hers of black to coincide with her dress and mask, and mine of white, and made our way into the carriage where everyone was waiting. Every girl was excited about this but I couldn't find myself getting giddy over it.

Yes, Thomas Edwards was going to be there and I would dance with him, of course, but lavish balls and things like this were not who I was. I was beginning to realize that.

The party was in full swing when we arrived at the lovely hotel that was hosting us for the evening. We were greeted by Medda, who looked stunning in bright pink. Always the one to make a startling statement, though she looked lovely either way. She kissed us all on both cheeks and begged us to enjoy ourselves.

Marcus Blanchett, ever the hawk, came over towards us and snatched Diana away, giving me a cold glare under his fox mask. Damn bastard. I couldn't help thinking that his mask was very fitting. He was cunning and terrible, just like a fox.

I danced for what seemed like hours, trying to enjoy myself, graciously accepting invites to dance the waltz and the polka with smiles and demure laughs. I couldn't help thinking that I could be out playing poker right at that moment, laughing and smoking it up with my girl friends or cuddling up next to Spot and watching his cards while he played. God, it sounded so nice at this moment. But here I was, dancing with a rather handsy older gentlemen that reminded me so much of my father I had to excuse myself from him in the middle of the dance. I left the ballroom immediately and hurried up the stairs and into the fainting room. I closed the door behind me, dry sobbing with my hand over my mouth.

I leaned against the wood, willing the world to stop spinning around me so I could return to the party. It was scandal to be away from public by yourself, and I didn't want to blacken my reputation further. I was all ready tarnished enough.

After allowing myself ample time to gather my wits, I returned to the ballroom and, spotting Thomas there, I immediately fled to the ladies' dressing room to check my appearance. I leaned into the mirror, adjusting my mask that didn't need it and patting my curls nervously. I hated feeling the need to preen myself, because I wasn't the type. I honestly could have cared less how I looked, because I knew everyone that loved me didn't give a damn about my appearance either. I could have had a horn jutting from the side of my face and six eyes, and yet, I was sure my friends would still love me. And that's what it was about.

But in this life, what you looked like on the outside was more important than how you felt on the inside. You could have been dying inside, but you had to look stunning, regardless. So I pinched my cheeks to raise roses there and frowned when I realized I was not made for this life. Not that I ever was.

Just then Hattie and Asha-Lynn came into the dressing room, gossiping as usual, but I listened this time. It was actually interesting.

"There is some mystery man here!" Hattie squealed, stopping at the mirror. She removed her gloves and pinched her own cheeks, trying to bring color where it wouldn't come. Stupid girl.

"I know," Asha said. "He is _so_ handsome, but I've not seen him before. I want to go talk to him."

"You mustn't!" Hattie cried. "It is not proper."

Asha removed her mask, which was hideous and purple and largely overdone, and inspected her equally hideous face. Honestly, she could've gone without the mask and no one would have known the difference. "I've all ready walked past and dropped my dance card in front of him."

She may as well have just said _I became a tart in three seconds flat because I don't know the meaning of the word 'proper' and I want what I want._

"Oh, Ash, you didn't!" Hattie exclaimed but she so obviously loved the scandal of it.

"I _did_," Asha said and then frowned, which, I daresay, was a drastic improvement to her face. "But he merely handed it back to me and said 'you dropped this'. The nerve!"

I believe Asha-Lynn LeFavre had just passed into the realm of sheer desperation. But I wondered that if I found this mystery man, I would notice the startling blue eyes under his mask. Oh, the cheek of that boy!

"What are you smirking at, Alyssa O'Rourke?" Asha demanded and I stood up, smiling at her.

"Nothing at all."

I had no time to look for him when I returned to the ballroom, for it was time for our performances. Diana and I were first, drawing polite laughter at our twist on _Romeo and Juliet_, making it funny instead of tragic. I thought we were terribly humorous, but there was only polite laughing at our efforts. The other girls performed and everyone gave us all a light, polite applause. It was over soon enough and the ball was back underway.

I looked around, spotting Diana with Marcus and her parents. Mr. Pemberton was even in attendance, though the red of his nose betrayed his indulgence before the party. Poor dear Diana, drowning quietly while everyone looked on and spoke of the weather and the opera and the upcoming wedding that Diana didn't want to be part of. I felt so badly for her, but I was reminded of the cuts she was inflicted upon herself and I did not feel so badly. She was hurting herself, and I had no sympathy for those who destroyed themselves, regardless of how destryed they were all ready.

I had no time to think more on it, because Thomas Edwards was striding towards me in a rather attractive silver mask. His dark hair was combed neatly and his looked rather handsome in his finery.

"Miss O'Rourke." He bowed grandly. "I believe you owe me the honor of a dance."

Oh, he was just so charming!

I indulged him and allowed myself to be led onto the floor just as a waltz began playing by the band. It was lovely and I found myself a little thrilled by the feeling of his hand at my side.

"I've terrible dancing skills," he murmured, his accent sprinkled over his words. "You'll have to excuse my decorum."

His palm pressed against my hip and my breath caught in my throat, though I wasn't sure it was because of my corset or if it was his hand. He was being so bold that I was shocked no one had noticed.

"Your hand should be a bit higher, if you please," I squeaked and his hand moved and found my waist. He smiled slyly as if he knew exactly what he was doing and I reminded myself that he was two years my senior. He knew things I did not.

"Forgive me for being forward, Miss Alyssa. I find you rather intriguing," he said softly, twirling me around easily.

I smiled. "It's all right. You merely startled me, I suppose," I said. "I am not that interesting, by the way."

"I beg to differ," Thomas said. "You have this air about you that says you have a great many secrets."

I smiled a little bit. That was all I wanted to be to him, a mystery. It was better he did not find out too much about me, lest he inform his mother and have the whole house of cards tumble down upon me.

"Which is why I was hoping to ask your house mother if I might call upon you regularly," Thomas continued.

I nearly screamed. He wanted to call upon me? Regularly? As in _court_ me? Oh, no no no no no no **_NO_**! This couldn't happen. I didn't want it to happen. Had I led him on? Been coy with him when I shouldn't have? I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. He was expecting an answer, a fluttery laugh, a demure little smile. But all I could do was stare at him.

"Excuse me, sir, but might I cut in?"

We stopped dancing abruptly, though the waltz was not concluded, but Thomas didn't remove his hands from me. I found myself growing restless, wanting to get away from him. I didn't want to court him. I couldn't. Thomas's jaw was tight with annoyance.

"It is not good manners to 'cut in' on a dance," Thomas said stiffly.

"It's quite all right, Mr. Edwards. We shall dance later. After all, I promised," I said, flashing him a smile I hoped would be called charming but I was sure I had failed at it.

I was not a charming girl.

"Indeed you did. Very well, then," Thomas said and let me go. The young man readily took the space he'd just left and I glared at him.

"You didn't need to be so harsh," I said and we began dancing again.

"You looked as if you wanted the floor to swallow you whole. I had to do something," he said, blue eyes twinkling.

"I knew you'd come," I said offhandedly. "It is _so_ like you to show up at a place like this, all dressed up in some ridiculous frock coat."

"It looks nice on me!" he defended himself and I smiled.

"Yes, it does," I told him earnestly. "You clean up rather nicely, Sean Conlon."

"As do you, Lissa O'Rourke."

We continued to dance in silence for a few moments before he looked back at me.

"We still have to talk, you know," he said. "I didn't forget. I have so much I wanna tell you."

"Me, too," I said softly.

The waltz was over then and he took my hand and kissed it, blue eyes lifting to mine. He wanted to kiss me, that was obvious, but he couldn't do it here and I wasn't sure I was ready to kiss him just yet. We had to talk first. Then kiss. Maybe. If he was lucky.

I walked with him to the door of the hotel and out into the cool night air. We didn't say anything, didn't hug goodbye, didn't smile at each other. He just looked at me and I looked at him, and we let that be enough for now. I crossed my arms against the cool of the night and watched him walk off.

"So that's why you didn't agree."

I smiled at Thomas, who was staring at me from the doorway of the hotel.

"I couldn't give you my heart because it was all ready lost. It isn't your fault, Thomas. I shouldn't have led you on. I am sorry," I said.

"You didn't lead me on," he assured me and then bowed. "I just hope that man knows how very lucky he is. Goodnight, Miss O'Rourke."

"Goodnight."

I smiled as he left me be, but I squinted into the darkness, surprised when I saw Pirate, Izzy, Charlie and Piper emerging from the shadows across the street.

"Wow!" Charlie said loudly, when she finally got a good look at me, I suppose.

Izzy covered Charlie's mouth with her hand and smiled at me. "Nice dress."

"Thanks," I muttered, embarrassed. "What are you guys doing here?"

They all looked sheepish and then Pirate stepped up and looked at the ground before looking back up at me.

"Angel, there's something I need to tell you."

* * *

**_Look upon my horrible plot lines! You all knew it was Spot, didn't you? Just tell me. Yeah, I figured you knew. You damn smart people with your smartness. xD. And my cliff hanger bites. It's not even a cliff hanger. I just needed to end the chapter, since it was WAYYY long. Hope you all enjoy my terrible plot lines._**

**_Hope Miss Vivian enjoys Spot in this chapter. She's been itching for his beautiful face. Can't say I blame her. BTW, my Spot!muse sends hugs and kisses. Haha, I made that up. My Spot!muse is actually very smug that he's wanted by multiple girls. Bastard. xD_**

_**CTB!**_

_**xx Wicked**_

_**P.S- Tell me YOUR favorite part. I'd love to know! C: ****My favorite part of this chapter, aside from the little reunion Spot and Angel have, is the whole breathing bit when Spot and Silver are talking. Dunno why. It's just really surreal to me for some reason.**_


	18. of treachery and death

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Angel, I really need to speak with you," Pirate said, urgency in her voice.

I looked back at the hotel and decided that they wouldn't miss me if I was gone for a few moments. I nodded and we all walked over to a bench that was shoved against the side of some old building. We all sat down and I waited for Pirate to speak. She couldn't sit down so she paced in front of me, hands behind her back, brow furrowed. I imagined this was what she looked like on her ship, fierce pirate captain, shouting orders to her men as they scurried around like ants to get everything done under her hawk eyes.

"On with it then, Pirate. You're pacin' is makin' me antsy," I said nervously, watching her pace, back and forth. It was nerve-racking.

"I've been a hideous friend to you, Angel," Pirate began, still pacing, but I let it go. I focused on her words. "I've been lying to you all this time. And I fear a greater power than us mortals, which is why I must confess this to you now that I know the truth."

It shocked me that someone like Pirate feared retribution from God, because she was so insanely fierce and frightening, but I had no time to tease her about it. She was dead serious, and she looked distressed by it. Then it caught up to me. _I've been lying to you all this time._

"How do you mean 'lying'?" I asked slowly, afraid of the answer.

Pirate sighed and stopped pacing, turning her dark eyes to me. "Before I met you, Desiree and I made a pact, of sorts. She paid me to break you and Spot up. But she lied to me, told me that you stole Spot from her."

I blinked a few times, shocked, and something hard knotted in my stomach like betrayal. I had told Pirate secrets, shared confidences with her when I felt comfortable, and she had been with Desiree this whole time. She hadn't been on my side. Hadn't been on my side once. The feeling left me cold. Charlie set her hand on mine, probably knowingly, and I was grateful for it. Her hand was like my anchor, reminding me that this wasn't a dream.

"Angel, I know you are probably so very sore with me right now, but…" Pirate paused, trying to think of something to say and to say it the correct way. "I am so very sorry for everything I've done. Piper told me the truth: that you and Spot have always been together, just a few hours ago. I had no idea, honest. And… I hope you are sore with me. I'd like you to be. But I am sorry. I didn't mean for things to end so badly between you and Spot."

I was quiet for a long time, soaking her words in, before I lifted my head and looked at Pirate, who hung her head in shame. "Pirate," I said, to get her attention. She looked at me. "I forgive you."

"Told you," Pip said not a moment after. She must have known I would have forgiven her. Damn girl knew me too well.

"But, why?" Pirate looked shocked. "I hurt you. I helped some bitch break you and Spot up. Angel, what's wrong with you?"

I shrugged. "No one has ever apologized for hurting me, and I've been hurt. You have apologized. Therefore it's only fitting that I forgive you, since you were the only person that ever said sorry for hurting me."

It was a rather simple explanation, but it was true. My father had hurt me and so had my mother, and they never said they were sorry. Not once. Not even a little bit. Not even Desiree said she was sorry. And, though I hated to admit it, if she were to apologize to me, I probably would forgive her, as long as she meant it, of course. But Pirate apologized and she meant it, which was a good enough mark in my ledger.

"D'you…" she paused again, biting her lip. "D'you think that, maybe, we can try and be friends? Real friends, I mean, without the secrets?"

I let Charlie's hand go, after giving it a grateful squeeze. I stood up and spat into my hand, smiling as I extended it and she did the same. We shook and grinned at each other.

"So does Desiree know you went traitor on her yet?" I asked, after a moment.

Pirate nodded and then grinned. "Yeah. I told her I couldn't keep up the ruse and I was going to tell you. She was pissed, and it was funny."

Ah, there was the old Pirate, the nasty, good natured girl I really found rather endearing. And her accent was pretty sharp, and it was a good change from the grating New York accent the boys adopted.

I turned back to my friends and Izzy smiled at me, reminding me of something from the last time I saw her. "Izzy," I said suddenly. "What were you going to tell me the other day?"

Izzy looked confused for a moment and then realization dawned in her eyes. "Oh! That's right!" She laughed. "I was going to tell you I'm pregnant."

She said it so offhandedly that I didn't think much of it for a few seconds and then I tackled her, which was very hard to do in a dress and corset. She laughed and hugged me back.

"You mean there's a baby inside of you!" I squealed. "Right now?"

"Yeah, hence the 'pregnant' part," Izzy said, sounding amused by my sudden girlishness as I planted myself in her lap.

I pressed my hand to her stomach, amazed by the slight roundness there. Yes, I had seen pregnant girls before, but feeling it with my hand was a totally different thing. It was amazing.

"Wow. Either I haven't been around enough, or Blink is getting old," I mused. "So what's he gonna do when you have the baby?"

"Probably still sell papes and get another job on the side. Ain't too worried about it," Izzy said and I smiled at her. She looked happy, the kind of happy you see on young mothers.

"I can't wait to meet him or her," I told her earnestly.

"It's going to be a girl," Izzy said mater-of-factly. "No matter what Blink says. It's going to be a girl."

We all laughed then and I shifted over and sat beside Charlie again, who smiled at me. "So how long d'you think it's gonna take for the slut to get over here?" she asked.

I shrugged but Piper answered. "I dunno, but I have a plan to make her admit everything."

So she told us her plan. It was a pretty good plan, too. And just in time, because I turned to see Desiree stalking up the middle of the cobblestones, looking seriously pissed as hell. Time to put the plan in motion. We all stood up at the same time and Desiree gave Pirate a shove.

"You little bitch!" she shouted. "I didn't actually think you'd tell her. God, you are so stupid!"

"She knows everything. It's over," Pirate said frostily, not swayed by Desiree's childishness.

"Stupid bitch," Desiree hissed. "I had Spot well in hand. I didn't need your help, you know. So why don't you just jump back on your little boat and go back where you came from?"

"He never wanted you, you whore," Izzy growled. "_Nobody_ ever wanted you. Unless it was to get what they paid for."

Her comment earned her a hard glare from Desiree, and then she turned to me with her frosty blue eyes. Her rage didn't scare me. She was acting childish and irrational. I remembered Silver telling me when I was learning how to fistfight that going into a battle half-cocked would your downfall. Emotions got in the way of fighting with a good head on your shoulders.

"He will once I'm finished," Desiree said, in response to Izzy's insult.

I didn't even see it coming. I earned a hard slap to the side of my face, saw stars and then hit the ground hard, plunging into darkness as I went.

**:Whip pan to third person!:**

"ANGEL!" Charlie shrieked and dropped to her knees beside the fallen girl. She bent low, hovering her ear over Angel's mouth and then looked up. "Isn't air supposed to be coming from her nose?"

_"What?"_

Every girls crowded around the fallen girl. Blood was seeping from a cut on her cheek, one she'd gotten from Desiree's ring digging into her flesh, but she was very, very still.

"Shit," Pip swore, looking grim. "Who's goin' to tell Spot?"

Izzy turned away, her hand over her mouth and Charlie looked shocked and horrified. Pirate didn't come any closer than she all ready had. Everyone looked at Desiree, who had gone shades paler, her mouth in an O of shock.

"The girl who killed her should tell Spot," Pirate said.

"No! I can't tell Spot!" Desiree cried. "He'll be so angry with me! She can't… be dead. She just can't!"

"Well, she is, you bitch! You killed her! And you have to tell Spot. It's only fair!" Charlie shouted, tears in her eyes.

Desiree nodded grimly and turned away, ready to make the trek back to Brooklyn and inform Spot Conlon what had just taken place. Once Desiree's back was turned, all four girls exchanged smiles around the still, pale body.

Alyssa O'Rourke was dead.

* * *

**_Short but worth it._**

**_Review because I am evil. C:_**

_**CTB!**_

_**xx Wicked**_


	19. of truths and clever newsgirls

**Please excuse Spot's potty mouth in the following chapter. I tried to get him to stop, but you all know how pushy the man is. :) Forgive me beforehand, and don't be too mad.**

* * *

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Eighteen**

Desiree was nervous. Charlie and Izzy walked on either side of her, their faces stony and impassive, Piper walked before her and Pirate was following behind her. They made her nervous and she was all ready nervous as it was. It was the first time she'd ever felt nervous to face him.

How do you tell someone as frightening as Spot Conlon that you'd killed his girl?

They all climbed the stairs in the Lodging House and Pip knocked on Spot's door when they reached it, stepping aside as he came to the door, staring at each girl before settling on Desiree.

"What's goin' on?" he asked warily.

"Go on then, slut. Tell Spot," Izzy hissed angrily behind her.

Charlie gripped her friends' hand, hoping it would calm her down. The Brooklynites watched curiously. They had no idea what was going on and they'd called quieted down considerably when the girls entered the room.

"I will," Desiree muttered. "Just give me some time to—"

"The two-bit whore has somethin' she'd like to tell ya, Spot," Piper said, glaring at Desiree before giving her a hard shove into Spot's room.

Spot turned a questioning glance to Pip, who merely winked cheekily. The door was shut and the girls waited with baited breath. The plan was set back in motion when Desiree did exactly what they thought she would do. She told him Angel was dead and then offered her 'services' to make him 'feel better.' The girls parted as the door flew open and Spot shoved Desiree out, his eyes flashing like icy daggers.

"Angel is dead and you want to _fuck_?" he shouted and then stalked towards her, forcing her to skitter backwards in a nervous little dance of her feet.

Everyone was shocked. Yes, Spot Conlon was abrupt and borderline severe with his newsies sometimes but they'd never seen him so angry. He'd been angry before, of course, but never like this. He looked about ready to smash Desiree in the face.

"Why don't ya tell Spot what ya been doin' at Johnny's while you're ahead?" Pip suggested.

Spot looked as Desiree expectantly.

"Well, ya see…" she murmured, giving Spot a demure little smile from under her eyelashes.

"Spit it out, whore!" Izzy growled, getting angrier by the second. Being pregnant did not have its perks at the moment. She was angry as hell, and her hormones were fluctuating like crazy.

"I was sellin' ya out," Desiree said quietly. "Pirate got under Angel's skin, told her some things that were useful to Johnny. I paid her to do it. And I broke the two of you up."

"Even though Angel and I made up before the whore killed her," Pirate muttered, anger in her voice.

"So ya thought we'd fuck on top of that?" Spot asked.

Desiree shrugged, unconcerned. "No use crying over spilled milk, Spotty. Angel was a burden; she had issues. Honestly, it's a good thing she's dead." She shrugged again. "And, you know, she wasn't even that pretty."

"Ya bitch! I'll soak ya for sayin' that!" Izzy snapped at that comment, thrashing against Charlie and then Pirate who'd come over to help hold her back. Her eyes flashed in rage.

"Don't worry, Izzy. I think she's said quite enough."

**:Whip pan to first person!:**

I smirked in satisfaction as every eye looked down the row of cots to where I stood. The boys hadn't even noticed me come in and I heard gasps echo through the younger boys. Desiree's eyes widened in shock as I walked towards them, thankful I'd changed out of my dress and corset to my trousers and faded shirt. It felt much better.

"It's a poltergeist!" Desiree shrieked and then dropped to her knees, clutching my ankles when I stopped in front of her. "Spare me! Don't haunt me forever!"

I snorted and crossed my arms over my chest, staring down at her. "Get up, Desiree. I ain't dead."

"But you were bleeding," Desiree sputtered, pushing herself up from the ground, staring into my face with shock. "I saw you bleeding."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, and you bleed when you skin your knee, too, but you don't die from it. Don't flatter yourself. Didja really think smashing me in the face was going to kill me? I've taken worse punches. How stupid are you, Desiree?"

It took a moment for her to register the fact that we'd pulled the wool over her eyes, but when she did, the anger returned to her face.

"You tricked me!" she shrieked and I felt rather pleased by her outrage. "You're such a bitch!"

"I am rather, aren't I?" I agreed and smiled again.

She came at me again, but Izzy was faster. Charlie had let her go and she slid in front of Desiree before she could reach me, teeth bared like an animal ready to fight. I'd never seen Izzy so pissed about anything before. Under any other circumstances, this would be funny as hell and I'd be rolling around on the floor because of Izzy's seriously funny 'pissed off' face. She cocked her hand back and it connected with Desiree's nose with a sickening crunch. Desiree careened backwards, howling with pain.

Everyone in the room flinched at the sound.

Her hands flew to her nose, bright red blood flooding between her fingers. Izzy looked satisfied and grinned.

"Now run back to ya master before ya get blood all over the damn floor," Izzy suggested and Desiree ran out of the room with her tail between her legs, sobbing and holding her nose.

Three whole heartbeats passed before all the girls erupted into peals of laughter. I felt a smile crack my face in two and giggled a little bit in spite of myself. Congratulations were passed between girls, hugging and beaming because we were just so damn clever. Most of the boys had no real inkling as to what had just taken place.

"So you were dead, huh, Angel?" Silver asked and came over to embrace me. I beamed at him, twining my arms around his waist, glad for the hug.

"Yes, I was dead. I'll tell you later. It's a very good story," I promised and then hugged him back, catching Spot's eye from over Silver's shoulder.

His smile seemed to say _I'm glad you're okay._

So I smiled back _I am now._

"Y'know, I can't believe she thought I couldn't take a punch. I mean, Jesus, do I look like a wimp?" I grinned, embracing Pip because this was her bright idea.

"Yes, ya do, Angel," Pip teased me. "So does this mean you're going to be a newsie? Because, honestly, it's been seriously boring without you around."

I smiled. "I think I am going to stay. I make a terrible rich girl."

In the end, I decided to walk with the girls halfway across the Bridge. The night air was calming and it felt good invading my nose. I hugged each girl goodbye in turn, giving Pirate a reassuring smile. She still seemed nervous about our new truce. I watched them walk off, until they faded into the distance.

I leaned back against the railing on the Bridge, looking up at the sky. I heard soft thunder in the distance, and heat lightning danced across the sky. It was beautiful. I felt at peace with myself, for the first time in over a month. Everything felt… right.

"Lissa."

I straightened up when I saw Spot sliding out of the shadows, hat off, and dressed back in his newsie clothes. I liked them best. They looked much better on him, even though he looked rather good all dressed up.

"Hello," I said quietly, stuffing my hands into my trouser pockets.

"So you're gonna be a newsie again, huh?"

I nodded slowly. "I think I have to. I love bein' a newsie. Being a rich girl is too much work. Besides, I don't like goin' to bed early."

He smiled wryly and I smiled at my feet.

"What are ya gonna do now?" he asked.

"Probably go and tell our house keeper that I've changed my mind, again." I sighed. "But I can't just run off. She'll have the entire state of New York lookin' for me if I did."

Spot nodded slowly and I couldn't help myself. I crossed the space between us and wound my arms tightly around his neck, hugging him fiercely. It only took him a second to respond and he was hugging back. I could feel his face against my neck and I breathed him in, burning him into my memory so that I would never forget his scent, his warmth.

"I've missed you," I said softly.

"I've missed you," he responded. "We'll talk when ya get back."

I nodded, holding on for a few last moments before I let go and walked back to Manhattan.

Ruby wasn't too pleased that I'd decided to rejoin the newsies and she was even more displeased to hear that I'd refused Thomas Edwards. But I took her anger with a smile and Medda winked at me when she passed by, seeing me in my newsie clothes. I grinned at her. I wondered if she knew I would go back. I wondered if she always knew I would, and just didn't say a word.

I shuffled out of Ashfield Manor, hopefully for the last time, and crossed back over the Brooklyn Bridge. I looked around, wondering if I was being watched, but decided I didn't care at that moment. Silver smiled at me when I returned to the Lodging House and pointed to the fire escape before I could even ask.

I tipped my hat in thanks and climbed up to the roof to meet my destiny.

* * *

**_You guys suck. At least pretend you were worried about Angel. Sheesh, but no. Everyone's like "Oh, I be Angel's fine." Jerks. Ruining my fun. But, I digress. xD. I cannot believe i have one chapter left of this story. That's so sad._**

**_But I have a sequel, duh, planned for this, because the next chapter will leave loose ends that I plan to tie up in a sequel. It's time for Angel and Spot to have a happy ending. Seriously, it is. I've tortured them enough. Well, not enough yet. :)_**

**_IF you guys want a sequel, I'd like to know. Seriously, I would. I'd also like to know if I could use your characters for the sequel. Oh, and DramaLo, I know I haven't used your character enough, but I will. I promise. :) Anyways, I'm not ready to put Angel and Spot away yet. I have some oneshots planned. I want to tell the story of Angel and Spot and their escape to Ellis Island, I want to explain how they got separated. Things like that._**

**_Sound interesting? I hope so. You guys are so loyal to me. I appreciate you all. Honest, I do._**

_**CTB!**_

_**xx Wicked**_


	20. of starting over and foreboding storms

**VICIOUS**

**Chapter Nineteen**

_And I would explode just to save your life. I would explode._

I climbed up onto the roof, seeing Spot sitting on the edge of the Lodging House with my music box sitting beside him. He smiled over at me and I came to sit down beside him. He fished a cigarette from his breast pocket, lit it and handed it to me without having to be asked. I inhaled gratefully, thankful for the nicotine as it washed all through my lungs. Ah, the things I'd given up to be a rich girl. May they all burn in Hell.

"Silver told me about how you used to go and talk to Nightshade about things," Spot said, cracking the silence open with his voice. I was thankful he spoke first. I wasn't sure what to say.

I grimaced slightly and then nodded. No use hiding the truth from him. It was time to lay everything out on the table. No more secrets. "Yes, I used to go and see her. I haven't as of late because of being rich and all, but I used to go there all the time. I figured talking to her would make things easier. It kind of did."

He sighed beside me and I looked over but he was glaring out over the rooftops. "I wish I woulda known, Lissa. Once again, you were hurtin' and I couldn't do a damn thing about it."

I rolled my eyes. "Sean, ya can't stop every bad thing from happenin' to me. It's not possible, or rational."

"Yeah, but I can help as much as I can. I failed. That's probably one of the things that didn't help us fightin'. God, Lissa." He ran his fingers through his hair and I smiled at him.

"Sean Albert Conlon, come off it, wouldja?" He looked over at me, questions in his eyes. "Ya worry too damn much. If I toldja I was feelin' the way I was feelin' before, ya woulda lost it. Face it: you have an uncanny knack for obsessin' over things and then goin' overboard with them."

He smiled sheepishly at me and I found his embarrassment really sweet.

"I do, don't I?" He scratched the back of his head shyly and I resisted the urge to snuggle him like crazy.

"Yes, you do," I agreed. "What's that old saying? 'Make a mountain out of a mole hill'? That's what you do. You blow things way out of proportion and then want to fix them all with your unreasonableness."

He nodded, smiling, and then sighed. "Still woulda liked to know, though. And the whole pushing you in bed with me." He sighed again, his face wrought with self-recrimination. "Ya shoulda told me, Liss. No. I shoulda known. Damn it, I shoulda known."

"There ya go, beating yourself up again," I said and tilted my head. "Sean, you should know by now that you could never tell me what to do. Everything I do is solely because I want to. That includes almost sleeping with you."

He blinked and then looked up at me, wide eyed. "Ya mean ya want to—?"

I shrugged shyly and looked away. "Eventually, yes. I have strong feelings for you, Sean. All across the board."

"So ya _did_ mean what ya wrote!"

I looked back up at him. "What?"

He pulled a scrap of paper out of the music box. I frowned. Okay, _what?_ And then it hit me. The note I'd written him the night I left. I blinked in confusion.

"I meant it at the time, yeah," I said slowly. "I don't mean it now. I don't want to leave anymore."

"No." He paused, looking a little embarrassed again. "Ya said… well, ya _wrote_… that ya loved me."

I looked away instantly. I _had_ written that. I'd forgotten about it, to be perfectly honest. I'd put it there to be spiteful, because I was being irrational and childish at the time. But I meant it, now that I thought about it. I loved him. Loved him desperately. I chewed on the inside of my bottom lip for a long time and then nodded slowly.

"Yes," I agreed simply. "I do love you."

"You were going to tell me, too. That night," he said softly, thinking out loud. "But Desiree got in the way. That's why you left."

I pressed my lips together. "Mhm," I hummed.

"Well, Desiree's not here now." I looked over at him and he smiled. "And I love you, too, Lissa. I think I always have."

I smiled softly. "Always?"

He nodded. "Every since that day my father and I found ya in the creek in the Tralee forest. And then the day ya told me why you was there." He shook his head. "I think that day was when I fell in love with ya. I wanted to keep ya safe. I _had_ to keep ya safe."

Realization dawned on me. "That's why you were so obsessed with takin' me to America. To keep me safe. Well, that and your father." I snickered.

He nodded and smiled. "Exactly."

"That's so… selfless of you." I beamed. "What would your newsies say if they heard their fearless leader talking this way about a girl? They'd think you'd gone soft!"

"You'd better not tell then!" He laughed and then tackled me, pinning me back against the roof of the Lodging House. I smiled up at him. "I love you, Lissa."

"I love you."

_God, that felt so good to say out loud!_

And then his mouth was on mine, warm and perfect. The boy had spectacular timing sometimes. He kissed me deeply and I kissed him back. Funny how going without something for so long, only to have it return, makes you crave more of it. His mouth was disorientingly warm and I found myself pressing closer to him, aching for more. Every fiber of my being craved him; the little magnets in my skin pulled my body closer to him, yearning, aching, needing. I could feel the world tipping around me from the light-headed feelings he was giving me, accompanied with the most dizzying sense of satisfaction. HIs hand found the curve of my hip, holding it there before he sat up straight, as if he'd forgotten where we were and then, having remembered, was embarrassed how almost carried away we'd gotten.

I stayed still, laying on the roof, breathing labored. I was embarrassed, but happy. The warm fuzziness was back in my chest and I smiled in spite of myself, feeling a little drunk from the good feelings that ran from my brain all the way through my veins. If he was embarrassed, he didn't show it. I was glad for the darkness, though. I was blushing furiously.

"I did want to ask ya somethin', though, Liss," he said quietly, his voice thick and it made me blush more.

"What's that?" I murmured, running my fingers through my hair.

"Why didja keep that music box if it had nothin' in it?"

I blinked and then grabbed the music box from its perch on the ledge of the roof. Spot handed me the key from around his neck and I slid it into the lock, turning until I heard the tiny _click_. Inside, there was nothing. He was right. I smiled slightly at him and he leaned in closer as I pulled the false bottom out. Underneath was my most prized possessions: a piece of deep blue sea glass Sean and I had found on the beach, a slightly tarnished silver decanter, and a ripped page from my mothers' Bible with her favorite scripture on it, written in Gaelic:

_Cé go bhfuil sí amach mar a bhreathnaíonn an mhaidin, cóir, mar an ngealaigh, chomh soiléir agus is an ghrian, agus uafásach mar airm le bratacha?_ Who is she that looketh forth as the morning, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners? – Song of Solomon 6:10

Spot smiled at me. "That's very clever, Liss."

I shrugged slightly. "My mother told me to keep all of my secrets inside this box, so my father wouldn't see them. So I did." I smiled at him. "That's why I gave you the key. You were part of my secrets, too."

He kissed my cheek and I blushed in spite of myself. I replaced the deceptive floor into the grooves and re-locked the little box. I stood up and pulled Spot back into the Lodging House with me, setting the box on his night stand before coming to sit beside him on his cot.

"I've decided something," I announced, placing the key back around Spot's neck where it belonged, smiling in spite of myself as it rested easily on his chest, like it belonged there, like it deserved to be there.

He caught my hand and held it there against his chest, smiling back. My breath caught in my throat as his eyes held mine. I didn't dare look away. "What have you decided?"

"I've decided to stay in Brooklyn. Permanently," I said. "Nightshade said that it would be painful for me to chose one, but even more painful to split myself between you and Manhattan. So I am choosing the lesser of two evils. I am staying here."

Spot snorted. "Good to know I'm the lesser of two evils, Liss."

I ignored his comment. "I do, however, reserve the right to go to Manhattan whenever I feel like it, _without_ being policed by certain birds that are ordered to do so by a certain over-protective dictator."

Spot was suddenly extremely serious. He gave me a no-nonsense look that dared me to object that again and I sighed, shoulders slumping with resignation.

"All right," I acquiesced. "As long as I don't _know_ I'm being policed."

He nodded. "Better," he allowed but I leaned in and kissed him anyways for a moment before I leaned back.

"What time is it?" I asked suddenly.

He shrugged slightly. "Probably a few hours 'til it's time to get up. Why?"

I nodded absently, hearing thunder in the distance again. I stood up and walked to the window, beaming into the sky. The thunder had gotten a little louder; it was coming closer.

"Sounds like a storm is coming," Spot said softly, hugging me from behind to watch the mounting storm with me. I leaned back against him and smiled myself, watching the lightning dance across the sky, lighting up the sparse clouds in the dark sky.

Yes, Spot was right. A storm was coming. Our storm with Johnny was not over yet. We had reached the eye of it, the calm before everything fell to pieces. I didn't delude myself with fanciful dreams that now Spot and I could live in peace. No, I wasn't that daft. I had no doubt that we would see Desiree, Johnny and whatever ilk that the Bronx brought along with them sometime in our future.

The wind could whip us around, the thunder could shake us all down to our bones, the lightning could make us jump, and the rain could chill us to the core. And I wouldn't care one bit. I was content to be with Spot, and wrap myself up in the security I found with him, floating along on the current of the wind that seemed to whisper promises of being safe, for now. He knew how I felt about him and I knew how he felt about me.

And until the moment that the storm would break, little else mattered.

_Let me light up the sky. Light it up for you. Let me tell you why I would die for you._

* * *

**_Crysob! VICIOUS is offically over. God, it's so hard to break up with this story! I enjoyed writing it so very much. And I love how Angel is progressing as a character. i'm very attached to her, duh, and I'm really admiring the way she's handling herself through everything. She's much stronger psychologically than I pegged her, which sounds funny since I created her. I think VICIOUS really helped bring out that strongness in her, even if she did run away because things got overwhelming. Wow, listen to me rambling about my own character. God, shuddup Sara! xD_**

**_I'm ready to move on, though. Buuut, I have some bittersweet news: I am not posting the third and final story in this trilogy next. That's right, kids. I'm going to do the background story first, so things make some sense. (But if you're a creeper such as myself, I've posted the name, summary and some commentary from myself on my profile about the third story, so occupy yourselves with that, teehee) You'll get to see the extent of Angel's past and why she is the way she is, PLUS how she met Spot, how he found out about her father, and the fun little escape to America. Woot!_**

**_I want to thank everyone for reviewing, fav-ing, alerting and some such things that made me smile and urged me to keep writing. Some of you don't know, but I don't write for reviews, I write because I love it, and my muses would absolutely eat me alive if I didn't tell their stories._**

**_See you all in my next story. I love you all._**

_**CTB!**_

_**xx Wicked**_

**_PS- Lyrics stolen from "Light Up the Sky" by Yellowcard. The song is basically the theme of this story, just like "Everything" by Lifehouse was the theme in BLUE EYES._**


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